Am I wrong or right to be annoyed by my friend (LONG STORY)?

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LittleSwallow
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13 Sep 2012, 5:30 am

The thing is my friend keeps wanting to do stuff every weekend with me. She is 20 and I am 19.
It's bad enough that she keeps wanting to do stuff every weekend, but another thing is she always asks me about it halfway through the week, not even closer to the weekend at least. Before I used to agree to it, and plan my weekend with her, then she always texts stuff like "Cant wait for the weekend" and so on. But then, not all the time, but sometimes on the Saturday she would either cancel last minute because she might have to babysit and cant get out of it, or if it was a night in, if a party was happening somewhere she changes plans and says that we should go to the party instead, even though I would have gotton in the mood for a night in instead.

It annoyed me how she keeps doing this, even though me and a friend of mine used to give out to her loads of times and tell her to organise stuff nearer to the weekend instead. Because anything could happen during the week where I might want to do something else with another person or just have a weekend to myself, but I cant because I promised her first. Thats the thing about me, I always go with the person I made promises with first, but it kinda annoys me how she always catches me out halfway through the week so i cant go out with other mates who might ask me if i want to do stuff the day before the weekend.

Another thing about my mate is that she really has not much friends apart from me because she can get a bit much for people sometimes (she is very slow, its like as if she is 12 sometimes)

So now I just say to her "we will see when the weekend is nearer". But even then she organises stuff and would ask "When will you know?" loads of times during the week when she asks if I know yet that I can come out or not, and its not something big, it would be like a DVD night or something. Sometimes the texting gets so annoying that i would actually cancel and make up some crap not to hang out, coz her constant asking and texting during the week puts me off. Because like I said, she has a habit of canceling last minute on the day, so why should I put my energy of looking forward to a weekend not might not happen? Also having to put other plans aside too.

Anyway last weekend I canceled because i had to move stuff to my sisters house for college this year, and another thing about her is that when u cancel, she doesnt accept it first time around, she asks why, then asks if she can come to ur house either, and last week she pointed out that i will be starting monday, even though i was moving up sunday and had a LOT of stuff to pack up in my house, so anyone would know it would take a lot of time.


So anyway this morning I got a text from her saying "Chinese takeaway sat nite" because I canceled on that ;ast weekend.

But I havent texted her back yet, because I am really annoyed now at this stage. I mean she wouldnt even ask me at least, just assumes I will go with her this weekend for a Chinese takeaway. That and the fact she moaned at one point about how she always has to organise things for us to do, but I mean she never gives us a chance when she organises stuff already halfway through the week.

See, this will sound mean but its the truth tbh, but both of us have pathetic lives, but I have more of a life than she does. I would at least have some people in my life I can hang out and get along with like a few mates, a cousin my own age, and I talk to some people from my Aspie group. (I have Aspergers)

But she seems to have no one, no one really talks to her, because she is like a child in a bad way, she is obsessed with guys to the point she would stalk them a bit, she keeps falling out with loads of people over stupid things, like her cousins and family, she had loads of friends, but one by one they all dropped her or she stopped talking to them, mostly because of her behavior towards guys. Thats why I cant include her with my mates because they all dislike her and tbh I dont blame them. She hates being home at the weekend and always wants to do something. When it comes to her cousins they are all children so she has no one her own age to hang out with. She just cant accept that her behavior and her personality is something that a lot of people do not have the patience for, and she wont change her ways at all.


I still want to be her friend, but she is making it so hard with the way she acts. I just wish she would respect the fact that I have a life too, so that she could at least accept the fact that I cant always do what she wants. Especially since I have college to get ready for, coz its not like I am just heading back into school again, this is something I really want to get prepped up for. And what am I doing instead this evening? Typing this essay questions about her. :/

So am i right to be annoyed, or am i being a bit unfair?



PTSmorrow
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13 Sep 2012, 8:34 am

If you don't want it, just say no. Nobody is obliged to spend his spare time the way others want him to.



Moondust
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16 Sep 2012, 10:20 am

She needs a shadow companion. At some point she may find one and let you breathe. In the meantime, you're placing boundaries and that's great.


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Sarah81
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16 Sep 2012, 8:21 pm

Moondust wrote:
She needs a shadow companion. At some point she may find one and let you breathe. In the meantime, you're placing boundaries and that's great.


This.