am i the biggest ass or what?

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Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 98

31 Oct 2012, 5:42 pm

I do not want sympathy for this post. I just wanted to get this off my chest.
I have a best friend N. She has always been there for me. I have a horrible quality that I can find fault with anyone very soon.Well let us not go on tangents.

I realized that I have never felt anything. I always learned how to deal with people with a feedback loop. Many times I would have been shouted at for my callousness. So I have a list of stuff for which I have had negative feedback and the next time I encounter a similar situation, I react according to what I have learned. This hit me now when N pointed out to me that I totally shut her off when her dad passed away with cancer. I was never there for her because I did not know what to do. That is not an excuse. But i feel horrible for blaming her for using me and so on when I was the one who did not come through for her.

I am too rigid and it took me 3 effing years for me to realize and ask her this. I apologized profusely. But still maybe I was the one who sabotaged everything with everyone and people were not leaving me.

AQ- 37/EQ : 15/SQ : 44/ BAP : Autistic/BAP (120 aloof, 104 rigid and 92 pragmatic)
Aspie Quiz: Aspie :130/200;NT score: 72/200;You are very likely an Aspie. Alexithymia test :135

Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

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Joined: 12 Aug 2012
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 191

31 Oct 2012, 6:21 pm

I don't think you're an ass. If you didn't know what to say to comfort your friend, then it's understandable that you behaved the way you did.


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Joined: 8 Jun 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 711

01 Nov 2012, 9:51 am

Its an excuse, maybe just not a great one. I don't think you're an ass either, or you wouldn't have apologized the way you did. Death is tricky.. makes people emotional, sometimes selfish for attention. Best you can do if there's a next time.. is just say i'm sorry your dad passed and maybe listen if they need it.