NT Female and AS Male Sexual Relationship

Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

jessicalynne
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 2

13 Sep 2012, 1:29 pm

My question to all of you is how is or what is your experience regarding sexual relationships in which you have an NT female and AS male.

Specifically:
Lack of emotion
Lack of desire


Thank you



gretchyn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 504
Location: Middle Earth

13 Sep 2012, 2:03 pm

My relationship is the opposite (I'm the AS female with an NT male), but I can tell you that I, too seem to have a lack of emotion and lack of desire in the eyes of my husband. However, it's not true; I do have emotions (granted, they're usually sad/anxious/angry), and I do have desire (although probably less than my husband). However, I am terrible at communicating them. He says I don't seem "into it" and gets upset. Then I get upset because I am, but he won't believe me. Apparently my facial expressions contradict my feelings.



jessicalynne
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 2

13 Sep 2012, 2:12 pm

Thank you for your response! It was very helpful. What you described for yourself is what I experience with my boyfriend. However, he is not aware that he is AS. I just figured this out myself. I'm very nervous about if/when to tell him.



gretchyn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 504
Location: Middle Earth

13 Sep 2012, 2:20 pm

I'm glad that helped...I hope that you're able to understand that he can't help it. That's especially true if he doesn't know about it. I discovered Asperger's when the mother of an autistic child asked me if I had it. I wasn't upset that it was suggested, but I didn't know what it was so I researched it. When I read about it, I suddenly experienced clarity. If he's anything like me, he will be relieved that he has an answer and can work on what he would like to change within the framework of Asperger's, instead of just thinking there's something wrong with him. Just be patient with him...it's so difficult to change...