Possibly ADHD?

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I know that nobody can diagnose anybody here. So that's not the purpose of this post. I'm seeking some advice if you have ADD yourself, you may have some tips and even if you don't you might have a tip or a guess.

I have a cousin who may or may not have ADD. But even if it isn't ADD, his behavior is akin to ADD-behavior (at least from what I know).

My cousin is 16 and his major problem is that his grades are slipping, he is failing subjects, he already had a problem getting from Middle School to High School because his grades became so bad. And his school performance wasn't always like this. Back in the days, he may have not studied alot but he still was acing alot of subjects and in the subjects where he didn't, his parents could make him sit at the table and they studied together.
The only way you could make him do his homework or study was, sitting with him at the table and being watchful. And it stayed like this until today. The difference with the current situation and the one before is, that he is much more independent now. He barely is at home, he goes out all the time. At first, his parents tried to ground him, tried to forbid him going out as much but it didn't work. Now they may tell him to please stay at home but they know he most certainly won't follow through. He is very defiant now. He doesn't follow any rules anymore.
To go out, he would lie and he still does.
Apart from all this, his behavior makes him forget a lot of things like his homework, books or his schedule. He also misses important appointments, e.g. once his siblings wanted to go and buy a present for his mother's birthday together, so they made an appointment with him. He came 5 hours later and he didn't say a thing, they were all worried about him. Stuff like this happens all the time.

What does he like to do? When he's home he listens to music and watches TV or movies, plays games and excercises. Most of the time he goes out with friends, I don't know what they do.
He also has to go to the grocery store and buy things when needed, sometimes he deviates and goes somewhere else and comes home, after hours. He likes to ride his bike when going to the grocery store, sometimes he would ride his bike for a few extra blocks on high speed just to feel the adrenaline rushing (that's what he told me "you should try it, too. The feeling of adrenaline is great.").
He took a job and his boss already reported that he would show up late, often and sometimes he would tell his parents that he had to work on this day, when in fact, he didn`t. He doesn't save a penny and spends all on clothes.
Once on new years eve (he didn't drink anything), he took a shelf that stood outside a store and ran away with it for a few blocks. Just because,....not because he wanted to steal something.
When you try to talk to him and he sits, he fidgets alot. I tried to help him with his homework, help him focus....he would look as if he wasn't concentrating (but I think he did, he was just moving alot). He can barely do any work that needs constant mental focus like reading a book without someone watching him.

His parents already told him that if he would like to continue this kind of life style, he should study in order to get a decent job with a decent wage. But it seems as if he doesn't listen. Or he does and says that everybody is pressuring him too much, that he'd do all of that if they just would stop pressuring him. But even if nobody tells him to do anything, his behavior doesn't change in the slightest.

So at the moment his family fears that he might not finish high school and impregnate his gf or do something else in the same vein.

Has anybody got any advice?

P.D.: Sometimes I feel as if he is just transposing his behavior when he was a child to adolescence. He has better and more means now. When we were children, he would be the first go out and play and he would be last to get tired. While everybody was tired and in need of rest, he still would urge everybody to go out and play after sundown.

He sounds like a teenager that is self-absorbed and taking no one else into account (typical teenager behaviour for some). It seems that every time someone knows a trouble child they automatically slap the ADD/ADHD label on them. There are a lot of ADD/ ADHD kids out there who are well behaved but are just a bit hyper and/or might seem a bit scatterbrained. I am not saying he does not have ADHD, btw. Not at all. Just that troubled teenager behaviour exists with and without the presence of the disorder.

The added activity level as a child AND his impulsivity, however, COULD be signs of ADHD, but other things needs to be taken into account as well.

Thank you. That's a well balanced answer.
I agree that it could be just difficult teenage behavior but he always needed somebody to supervise him for studying and doing homework, and he always craved for activities and excitement. It's much more intensified and amplified now. But then again, I might be wrong.

But apart from ADHD/ADD....one of my primary concerns is, how can anybody help? He did want to go to college and study but if he keeps behaving like this, he won't. His parents are really concerned about what will happen, they are without a plan at all and don't know what to do nor what will come. Neither do I. I always told him to find something he's interested in, and really good at. Maybe he hasn't found it yet. I don't know.

I also do know other people who were troubled teenagers with serious problems. I never thought they had ADHD/ADD. My cousin on the other hand, I know him since the day he was born, and I've spent days, even several weeks at his home with his parents and siblings. So I could observe his behavior throughout the years and from day to night.

There are reasons to suspect that he could have it. His parents should take him for a diagnosis. If he DOES have it, then they can learn how to work with him from an ADHD perspective (or get help from someone who does). Universities are also very open to accommodating people with ADHD providing they have documentation to prove their diagnosis. These helps can range from notetakers (when unable to pay attention in class) to extra time on exams (for when their minds keep wandering onto other things). They can also provide him with tutors (maybe his high school can too, if he gets diagnosed) that know how to help people with ADHD become more successful with school work. What was the supervision for exactly when doing his homework? I know you said he is always fidgeting, but is it all possible he might seem out of focus because he doesn't understand the material? He might have a learning disability as well (and that can cause troubled teenager behaviour when gone undiagnosed). If his parents are concerned, they should definitely take him to be seen sooner, rather than later.

Well, either his parents or a sibling were sitting by him at the table or a desk and either actively telling him what to do or they were just sitting there to check he was working, or....it depends on the homework and the subject. I remember when I was helping him to study for history, we were reading page by page (of a given section) and after every break, I would ask him the meaning of the text piece he just had read and he did understand it unless there were words or facts he didn't know (but he already went through the same passage with his father so it was a repetition for him). He wasn't sitting still though, he would always be playing with a pen, paper, move alot, not look focused at all. But I didn't care, I sensed he knew and understood what he was doing. Nonetheless, he was forced to study, when he has to read a book or even long texts, he's highly averse to it and when he sees me reading a book he's almost in awe.
He makes alot of typos, he writes like words sound. And I remember another time where his father tried to teach him how to take notes because he needed to in some classes and he had a great difficulty to do that. He didn't know how to shorten words or sentences. Until this day, his notebooks are pretty empty in that regard.

Anyway, that is an interesting thought. I will pass that on.

It sounds like there might be a bit of a learning disability mixed in there (in terms of his spelling and notetaking abilities). It might not be anything serious, but added with a low attention span it could be just enough to make school feel very difficult for him.