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Taverson
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18 Sep 2012, 11:33 am

Are there any women who wouldn’t judge a man on a fear of driving? I cannot drive, I don’t want to drive. I cannot function in an environment of up to hundreds of people having to co-exist and cooperate at the same time in order to protect their vehicles and ultimately human life.

I realise this has been the ultimate hindrance in attempting to break out of my isolation in order to live a life. I live in a city that doesn’t have a very good network of buses and have considered moving to a better area that would lend me workable mobility without needing to own a vehicle. But I find it absolutely perverse that the cities with the best public transportation are the cities with the most crime and/or the highest cost of living. But I do not ever think I can ever overcome the obstacle that is driving.

It feels unnatural to be moving at speeds the human body can’t move at on its own while controlling a machine or contraption to be able to get somewhere. I don’t have the mental capacity to drive a vehicle in a busy environment or the balance to even ride a bicycle.

I worry that if I ever work up the courage to pursue a woman, it would result in her having a poor view of me due to not being able to transport myself on my own.

What I’m trying to say though: is not having the courage or capacity to drive a vehicle a major deterrence to women? Does it make me appear to have a child-like helplessness that would detract from who I am?


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MXH
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18 Sep 2012, 11:38 am

women here will tell you its no big deal.

in reality most women would almost demand you have a car. Bunch of different reasons for it, but they say you need one anyways.



Taverson
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18 Sep 2012, 11:41 am

MXH wrote:
women here will tell you its no big deal.

in reality most women would almost demand you have a car. Bunch of different reasons for it, but they say you need one anyways.


So basically, if romantic relationships were conducted here, not a problem. But in the real world, it takes a drastic suckerpunch at my chances of love?


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OliveOilMom
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18 Sep 2012, 11:51 am

It would probably depend on where you live. In bigger cities like New York and Chicago, etc where people take cabs and such on dates it wouldn't be a problem. It probably wouldn't even in some smaller cities like Birmingham where you could get a car service instead of a cab, but you wouldn't want to take a date on the bus or a subway or anything.

If she has a car, it shouldn't be much of a problem, depending on your age. When I was young and single I had a really great car and we always took my car on dates and I always drove. I preferred it.


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MXH
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18 Sep 2012, 12:06 pm

Taverson wrote:
MXH wrote:
women here will tell you its no big deal.

in reality most women would almost demand you have a car. Bunch of different reasons for it, but they say you need one anyways.


So basically, if romantic relationships were conducted here, not a problem. But in the real world, it takes a drastic suckerpunch at my chances of love?


no, its just women here wont be like what the majority are in the real world. plus the ones here know about such dificulties. IRL not so much and explaining them might make them want to seek someone "better".



eric76
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18 Sep 2012, 12:55 pm

I drive because I have to, not because I want to. If I was wealthy, I'd hire a chauffeur to drive me around instead.

I've always wanted to live somewhere where I could get by without driving. There's the obvious big cities, but I'm not that fond of big cities.

Another would be some place like Avalon, California on Santa Cantalina Island -- you can easily get by walking or bicycling there.

I've read that on Maui in Hawaii, there is a town that still has posts on the streets to tie horses to for the residents who ride horses to town. It's along some highway that is so rough that the car rental companies ban you from taking their rental cars down that highway.



Taverson
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18 Sep 2012, 1:05 pm

eric76 wrote:
I drive because I have to, not because I want to. If I was wealthy, I'd hire a chauffeur to drive me around instead.

I've always wanted to live somewhere where I could get by without driving. There's the obvious big cities, but I'm not that fond of big cities.

Another would be some place like Avalon, California on Santa Cantalina Island -- you can easily get by walking or bicycling there.

I've read that on Maui in Hawaii, there is a town that still has posts on the streets to tie horses to for the residents who ride horses to town. It's along some highway that is so rough that the car rental companies ban you from taking their rental cars down that highway.


The problem is I get extremely anxious at best when driving down a busy street or freeway.

