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Raziel
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12 Sep 2012, 11:17 am

Sorry for posting this here...

I propably have a PTSD, after I had to stay two years ago for 14 days against my will in the locked ward of a psychiatric hospital.
They didn't realize that I freaked out there so much, because I had claustrophobia.
I couldn't tell them properly my situation.

Now, I'm actually a looooot better with my trauma and it's gone to maybe 70% I guess. :D

But in one week it's exactly two years ago and this causes me a lot of stress.
Actually emotionally I'm doing quite allright.
BUT shortly after the trauma occoured I had some psychotic symptoms I guess, last year at the same time I clearly had some psychotic symptoms because of the PTSD and a lot of emotionally disturbance and fear and so on. This year I'm mostly calm for the first time and I'm doing very well emotionally actually, I don't freak ot, nothing. I'm even mostly calm, BUT I guess psychotic symptoms are comming back. I allready thought that yesterday, but wasn't sure, but now I am pretty sure. 8O

So, okay here the problems:
I will NOT go in THAT psychiatric hospital again!
I have an appointment by a psychiatrist on september 19th, but I have never gone there bevore. So I don't know him.
I'm allone at home and that frightens me, in case I might freak out or something. I don't think so, because those symptoms went away every time I had them by itself and I was still mostly attached to really, but it still scares me. :cry:


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cathylynn
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12 Sep 2012, 11:54 am

too bad you can't see the psychiatrist sooner. a temporary rx for antipsychotics could make you much more comfortable. they can't hospitalize you unless you're a danger to yourself or others.



Raziel
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12 Sep 2012, 12:04 pm

I react very bad to antipsychotics.
I once got a blepharospasm on the right eye. Since this I have been toled that I shouldn't take any medications anymore that can cause dyskinesias. :?


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Callista
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12 Sep 2012, 12:55 pm

Good thing your psychosis is mild and you "stay in touch with reality", as you put it. You may be able to manage it indirectly by managing your anxiety.

What psychotic symptoms, exactly? Hallucinations? Losing track of reality? Unrealistic thinking? Paranoia? Depending on exactly what you're experiencing and how severe it is, it may not even qualify as full-on psychosis. Or it may, and you may be able to deal with it in some way other than antipsychotics.

But it does sound unpleasant. So, yeah, see a doctor. Mention that you cannot take antipsychotics. (And don't believe them that the newer ones don't cause dyskinesias--the risk is lower, but they do.) In your case, it would be a matter of balancing one symptom against the other, lowering dosage, etc.


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Raziel
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12 Sep 2012, 3:18 pm

Thank's for your answers so far. :D

Callista wrote:
Good thing your psychosis is mild and you "stay in touch with reality", as you put it. You may be able to manage it indirectly by managing your anxiety.


Someone calmed me down today, so it's slightly better, but still a very difficult time for me and I'm still a bit in that state. :cry:

Callista wrote:
What psychotic symptoms, exactly? Hallucinations? Losing track of reality? Unrealistic thinking? Paranoia? Depending on exactly what you're experiencing and how severe it is, it may not even qualify as full-on psychosis. Or it may, and you may be able to deal with it in some way other than antipsychotics.


Actually I'm not 100% sure what it is. :oops:
I never toled a psychiatrist about it.

1. Situation, right after the trauma:
It lasted weeks and I totally freaked out, but I don't mean that.
I wasn't sure what was reality and what just my thoughts. I couldn't figure it out right anymore.
Everything was just in a "dreamworld" and I couldn't devide the things I was thinking in my head right from reallity anymore. I also had trouble finding my way home. I stood in a supermarked and didn't know what I actually liked, I allways had to remind myself where I am and how I come home, I couldn't really figure out on witch side of the trainstation I had to go to catch the right train and drove 3 times, right behind each other in the wrong direction.
And I had this "fuzzy feeling" in my head. But I could still act more or less "normal". So I was still kind of in touch with reality.
Actually at this time I have seen a psychiatrist, but just shortly, and he first thought that I'm psychotic or something simmilar. I don't exactly know why, because I haven't sayed anything about it and in the end he didn't think that anymore.

2. Situation, one year after the trauma:
I totally freaked out emotionally again and saw "shadow people" especcially in my bath room standing right behind me and had naerly a paranoid fear, but I still could controll this fear and I knew that those "shadow people" weren't real. I went to a friend of mine for a week or two and I calmed down.

