Have you ever been bullied?

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Have you ever been bullied
Yes, by someone who knew I had aspergers/ was autistic 4%  4%  [ 13 ]
Yes, by someone who knew I had aspergers/ was autistic 5%  5%  [ 16 ]
Yes, by someone who didn't know I had aspergers/was autistic 38%  38%  [ 133 ]
Yes, by someone who didn't know I had aspergers/was autistic 42%  42%  [ 146 ]
No 5%  5%  [ 18 ]
No 6%  6%  [ 20 ]
Total votes : 346

ColdEyesWarmHeart
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16 Nov 2012, 6:50 pm

I'm not diagnosed, currently trying to get an assessment.

Funnily enough, I was thinking today of starting a thread based on the subject in the OP: that people can just somehow tell there is something different about me. But family and friends don't seem to be able to see it and don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe the people who have always known me are used to it, and people who like me from the off are those who can't see it?

Many a time it's happened that I have managed to look someone in the eye and they have flinched. Only very slightly, and if I weren't actually looking for it I wouldn't have picked up on it. It's so subtle I wonder if it is even conscious on their part. But it is always after that eye contact that they turn cold on me and seem wary of me.


Back on topic though. I was bullied right through school. For being slow, for being clever and for supposedly being a snob (I never was, I just had my mother's well-spoken accent, I was painfully shy and was mocked whenever I spoke, so I didn't speak much). Then it just escalated into everything I did being wrong. Goading me until I snapped, then I'd be punished.

I would have had some respite at uni apart from the fact that I was with a boyfriend who turned cruel and emotionally abusive. He told me constantly that no-one else would ever want me, which I know is what bullies say, but in my case it has been proven correct.

As for working life, whenever I have managed to get a job I've become the target of a bully within the first fortnight.

Adult friendships haven't been a lot better. I've recently had two people stop speaking to me for no reason I know of (not the first time it happened) and every man I've ever dated (all four of them) has cheated on me and constantly lied to me.

This is my world. Whether it is Aspergers or not, it seems other people can clearly see that something isn't quite right about me.


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littlelily613
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25 Nov 2012, 1:01 am

Yes, many times. I believe I was picked on because of my autistic traits, but not on the diagnosistic label. I had the traits, but the label at that time, and people didn't like me because I was weird.


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SoftKitty
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04 Dec 2012, 12:07 pm

Oh yeah, severely. My worst memory is the same that Snape had in The Order Of The Phoenix. To a T. So now you know what happened to me.


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MDD123
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02 Jan 2013, 8:23 pm

I was bullied a lot before turning 18, and a little afterwards. I've bullied a few people myself though.


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KokiriJamthund
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03 Jan 2013, 1:59 am

I've had people used the fact that I had Asperger's to further bully me and I've had people who just thought I was "weird" or "stupid" harass me. I picked "Yes, by people who knew" because I felt that picking "By people who didn't know" would be me saying that no one who ever bullied me knew I was diagnosed with Asperger's.


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Schwammerl
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15 Jan 2013, 5:10 pm

I was bullied all my life. By different people, in different ways. By my father, who used to say I was stupid and useless and would rather beat me up than explain to me what I had done to anger him; my emotionally unstable mother, with her erratic, scary behaviour; my school mates (I used to get into lots of fights as a child - at least at the time I would still stand up for myself; but later, in my teens, bullying became subtler, cowardly and psychological and I was totally defenseless); then, till recent years, by an abusive and controlling partner.

In hindsight, the worst thing about it all is that for a long time I wasn't even aware of what was truly going on. It hurt, but back then I didn't even acknowledge there was a problem - to me it as simply "normal". Now that in hindsight I'm beginning to realise what I've been through, it's maddening - very difficult to come to terms with.



Mxzysptlik
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16 Jan 2013, 8:23 pm

Ohhh yeah. I was bullied through high school and sometimes in college, by "friends" even. Most of the time I didn't know what they were doing so I just laughed it off. Apparently it bothers people if you're not bothered by their insults. What I've found out now is that people who bully me are people who don't like themselves. There are tons of insecure people out there. Also, I give off that "I don't give a f**k what you think" kind of thing so people don't like that. They think I'm full of myself lol. I have to admit, I've done some bullying myself but it was only in self-defense. I never talk about someone just cause.



Mxzysptlik
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16 Jan 2013, 8:35 pm

Schwammerl wrote:
I was bullied all my life. By different people, in different ways. By my father, who used to say I was stupid and useless and would rather beat me up than explain to me what I had done to anger him; my emotionally unstable mother, with her erratic, scary behaviour; my school mates (I used to get into lots of fights as a child - at least at the time I would still stand up for myself; but later, in my teens, bullying became subtler, cowardly and psychological and I was totally defenseless); then, till recent years, by an abusive and controlling partner.

In hindsight, the worst thing about it all is that for a long time I wasn't even aware of what was truly going on. It hurt, but back then I didn't even acknowledge there was a problem - to me it as simply "normal". Now that in hindsight I'm beginning to realise what I've been through, it's maddening - very difficult to come to terms with.

Yeah, I can totally understand that. I held onto some toxic people for too long that I'm just now getting out of my life. Toxic people pull good people down. That's what my sister told me, at least. I allowed someone below me, in terms of their integrity as a person, to make me feel like I was nothing, and they enjoyed it the entire time. When it's all said and done, you realize how low you actually were and wonder how you allowed yourself to be pulled down to such a level. The silver lining is you're out of it now so you can look forward to the future and know what qualities to watch for in a person.



Sylvastor
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17 Jan 2013, 9:28 am

The suspicion of having AS arose last year and I didn't tell that anybody except my closest relatives: Parents and brother.

Yes, I was bullied, that was before the suspicion of me and my psychologist. Logically, I chose option 2, there is no way they could know. Thanks goodness those times are over now (at least for now).


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Vintagegirl
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20 Jan 2013, 5:29 pm

Yes! I think most people with autism have been bullied.



BornThisWay
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23 Jan 2013, 2:12 pm

There was no Asperger's dx when I was young - but I suffered terribly from the bullying throughout my school years. As an adult, I've run across a few bullying sociopaths and it took a while to figure them out. At first they would try their shtick on me, but for the most part I know when to avoid them now.



auntblabby
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23 Jan 2013, 10:44 pm

^^^
but some bullies are mightily persistent. :hmph:



MrKnowItAll
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04 Feb 2013, 9:20 pm

I can't answer that question. I was bullied more than the average person, but not so much it made my life miserable. The times I played with other kids I always tried to make sure it was no more than three because that seemed to be the threshold for putting somebody on the outside.

I always fought back even when I knew the other guy would win. They respected me for that, although probably not as much as they would have if I'd won.

As an adult I often got verbally bullied. I fought back then too, and always won. If I have to I can insult somebody right down to his bones and make it clever enough that everybody will repeat it.



Draka
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08 Apr 2013, 11:11 pm

As there was this rumorish-thing going around that I killed people, the only people who went after me were the ones who knew I was harmless, i. e. "friends". I think all three of them had their own mental problems.



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13 Apr 2013, 5:36 am

When I was younger, I used to be a bully myself, until I learnt the error of my ways.