I tend to correct people (grammar etc.) Is this AS related?

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omid
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06 Oct 2012, 12:13 pm

Hi,

This is a huge problem of mine. I tend to correct people (not strangers but rather my family members) when they say something wrong (particularly with German grammar or pronunciation).
My mom is not that good at German and she once cried because I corrected her. Her German is kind of like her Achilles heel.
It's not like I want to say “I'm better at German than you” or whatever. It's rather like “OMG WRONG WRONG WRONG it's like PAIN IN MY EARS I don't want it to happen EVER again” or maybe not even that. I totally can't keep myself from doing this.
It's maybe rather like a tic. I don't ever recognize doing so before it's too late. And I cant keep myself from doing so.
Can this be Asperger's related?

Thanks for reading
Omid


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Jaden
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06 Oct 2012, 1:20 pm

I've heard that it's a symptom, but I think it really depends on other things too, like, it's not necessarily AS but it could be a contributing factor.

I probably do it to a degree myself, although at times, I just don't notice.


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Curiotical
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06 Oct 2012, 1:37 pm

Constantly correcting people is definitely related to AS. I often correct people's grammar and factually inaccurate comments. Many Aspies that I've met also do this.


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06 Oct 2012, 1:37 pm

Doubt it. It's really common, especially over the internet. (I think "grammar Nazi" is a thing, right?) I know a guy, he majored in English in college, who gets really worked-up and angry when he hears the words "irregardless" and "panties".



peterd
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06 Oct 2012, 1:48 pm

The guy in the post above - he shows no other autistic characteristics?

Yes, the thoughtless correcting thing is characteristic of high functioning autism. Practice not doing it - NTs find it impossibly irritating.



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06 Oct 2012, 2:05 pm

I do it too. I have corrected the spelling and grammar of my bosses when they write something improperly several times, and they find it quite irritating. I try not to do it as often now, but it still inevitably happens from time to time.


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Kairi96
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06 Oct 2012, 2:17 pm

Well, I do it to, but I don't think it's related to AS. A lot of other people do it, and they haven't necessarily got Asperger's.


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06 Oct 2012, 2:19 pm

I've been training myself not to do this for years but it still takes incredible effort. Perhaps the most politically correct way to express this phenomenon is that it is a very common trait in people with AS, so much so that it is commonly associated with AS. Of course this trait is not strictly limited to people on the spectrum and NTs might do it as well, but it's FAR less common in the general population than for us aspies, and our doing it so commonly does seem to be related to our AS.

I like how you express how it "hurts" your ears to hear these mistakes. I feel the same way. However, it doesn't sound that way to NTs. It sounds like we're trying to show off how smart we are, or make the other person feel bad for making mistakes. Even if we explain that we don't mean it that way, that doesn't change how it feels for them. One of my closest friends regularly gets annoyed at me for being "pedantic" because I try to help him with his grammar (he's an English teacher after all) or his Czech (he's been living in the country for twice as long as me and can hardly speak a word). In my mind, I'm trying to help him, as well as myself because it annoys me to hear these mistakes repeated over and over again. In his mind, grammar is not an easy thing to deal with and remember, and I'm criticizing him for not being perfect.

It's probably similar to how we get criticized for not looking someone in the eye, or for talking too much, etc. For them it's really easy, but for us it's really difficult. They criticize us because it seems we're either intentionally doing something uncomfortable for them, or else we're too lazy to try to fix it. In reality, it's really hard for us and it can be devastating to work so hard at something and still get such a negative reaction. Try to think of it this way when you hear these mistakes, and it might help you be more patient in the future.



emimeni
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06 Oct 2012, 2:41 pm

I used to correct grammar or spelling when I was a frequent participant of a chatroom geared toward those with physical disabilities. It kind of hurt my eyes. When it was pointed out that it often embarrassed people, I stopped.

I know others will have a harder time than me, but I think a lot of people can stop it, or at least, reduce it significantly.


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btbnnyr
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06 Oct 2012, 2:53 pm

I don't keeer abooot smelling and grappar, so itz purrrty annoying when others are so caught up in itz.



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06 Oct 2012, 2:54 pm

I believe it could be; my mum said that when the clinician interviewed her, he for some reason asked her whether I correct people with speech...she of course said "YES!- All the time!" I think it's to do with overly formal and noticing small details that others don't.


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chris5000
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06 Oct 2012, 5:15 pm

I have pretty crappy grammar when I talk so I try not to say anything.



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06 Oct 2012, 7:10 pm

I tend to correct my husband. I mostly do it in my head when I hear people use it. One time I accidentally corrected my boss. I said it without thinking but luckily he didn't get mad. Online, I don't correct anyone. Just imagine how much time I be wasting if I was correcting everyone's grammar and spelling? That would also tick lot of people off. Lot of people just don't care how they write because they are not in school they say. They say this isn't English class. To me it's just laziness.


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06 Oct 2012, 8:22 pm

I don't really do this, but I can tell right away when someone uses grammar incorrectly, but I don't call them on it. My dad (who might have some AS traits) will, though.


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06 Oct 2012, 9:23 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
I don't keeer abooot smelling and grappar, so itz purrrty annoying when others are so caught up in itz.


I'm still trying to figure your ocassional word/spelling spins.. Is it a grammar stim?



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06 Oct 2012, 11:21 pm

In my personal opinion, I believe correcting people on small things such as grammar has something to do with Asperger's. That's a typical trait (being formal or attention to detail), isn't it?

I tend to feel the urge to correct people's grammar, too. The initiator's expression "pain in my ears" makes me laugh. That's so true. But I refrain from doing so because:

1. I did it a few times before and it seemed they took it as me trying to show off or being pedantic.
2. I'm a foreigner and English is my second language, which probably means my English is not perfect.
3. It's kind of fun to let people keep making the same grammatical mistakes (not friends, but colleagues etc).
4. I just want to avoid embarrassment on both sides.

I guess when you feel the urge to correct people, just think about the consequences of doing so. It might make you hesitate.