Toddlers and Babies who don't want to get hugged

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Mayel
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30 Sep 2012, 11:26 am

When I was younger I did not want b cuddled or get hugged or get kissed and would fight it (literally).
Is that common with AS-toddlers/babies?
And even if it isn't, anybody know why that would be like that?

Have you behaved similarly?

(P.D. To this day, I don't like to act cuddly or be cuddled.)


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Last edited by Mayel on 30 Sep 2012, 12:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TheTigress
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30 Sep 2012, 11:52 am

I definitely acted that way at that age and am still that way. The only person I'm super affectionate to is my best friend, and she is one of my special interests. (for better or for worse)



Raziel
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30 Sep 2012, 12:29 pm

That's propably because of sensury issues.


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Mayel
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30 Sep 2012, 3:28 pm

Thanks for your replies.
Anybody else?


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xsolar47
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30 Sep 2012, 6:02 pm

Yes, I avoid being hugged. My relatives get a chuckle out of it.

In church when I did go, they would shake hands and hold hands at various parts of the service. I found that to be extremely nerve wracking. I believe that one of the reasons why I no longer go is because of the inclusion of those forms of forced social interaction.



MaKin
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30 Sep 2012, 7:07 pm

i don't recall much of my first few years, however, my family never were "a huggy, touchy, feely" type of family. i can't actually remember a time where i needed to be hugged by my parents.

my son had tactile issues even in the womb. if i or my child's father touched my belly where his head or feet were, my child would shift position. after he was born, it became clear immediately that he did not like to have his head, nor his feet, nor his hands touched.



emimeni
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30 Sep 2012, 7:29 pm

It's probably because of the near-universal sensory processing disorder that goes along with autism.

If anything, I'm tactile hyposensitive, not hypersensitive. I like hugging, being cuddled, holding hands, etc. but I also have social boundaries---I wouldn't, for example, go up and hug a total stranger. I also have a high threshold for pain. I didn't have much of a reaction to pain until years after I realized that was normal.


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AScomposer13413
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30 Sep 2012, 7:45 pm

I was the exact opposite. I LOVED to be hugged and I still am that way today - provided I'm the one who executes it. Otherwise you'll be lucky to get any interaction from me :?


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League_Girl
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30 Sep 2012, 8:02 pm

According to my mother, I loved being held and touched. But yet I didn't like other people touching me. Maybe it was the way they did it. I also didn't like being hugged by anyone.


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Raziel
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01 Oct 2012, 1:53 am

emimeni wrote:
It's probably because of the near-universal sensory processing disorder that goes along with autism.


yes, exactly.
You even can explain a lot of autistic behaviour with the sensory processing disorder.


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lonelyguy
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01 Oct 2012, 7:11 am

I could not stand being touched when i was young ,i would go completly rigid with fear and would rub my clothes after anyone touched me, i am still like this today,even putting a hand on my skin gives me the shivers..i avoid all touching as it makes me feel strange and uncomfortable,although i was OK with my mother but only her.
Funny though i love to cuddle animals..maybe because they are not looking for a responce..also never sung a word in my life or ever tried to dance....is anyone like that or only me? weird really :( I always feel akward with the normal things in life.



limping2victory
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01 Oct 2012, 12:40 pm

I never knew this (I didn't remember) but when I was a kid I didn't like to be hugged, and when I was a baby I didn't liked to be rocked either.

Now... hugging is okay, but it's best when I'm in the mood for it (not frustrated, impatient or otherwise stressed).



MakaylaTheAspie
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01 Oct 2012, 12:55 pm

I am a hugger who does not like to be hugged. Does that make sense? :?


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Theuniverseman
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01 Oct 2012, 1:14 pm

Actually it makes perfect sense, you are the one who is deciding to hug, being hugged is passive on your part but I know exactly how you feel, I hate it when my kids jump on me or my little four year old wants to brush my hair it drives me nuts, its really cute and all but thats the downside of letting my hair grow long but I would rather have my daughter brush my hair than have a stranger cut my hair.


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KnarlyDUDE09
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01 Oct 2012, 1:24 pm

At my ASD assessment where they took developmental history, without prompting or being asked about my old habits, my mum said I was like that when I was little. Also, my older brother randomly said that I've never liked hugs...I don't know if it's an ASD thing, but it could be related- why, I don't know.


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lady_katie
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01 Oct 2012, 1:31 pm

My son is 14 months old, and from birth he refused to be held. We would have to put him in his bouncy chair or swing in order to get him to calm down. My mother in law could not understand this and whenever we visited she would try to force my son to be held, and he would cry and cry until she finally gave up and put him down. Eventually (months later) she came to terms with it and agreed that he's simply not like the other babies that she's been around and put him in his chair where he obviously felt more comfortable. Now that he's older and walking on his own, he will come over and give us hugs, but only on his terms. If we try to hug him longer than he's willing, he'll throw a fit and wiggle out of our arms.

He is showing other early signs of autism such as hand/arm flapping, spinning, lack of separation/stranger anxiety, obsession with parts of objects, repetitive behaviors and vocalizations, speech delay and soothing with objects. Considering that both my husband and I have AS (in the process of being diagnosed, but professionals seem to be in agreement so far), I would be surprised to find out that he's not on the spectrum at this point. He's starting the assessment process tomorrow morning.