What prevents me from moving into the big cities? The cost of living, state income taxes, crime, or some combination of those three.

It's a catch-22 for me.


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thewhitrbbit
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18 Sep 2012, 1:11 pm

I think it will be very hard. Unless you live in an area where public transit is the norm like NYC.

Have you tried practicing in driving simulators to see if you can over come your fear?



eric76
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18 Sep 2012, 1:22 pm

One could get by without driving for the most part in a small town.

In the small town where my office is located, there are houses and apartments within three blocks of the bank, city hall, the park, the post office, the grocery store, the resale shop, and all three restaurants in the town. The public school is maybe four blocks away. You could get by fairly decently without a car. A few people around here drive golf carts, weather permitting.

There would be a problem for things like clothes. There are no clothing stores in town other than whatever the resale shop might sell. Also no liquor stores (only a small part of the county isn't dry), no movie theaters, and some other common amenities.

If you lived in town and made friends with people, you could probably find someone going to the next town over to ride with to buy clothes.



Taverson
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18 Sep 2012, 1:41 pm

thewhitrbbit wrote:
I think it will be very hard. Unless you live in an area where public transit is the norm like NYC.

Have you tried practicing in driving simulators to see if you can over come your fear?


The difference is there is nothing at risk in a simulator. So it doesn't frighten me whatsoever.

eric76 wrote:
One could get by without driving for the most part in a small town.

In the small town where my office is located, there are houses and apartments within three blocks of the bank, city hall, the park, the post office, the grocery store, the resale shop, and all three restaurants in the town. The public school is maybe four blocks away. You could get by fairly decently without a car. A few people around here drive golf carts, weather permitting.

There would be a problem for things like clothes. There are no clothing stores in town other than whatever the resale shop might sell. Also no liquor stores (only a small part of the county isn't dry), no movie theaters, and some other common amenities.

If you lived in town and made friends with people, you could probably find someone going to the next town over to ride with to buy clothes.


This is true. Another problem is that I'm hoping to be a technician for X-Rays or Anesthesia and most hospitals are either in expensive areas and/or spread out cities.


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Blammo
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18 Sep 2012, 9:37 pm

I conquered my fear of driving by simply accepting that one day I may die on the road. After that I felt safer and more relaxed. Don't know if this will help you though.

My main issue was that I couldn't control everyone on the road hence it was unpredictable mayhem. I just take care of my little car and hope people take care of theirs. I do my best to be aware of my surroundings while driving so I won't even look at my passenger throughout the journey if I have one.


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starryeyedvoyager
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19 Sep 2012, 3:31 am

I hate any kind of fast locomotion in general, and riding cars, trains and airplanes stresses me really out. I never bothered learning how to drive a car... it's just too fast for me, it overloads my senses, because my mind wants to process anything that happens around me. I usually do not tell people that at 26, I cannot drive a car. Not that I feel ashamed of it, by I think people judge you less as an equal adult if they think that you cannot even drive a car. Believe it or not, I do entertain the view that, since society sees driving cars more as a men's thing (consider the vast amount of female driver jokes), and men usually get away with having a huge obsession for their automobile, I think it is for the best to keep this "secret" to myself. After all, it is not that hard: I do not own a car, and friends that own one would never ask me - or anyone else - to drive theirs anyway.



wtfid2
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19 Sep 2012, 4:17 am

Taverson wrote:
MXH wrote:
women here will tell you its no big deal.

in reality most women would almost demand you have a car. Bunch of different reasons for it, but they say you need one anyways.


So basically, if romantic relationships were conducted here, not a problem. But in the real world, it takes a drastic suckerpunch at my chances of love?
noone wants anybody without a car. If a girl has no car I pass her up.


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JanuaryMan
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19 Sep 2012, 7:04 am

I have this problem as well and it has even left me not using bikes. I will get my lessons and pass when it is required of me, though.



eric76
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19 Sep 2012, 7:31 am

I have to admit that if I lived anywhere near this thing, I might give up driving for good:

Image