Platonic Female Friend

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Hi Everyone!

This is my first time posting at WP but it seems like a great site!

To start off I'm 25 year old guy. I'm about to graduate university in the spring. Well there is this girl (19 years old and recently started university) at work that I've become inerested in. I think she likes me too because she is always giggling and stuff when she talks to me. She and I will be at a party that we were both invited to this weekend. While I want to ask her out on a date I have way too much going on at this point for a relationship. So I thought maybe there would be a way to just keep it platonic. Is this possible? As of next month she and I won't be working at the same place any more so if feel as if I don't ask her to hang out now I'll lose what could turn into a friendship since I won't see her anymore. I'm really trying to put myself out there more and am having some success at making friends.

So I have two questions: Am I too old for her even if we were to be just friends? And would it be possible to hang out with her without sending mixed messages?

Feel free to leave me a message here or PM me.

Any thoughts? Thanks!

Age is but a number - I say go for it.

Whether you want to keep it at friendship or something more is your decision; but it's a bad idea to let the existing relationships disappear.

We only get relationships like these once in a lifetime ( Not literal) Make it count!

I've numbered your questiosn/comments so that I can respond to them clearly.

1) It's way possible to have just a platonic relationship with the opposite sex. They can be a bit awkward though if one person secretly fancies the other.

2) Good job putting yourself out there. Because time is limited you should probably suggest you go on a mate-date or hang out.

3) You are not too old to be friends. Unlike romantic relationships, there is nothing weird about having friends that a lot older than you. When I was 19 I had a friend in her 40s. I'm in my 30s now and she's in her 60s and we still get on great.

I didn't think the age factor was a big deal either since we get along well. In the past I would have just let the friendship end cause we wouldn't see eachother anymore. I'm realizing now that if I do that it's going to be hard to make and keep firends.

Thanks for the reply! I guess what I'm struggling with is how do I ask her to hang out and still keep things platonic? If I ask her to go to the movies or mall with me maybe she'll think it's a date. Anyonje have any ideas?

Going to see a movie is cool. Friends do that all the time. You could be casual about it and just say "I'm going to see (insert film here), do you want to come see it?"

And if she asks “who else is coming?”, she obviously doesn't want a relationship.

If the two of you are going to be at the same party, then maybe suggest that you ride there together?

I think maybe that'd come off as bit less date-ish than asking her to go alone with you to somewhere she wasn't already going. Then, if that works, she'll start thinking of you as someone she goes and does stuff with, rather than someone she sees around. And those are the kind of work-friends that stay in touch even after they're no longer working together.

From that point forward, asking her to do stuff should be less awkward and less likely to come across as romantically motivated. Still, be prepared for her to take it that way anyway. Many girls are so accustomed to being hit on that they misinterpret friendly gestures as romantic ones.

Actually I suggested that I'd pick her up for the party. And she agreed and wass happy about it. She is planning to drink a lot so she didn't want to drive. I can't drink too much since I gotta study for an exam tomorrow. It didn't work out that I could pick her up so I'm driving her home instead. She even offered to let me stay at her house for the night if I wasn't in shape to drive. I guess that's a good idication that she wants to be friends or more.

certainly sounds like it. Let us know how things go?

The party went great! We both had a great time. She was hitting on me all night. In the past I probably wouldn't have noticed if a girl was hitting on me but I know enough now to know when a girl is interested. She was texting me radom things all night at the party. When it was time to go she said that she was hungry so we went out for a late night dinner. I knew that she wasn't hungry cause we both ate well at the party and that it was just an excuse to hang out with me longer. We both barley ate anything at the restaurant. She kept reminding me that I could have more to drink and we could cab it back to her house but I had to be in good shape for today (busy day). When I dropped her off I hugged her. Maybe I should have given her a kiss? We texted today quite a bit. So I guess she's probably waiting for me to ask her out on a date so I'll do that this week.

Any suggestions for a first date?

Well done!

Dates, dates... Let's see...

Movies are always a possibility, something just about everyone likes to do. Then again, it's not the most original date idea. Besides which, better to go somewhere you can actually talk to each other. Save that for those times when you wanna see her, but can't think of other stuff to do.

Dinner's good. Sure, it's not original either (though you can make it more so with an interesting choice of restaurant), but it gives you plenty of opportunity to talk. Plus there's something about sharing meals with people that makes you feel closer to them.

Any small music venues near you? Lots of bars and clubs have live music on the weekends. Or, if you're not into the whole bar scene, some coffee shops do as well.

One little trick a friend taught me a few years back that's worked brilliantly. While you're out with her find some small errand or chore you need to do, and do it with her there. Something small, that won't be a hassle, something along the lines of "Hey, you mind if we stop at the grocery store for a minute? I need to pick up some dog food before I go home." Do that kind of thing a few times and there's a subtle shift in how she thinks of you. Rather than thinking of you as someone she has fun with, she starts thinking of you as someone whose day to day life she is involved in. Of course that's only a good idea if that's how you want her to think of you.

Good luck.

Unless it's 18 or less, then it's statutory. LOL JK