3. Situation, now, two years after the trauma:
I don't freak out :) (at least at the moment I'm quite calm)
So, it is getting better. But now, nearly two years after the trauma the "fuzzy feeling" in my head is back and I have trouble remembering again. I'm feeling like I'm "pulled away" from reality and I hear voices, but not loud and clear, no. I'm not even sure what they are saying and what they are. Maybe they are just situations comming up in my head from the trauma, maybe they are not, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like not being "there" anymore, but I still know what's real.

Callista wrote:
But it does sound unpleasant. So, yeah, see a doctor. Mention that you cannot take antipsychotics. (And don't believe them that the newer ones don't cause dyskinesias--the risk is lower, but they do.) In your case, it would be a matter of balancing one symptom against the other, lowering dosage, etc.


I was taking Promethazin shortly after the trauma for just a fiew weeks and I totally freaked out. But it was propably just the trauma. I once took Risperdal and I didn't freaked out, but I couldn't controll my overloads anymore, because I didn't see them comming anymore.
But with the Promethazin it was different. After just a view weeks I got a blepharospasm that stayed for months and I even had to got to the neurology in the hospital for a day to get it checked at this time. They toled me, it's propably genetic because it is actually very rare and also my mom has sometomes very slight problems on the right eye that remind on blepharospasm and that I have a high risk that those symptoms will come back with medications that can cause dyskinesisias. Just one in 20.000 people has a blepharospasm. So it's not harmlull, but also not that nice to have, but very rare and propably genetic and I can get it again any time.


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Raziel
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13 Sep 2012, 3:25 am

---


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Last edited by Raziel on 16 Sep 2012, 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Raziel
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16 Sep 2012, 7:40 am

These days was nothing because I could relax more, but today I saw "shadow people" again. :oops:

Next week is my apointment with the psychiatrist.
And I still don't know what to say, because I even don't know him.

Next weekend, exactly when my traumatic incident occouret two years ago my mother wants to meet with me and buy new windows with me.
New windows. 8O

My mother doesn't know anything about my trauma and I have my trauma from the locked ward because I have claustrophobia, so shopping windows on that day is a bit strange for me. :?


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Bunnynose
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16 Sep 2012, 7:50 am

The symptoms you're describing sound more in line with schizophrenia rather than PTSD.

I've had PTSD almost all my life and I have never ever imagined shadowy people.



Raziel
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16 Sep 2012, 8:07 am

Bunnynose wrote:
The symptoms you're describing sound more in line with schizophrenia rather than PTSD.

I've had PTSD almost all my life and I have never ever imagined shadowy people.


Psychotic symptoms or psychotic like symptoms can occourwith nearly every psychiatric disorder, even depression.

With schizophrenia you couldn't explain, why I have all the other PTSD symtoms and that I just have those psychotic (like) symptoms once a year, when the anniversery of the traumatic incident is comming up.

There are two things than can occour to you in PTSD:

1) The Relationship between PTSD and Psychotic Symptoms

"PTSD and psychotic Symptoms can co-occur. In clinical terms, PTSD is described as consisting of three clusters of symptoms: re-experiencing symptoms, avoidance symptoms, and hyperarousal symptoms. However, some mental health professionals believe that the experience of psychotic symptoms should be considered as an addition to that list, given that they commonly occur among people with PTSD.

[...]

Researchers at the University of Manitoba, Columbia University, and the University of Regina examined the data on 5,877 people from across the United States in order to determine the rates with which people with PTSD experience different psychotic symptoms.

They found that, among people with PTSD, the experience of positive psychotic symptoms was most common. Approximately 52% of people who reported having PTSD at some point in their lifetime also reported experiencing a positive psychotic symptom.

The most common positive symptoms were:

Believing that other people were spying on or following them (27.5%)

Seeing something that others could not see (19.8%)

Having unusual feelings inside or outside of their bodies, such as feeling as though they were being touched when no one was really there (16.8%)

Believing that they could hear what someone else was thinking (12.4%)

Being bothered by strange smells that no one else could smell (10.3%)

Believing that their behaviors and thoughts were bring controlled by some power or force (10%)
The researchers also found evidence that the more PTSD symptoms a person was experiencing, the greater the likelihood that they would also experience positive psychotic symptoms."



