When you can't be bothered to respond

Post Reply New Topic

I have the bad habit of simply not responding when someone is talking to me. I might hear what they're saying just fine, but I might not want to expend the energy to respond to them, or I see no need to. I often do this when I'm busy working on something. No idea if this is associated with anything ASD-related or if it's just me, so I thought I'd ask for the sake of curiosity.

I do this all the time but usually it's because I don't feel the need to respond. I have nothing useful to say therefore I don't say anything.

I do this when strangers start talking to me and I say nothing. Even when they ask me questions, I am speechless. I never feel like talking and then someone starts talking to me.

I always try be polite, but I am unable to control my tendency to switch off mid-discussion; it happens all the time. Its what they call the aspie stare I believe. Basically, they realise quickly if I am not interested. I really don't want to offend people but I am afraid I do.

The other thing I do is talk to myself constantly.

I have much better hearing than people realize and have heard people say things about me that they don't think I can possibly hear. Some of the things I've heard were quite disturbing misconceptions of me.

My reaction is to completely ignore them. I figure that if they are going to believe whatever misconceptions they may have, then they are not likely to believe me when I say that the misconceptions are wrong. Also, I know from past experience is that if I get upset about the misconception, I am more likely to say really stupid things that do noone any good. It took me forever to finally understand that, but now that I do, I try to just keep my mouth closed.

And there have been times when I thought someone was talking about me but they were actually talking about someone else. So when I tried to "correct" what they were saying about me, they were caught completely by surprise.

I frequently give myself verbal directions when noone else is around.

For example, while driving I tell myself to stop at the stop sign, slow down, speed up, turn left, turn right, ... .

If someone bugged the kitchen when I was cooking and noone else was around, they might think I'm doing a live cooking show.

Glad to know I am not alone. Trouble is I don't generally notice that other people are around ...

This sounds like the old me. On medication I can speak more and when not on it I may not want to speak because I can't think of what to say and often slur my words. I have a lot of speech difficulties, including getting stuck and forgetting what I was talking about.

I had really severe select mutism growing up so I never talked to people. I recovered slowly on my own but I still couldn't say much, because I didn't know what to say.

There are still times when I don't know how to respond. Face to face interaction in a different environment is the worst.

I remember when I felt I didn't need to respond. Now I have this voice telling me 'it's polite.' Polite but exhausting and embarrassing when I mess my words up.

I do this quite a bit. I'm usually good at the beginning of a conversation, but there comes a point at which I've completely run out of things to say on the matter at hand. At that point, I usually nod and pretend to keep listening, but since I have nothing left to say on the matter, I'm usually not. Generally, I just wait for the other person to either notice or, also, run out of things to say, and I change the subject.

If I'm concentrating on something else trying to talk to me is completely useless. There have been times that my husband has tried to talk to me while I'm reading or something, and I can hear the noise of him talking, but it is absolutely incoherent to me.

I have a hard time too responding to people. It seems a big effort sometimes to respond to people, it’s like lifting something heavy. When people talk to me, I am like “What, what, what! What do you want? Can’t you see I am in my own little world? I can’t be bothered by you now.” This is only inner dialogue of course.

- Drawing on my fine command of the English Language, I said nothing.

^^^This for me too--especially the "lifting something heavy" part.

I take the 5th

That happens to me, too. It's like my brain doesn't think to tell my body to respond.

hahah I do this all the time I feel like such an ass, but it just feel like it takes so much energy to explain things.

minimal prompts. very helpful. they are the cards you play in a game of conversation.

*nods. mhm. oh i see. thats no good. well. mhm. nods. thats the truth.*

on the phone with my family, they say 'are you still there?' or 'you seem tired/sad today.' the phone im sure is easier though because if it is me making the call i can have a short list of things to discuss.