Why do I rarely get any attention on dating sites?

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Colin88
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09 Sep 2012, 6:26 pm

The one site I use the most is OKCupid and no matter how many girls I message, only 1% would respond. Is it the conversation starter, my profile, that I have nothing to hide, or the questions I've answered? I've disclosed that I'm a virgin in one of the questions and made the profile as generic as possible. I'm not the most confident person in the world and in my pics, I'm not really smiling. Any way I can get more attention so I can potentially have more hope?


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Venger
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09 Sep 2012, 6:42 pm

I joined a dating site for the first time ever a little less than a week ago. I didn't get any replies either until I sent a semi-rude message. I told this good looking brunette wearing a swimsuit in her profile photo that: "she was probably lying about NEVER having done drugs before". And then I got my first reply. :lmao:

Sending rude non-sexual messages is a great way to get replies. It also shows you're not a wuss.



Colin88
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09 Sep 2012, 7:32 pm

I can't help but express who I truly am. The only ones who actually contact me are really overweight (like 250 lbs) and that's not my type.


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anneurysm
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09 Sep 2012, 7:40 pm

Perhaps you can post your okcupid profile on here, and the forum can peek at it and give you some tips.


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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term psychiatrists - that I am a highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder

My diagnoses - anxiety disorder, depression and traits of obsessive-compulsive disorder (all in remission).

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


Venger
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09 Sep 2012, 7:44 pm

I live in a pretty good sized area, and I only saw like two or three that looked like an 8/10 or above. And that's on a 1-10 scale with 5 or below(50%) being an F grade.

The vast majority on those sites are around a 6/10(D) or 7/10(C), but they're still very conservative about replying. :?



Colin88
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09 Sep 2012, 8:16 pm

here's the profile Profile


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Colin88
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09 Sep 2012, 8:21 pm

Maybe I'm being to adamant?


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wtfid2
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09 Sep 2012, 8:32 pm

Colin88 wrote:
here's the profile Profile
u sent the homepage it linked to my profile
i use my detective skills to locate your profile and u have no picture..gl with that one lol.


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Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits


Colin88
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09 Sep 2012, 8:36 pm

wtfid2 wrote:
Colin88 wrote:
here's the profile Profile
u sent the homepage it linked to my profile
i use my detective skills to locate your profile and u have no picture..gl with that one lol.


I do have a pic. I have 5 or 6 of them uploaded


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BlueMax
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09 Sep 2012, 8:37 pm

Maybe just share your username and those of us with accounts can look it up.



Colin88
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09 Sep 2012, 8:42 pm

It's pretty much the same as on this site. Colind1988 is the username on OKC.


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ALguy1957
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09 Sep 2012, 9:55 pm

It took me 4 months on POF and DH before I met anyone back in 2010. And she was 80 miles away. We toured a museum about half way between us. Even normal (NT) guys don't get many responses on those sites. A lot of times I do get replies back from women that view me or send me a flirt first. Most are smokers or single moms so I don't even bother with them. But I wish more BBWs would contact me. I find plus size attractive. :)



anneurysm
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09 Sep 2012, 10:29 pm

Looked at your profile (am anneurysm2, by the way), and so far, so good.

You are very down to earth, and honest without being too-honest. The only thing I'd suggest would be the section on "I spend a lot of time thinking about"...maybe get specific and name the most interesting thing you think about. "Quite a lot of things" is kind of vague, and with this question, people seem to get a really good sense of your personality and where you come from. I'm sure you can think of something interesting for that question.

At any rate, just keep trying...your profile looks good so I'm surprised you're not getting only a few messages make despite you taking initiative and messaging people yourself.


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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term psychiatrists - that I am a highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder

My diagnoses - anxiety disorder, depression and traits of obsessive-compulsive disorder (all in remission).

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


Stargazer43
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09 Sep 2012, 11:32 pm

I think you should definitely try to get some more cheerful looking photos. To be honest the first two that you have now look extremely intimidating (the close-up of your face is actually really good but I'm sure a bigger smile would improve it!). Other than that I'd recommend not putting as much emphasis on your initial shyness (mention it but don't stress it, remember you want to paint yourself in the most positive light possible). And I would reword or remove the johnny-come-lately bit, it sounds a bit too negative. I hope I was able to help,



Colin88
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10 Sep 2012, 10:01 am

It's near impossible for me to smile in photos


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10 Sep 2012, 2:06 pm

Can't women on OKcupid also see how long its been since you logged in? It's probably best to not log in constantly since you get an e-mail notification of messages anyway. That's also another reason why I said to be slightly rude in the initial message, so they can see you don't give a f*** if they reply or not. lol

Women are more likely to message you if you act like you don't care either way. :roll: