Missing things in social situations?

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Hi,

Over the past few years, I've been learning more and more that I actually miss/dont notice alot of things that happen in social situations.

For example, I could be out with a few friends, at a party etc. And I could miss some things - some seemingly obvious, others less so. For example, I could be having a conversation with people, they could have what I thought was a joke at the time, only to find out later that it was actually an arguement, or an exchange of words that lead onto an arguement.

Then there are other things that I'm not getting, for example I thought I was good with sarcasm, but I'm actually only good with it (I think good anyway!) when I'm actually being sarcastic, or some people who I am used to are. If a person I'm not sure of came up and was sarcastic in a social situation I might take offence.

Anyway, I'll leave it at that, I could go on but I don't want to make too much to read.

I guess I am just wondering if anyone can relate?

Why yes I can.
I can relate to all of that. Especially the thing about a joke actually being an argument. That seems to happen a lot.

Story of my life...

And then everything I missed is held against me.

I'm pretty sure even NT's feel that way some of the time.

When it comes to jokes and arguments, men are the worst. With females, it's pretty obvious because they can be downright vicious in an argument, but with men, they can have a debate and swing from "joking" to "serious" and back to "joking" within 30 seconds. I saw it one time at a dinner party down L.A. when I was younger. A group of men, stereotypical rich guy types, having a debate about European politics and it blew my mind! I thought my uncle was going to punch the guy, but instead he hugged him, laughed and then gave him a backhanded compliment.

Sometimes I also can miss the seriousness of a situation. I would get in trouble a lot for cracking jokes in those moments.

That's actually happened to me a few times. Although, at other times, I seem to get the joke.

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I don't think I've ever interpreted an argument as a joke, but I've interpreted not too serious things as arguments. And don't get me started on teasing...

I once thought I was good with sarcasm, until one day somebody basically said "no, you're not" and whether it was sarcasm or truth it told me that I actually wasn't.

What exactly is the point of teasing? It seems cruel to me.

I find it the other way, I usually misinterpret people joking as arguing.

I'm forever feeling that I'm missing something, but usually I don't know what it is.

I don't have experiences as explicit as those described above, just a subtle sense of always lagging behind, not quite grasping conversations etc.

For example I'm forever saying things like "sorry what?" or "huh?" when two or more people are talking around me. I think they think I don't hear, which is sometimes true, but often it's more that it just didn't make sense and I think that if they repeat what they said to each other or one more time I might twig what it is the 'group' is talking about. I frequently try this a few times if I'm just not catching on to the point or the tone of a conversation and if I still can't get it, I just give up and tag along silently instead and stop trying to understand. Consequently I have a reputation for being a bit dopey.

When I'm sarcastic, people don't get it. When they're sarcastic, I don't get it...

Two different brands I suppose...