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AlexMellott
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25 Sep 2012, 10:16 pm

I've done everything right and it seems like there's nobody out there for me. Maybe it's my AS, but I don't know. I know I'm only a junior in HS, but my first girlfriend was because she felt sorry for me.

What is true love? And when will I find someone for me?



Einfari
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25 Sep 2012, 10:25 pm

If you're a junior in high school, you have tons of time to meet someone. I didn't even go on my first date until I was your age. I even know NTs in their 20s who haven't dated yet. Dating can be harder for Aspies, especially in high school I am aware, but it doesn't make finding someone impossible. High schools are small, and you will meet tons of people in college and at work in the future. When you're in high school, I wouldn't really worry about dating. High school relationships hardly ever work, so focusing on school for now would be better for the time being. If you do happen to find someone, then that would be awesome. I just wouldn't prioritize dating because it will make you disappointed. Just go with life, and you might happen o find someone even when you aren't expecting to. You will get to meet tons of people in the near future.



Last edited by Einfari on 25 Sep 2012, 10:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

JanuaryMan
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25 Sep 2012, 10:25 pm

Have a snoop around WP, read some of the stories members share and you'll find many of us are late bloomers and didn't get in the zone til' a little later in life. Also in some cases, we had really good years and really bad years with no consistency. No one knows what the future holds, but try to look forward to it :) because anything good in your life is going to happen in the future, if not the present. Not the past.

Good luck with your love life, my friend.



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25 Sep 2012, 11:31 pm

AlexMellott wrote:
I've done everything right and it seems like there's nobody out there for me. Maybe it's my AS, but I don't know. I know I'm only a junior in HS, but my first girlfriend was because she felt sorry for me.

What is true love? And when will I find someone for me?


Focus on becoming absolutely self-sufficient and having your own fortune. You will often realize that hobbies and hedonism offer more than romantic relationships ever could.



Blammo
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26 Sep 2012, 12:34 pm

Junior high.... Jealous of you.. You still have so much time to find what you're looking for. Worry about securing a future for yourself financially. Along this road women will enter your life and one may stay.


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Your Aspie score: 121 of 200
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BlackDwarf
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26 Sep 2012, 8:16 pm

AlexMellott wrote:
I've done everything right and it seems like there's nobody out there for me. Maybe it's my AS, but I don't know. I know I'm only a junior in HS, but my first girlfriend was because she felt sorry for me.

What is true love? And when will I find someone for me?


single life is awesome. Enough said.



Wanderingronin42
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26 Sep 2012, 9:29 pm

Don't be in a rush. When you stop seeking, thats when you will find it.



Radiofixr
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27 Sep 2012, 8:02 am

Wanderingronin42 wrote:
Don't be in a rush. When you stop seeking, thats when you will find it.

Stopped seeking years ago-didn't find it.
Started seeking again -thought I found it but was hurt and hurt before when seeking it over the years.
Stopped again-still nothing.
Haven't rushed and now that days are numbered I may be rushing but I want to be able to understand before I am so old not to be able to understand.


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equestriatola
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27 Sep 2012, 2:45 pm

There is plenty of time for you; do not rush the whole sitch. That's all I can say.


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aspiemike
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27 Sep 2012, 3:45 pm

At such a young age, I remember a lot of people around me were pretty timid, as was I. I also found that many people were scared of being rushed into things as well. People just want to enjoy themselves. Enjoy yourself and let the opportunities present themselves.



DogsWithoutHorses
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27 Sep 2012, 4:35 pm

I didn't really date till senior year (and I'm a girl so everything it totally handed to me right?)
work on being good academically, develop interests with a social element (school clubs or maybe even a sport for a fitness boost), and make sure you're clean and presentable at school - these things will all make your life better regardless if you're dating asa well as make you more "dateable"

In regards to "doing everything right" there is no sequence of moves, no collection of behaviors or actions that will make you deserve a relationship or sex. A relationship is a gift people chose to give eachother, not something you earn.


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WantToHaveALife
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28 Sep 2012, 1:10 am

AlexMellott wrote:
I've done everything right and it seems like there's nobody out there for me. Maybe it's my AS, but I don't know. I know I'm only a junior in HS, but my first girlfriend was because she felt sorry for me.

What is true love? And when will I find someone for me?


there are people over 21 and still single, never dated, i'm one of them unfortuneately



GiantHockeyFan
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28 Sep 2012, 6:47 am

I'm 29 and I'm only going on the second date of my life on Saturday. On the plus side, the girl is much more nervous than I do it will be awkward for both of us. I had no interest in dating at your age because 99% of the girls were 'in love for life' with a new guy every week. It was just so silly to watch: I can only think of one legitimate couple in high school and even they eventually parted ways. I didn't see the point (and still don't) of having a girlfriend I knew wouldn't last and many people made themselves miserable just so they could say they had someone.

Since this is a family friendly forum, lets just say while I've always been interested in girls since I was in grade 1 and have always been sure of my sexual orientation, I was a VERY late bloomer!



WantToHaveALife
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28 Sep 2012, 3:46 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I'm 29 and I'm only going on the second date of my life on Saturday. On the plus side, the girl is much more nervous than I do it will be awkward for both of us. I had no interest in dating at your age because 99% of the girls were 'in love for life' with a new guy every week. It was just so silly to watch: I can only think of one legitimate couple in high school and even they eventually parted ways. I didn't see the point (and still don't) of having a girlfriend I knew wouldn't last and many people made themselves miserable just so they could say they had someone.

Since this is a family friendly forum, lets just say while I've always been interested in girls since I was in grade 1 and have always been sure of my sexual orientation, I was a VERY late bloomer!


i've wanted a girlfriend since i was 14, 8th grade