One thing about Aspergers that sucks for me

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Chimps live in social groups that are very hierarchical and can be very aggressive, just like NTs

Orang-utans tend to live solitary lives, not in groups, and as a result they are not aggressive in fact they come across as the opposite ie slow and vulnerable

I think there are a lot of parallels with autistic people ie we spend a lot of time on our own ie not in groups and we are generally placid/not aggressive and vulnerable

It made me think that perhaps it's the solitary lifestyle of the orang-utan; not living in a pack that gives them this vulnerable aspect, like us

Similar thing can be seen in Pandas - they have a sort of slow-moving placid vulnerability thing
and they tend to live most of their lives on their own

one thing i hate about aspergers....

I'll be elated to be proven wrong, but in the meantime, this is what I believe:

If charisma could be learned, it'd be because someone is able to teach it.

And if that someone existed, they'd be so successful and famous that we would've heard of them and there'd be a waiting line of years to join their courses, not to mention that person would be a billionaire.

Because if there's one thing every human is willing to pay for, it's having influence over others. That's why advertising works at getting your money - they promise you the illusion of influence over others if you just use this deodorant or ride that motorcycle.

Charisma is personality, and as such it has a strong inborn component, and a strong childhood formation component. If you're not awing people at, say, your twenties, you won't start awing them after taking a course.

Well said! I totally agree

Charisma exists in the solar plexis, thats why aspies need to improve their gut function

Lol that's charismatically very funny

I'm too gutless, no intestinal fortitude

braveheart could be braveguts

I think it's a subjective thing, but of course charismatic people seduces easily.

I think Alan Rickman has charisma because his presence on screen take control of the scene even when he is a secondary character. If he is the villain of the movie, then the hero can begin to cry. And he does this effortless.

But the champion is Vittorio Gassman. He was even too charismatic

Social skills, communication and leadership can all be learned. There are many good sources out there about leadership, positivity, attitude and secrets to success. It doesn't come naturally, even to NTs. But they can be learned by going out of your comfort zone just a little bit at a time. Lots and lots of books on it, especially in business or the best seller lists.

Some tips are to have a positive attitude. Not unrealistically positive, but it is our natural state to be negative as humans, so it's best to have more positive thoughts than negative ones. It has been shown that positive people tend to be more successful than negative, or even neutral people.

I can relate to your goal. Before I knew that I had AS, when I was young, I would want to learn acting and hope that it would show me the secret to social success. Of course it didn't, but I kept looking and could never find any magical formula that would make people like me. But I'd still watch people and wonder what it would be like to be popular or influential.

But I can see that if you start with a huge goal in mind, of course learning the skills you need becomes overwhelming. So I'm taking it one step at a time. I know that having a social disability puts me at a disadvantage. But what I've realised is that how you approach adversity is more important than the hardships themselves. So don't give up. I didn't, and now I can see that having this barrier to overcome, and not giving up, has made me a stronger person. Let me know how your journey goes It's a challenge that I'm trying to overcome as well, and I'd love to hear how you see it too.

'Intent intent intent!'
Don Juan

SOME people are able to learn charisma, but if you are an aspie, and have a case of it that's moderate or greater, you're not going to be able to. Asperger syndrome is indeed a social disability in the truest sense of the world. And if you have a disability then you are going to have limitations that most people don't have; some of which cannot be overcome. If you are disabled you may not be able to do all of the things that people who aren't do.

There are a lot of things about ourselves that we simply have no control over, and that includes our strengths and weaknesses. Some things in life cannot be changed; so in order to get by you have to figure out a way to accept things. Perhaps the best way to do this is direct your effort and focus entirely on things that you CAN do something about as well as things that make use of your strengths. If you are an aspie, social skills are not your strength. So if you want to influence society you have to produce something that other people recognize and appreciate.

engineering and science....

I've settled for planting a seed in people's minds when I have an opportunity in conversation. I know they resent the new, especially coming from an outsider like me, but with time (and as things happen that make them regret not having given credit to my words) I'm sure many recall my ideas and spread them. I don't get any perks for it, except knowing I'm contributing to the world - as best I can.

Jack and the beanstalk.... he climbed all the way to heaven