And also dissociation, what can also look very simmilar:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWoGOa6WSKA&feature=share&list=PLVzgWnZQ9G9_WV_hqTbEON0Vu3rGLzam8[/youtube]


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Raziel
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16 Sep 2012, 8:32 am

I deffinitly have PTSD symptoms.
Even not that extreme anymore, but still there every day.

What I believe is:

1) There are dissociation, because they can be highly simmilar to psychotic symptoms

2) I have schizoaffective

But I would go more with the first one, because I can't explain it to my any better that I had those symptomse just 3 times and every time on the anniversery of the trauma or right after the trauma.


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Ettina
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16 Sep 2012, 9:38 am

Psychotic symptoms are an uncommon, but documented, feature of PTSD. Some researchers feel that this is a characteristic of severe PTSD, others say it's related to comorbid major depression (severe depression can make you psychotic). Some references:

http://www.biologicalpsychiatryjournal.com/article/S0006-3223(03)00571-7/abstract
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/(SICI)1520-6394(1997)5:1%3C34::AID-DA6%3E3.0.CO;2-5/abstract
http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/amsus/zmm/2005/00000170/00000003/art00020
http://www.biologicalpsychiatryjournal.com/article/0006-3223(95)00314-2/abstract
http://www.ziektefaq.info/pdf/trauma/6.pdf
http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/HomePage/Faculty/Salinas/PTSD.BioPsychia/24Psychosis.pdf

One thought is to check out if there's a support group in your area, run by and for people with psychiatric issues. They'd be the best bet of getting help without risking getting locked up again.



Raziel
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16 Sep 2012, 9:47 am

Ettina wrote:
Psychotic symptoms are an uncommon, but documented, feature of PTSD. Some researchers feel that this is a characteristic of severe PTSD, others say it's related to comorbid major depression (severe depression can make you psychotic).


Thanks for your references, I'll go through them. :D

I actually don't have severe PTBS, but my symptoms get worse, when the anniversary day comes up. :(
And then I get those symptoms. :oops:


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16 Sep 2012, 3:27 pm

After dealing with an emotional abuser I developed PTSD and developed some weird symptoms. I could no longer distinguish reality from just my thoughts and I am sure the abuser took pride in the fact that he proved I was crazy. I started screaming at some people who showed up at the university track because I thought one was him. I thought some mutual friends were ganging up on me. I drove and drove and realized I had no idea where I was because I was living in a "fog." Normal friends did not seem honest anymore. The ER nurse kept saying I was a schizophrenic so I think some of the symptoms overlap. I know I am not and after a year I am pretty well-recovered.



Raziel
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16 Sep 2012, 3:36 pm

Mego wrote:
I could no longer distinguish reality from just my thoughts [...] I drove and drove and realized I had no idea where I was because I was living in a "fog."


I had exactly the same symptoms in the beginning right after the trauma. 8O


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16 Sep 2012, 5:54 pm

These are the things you've listed in your sig line:

Quote:
- HFA dx AQ: 32
- Gender Dysphoria dx
- Tourette Syndrome
- (since 2 years) mild PTSD/DESNOS
- Bipolar II suspicion


Honestly you have a number of psychiatric things going on that need to be addressed in real life. To pin much of it on PTSD is a mistake.

Mild PTSD symptoms do not cause people to imagine shadowy people. PTSD is an anxiety disorder that causes people to be (overly) reactive to their environment in a negative way. If a PTSD survivor is not trying to forget/deny his trauma, he is re-experiencing it through flashbacks, nightmares, or both. He is prone to anger, to ruminating, and finds himself enthralled to an overwhelming urge to continue destructive behavior. His disorder is based in reality and the horror and pain of his trauma, not upon make-believe.



Raziel
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16 Sep 2012, 6:00 pm

Bunnynose wrote:
Mild PTSD symptoms do not cause people to imagine shadowy people. PTSD is an anxiety disorder that causes people to be (overly) reactive to their environment in a negative way. If a PTSD survivor is not trying to forget/deny his trauma, he is re-experiencing it through flashbacks, nightmares, or both. He is prone to anger, to ruminating, and finds himself enthralled to an overwhelming urge to continue destructive behavior. His disorder is based in reality and the horror and pain of his trauma, not upon make-believe.


I know what PTSD is, I suffer from it every day and I can't explain myself otherwise why I just have those symptoms every year at anniversary of the traumatic incidence. 8O

Well it could also be dissociation, how it is mentioned in the video, because even then I'm still in touch with reality and so it could be just like flash back memories from the trauma.


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