Birthday Party invitation, what to do....
I would ask what time he expects to cut the cake and open presents and just go for that part. The reason I suggest that is that you can tell her exactly what to expect and exactly what she needs to do. For my daughter, as long as she knows exactly what to expect and exactly what she is supposed to do, she does fine. "Running around in the back yard" is not something you can really prepare her for. (although I must admit my 6 y/o daughter went to a party like that this summer and it was the best party she has ever been to because she didn't need to worry about "doing the right thing." She kind of just did her "own thing" amongst the other kids. The difference was that many of other kids knew my daughter. I don't think it would have worked with strange kids).
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Mom to 2 exceptional atypical kids
Long BAP lineage
I never had problems just telling parents, "we would love to come but right now my son isn't handling parties very well, and I think the birthday child will have a better time if we keep him home. Maybe next year. And thanks, again, for thinking of us. It means a lot!"
I know it is a little more complicated when relatives are involved, but parties are for the birthday child, and most people do understand that different children handle them differently.
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
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