My new therapist is ridiculously hot (again)

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roccoslife
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07 Nov 2012, 1:29 pm

So i started my new course of CBT today, before it started I was praying that this time my therapist would be either a man or at least an old unattractive woman (wasnt sure what gender they were to begin with as the appointment letter said their name was sam, which is a unisex name). Of course with my luck this wasnt the case, after waiting in the seating area for 10 minutes or so in walked a stunningly beautiful early 20 something blond with huge blue eyes and the nicest smile I ever saw. This would be awesome if I didnt then have to spend 90 minutes telling her every f****d up thing about myself, from my past problems with OCD to my current problem of social anxiety/agoraphobia. She was so hot in fact that i found myself not being able to be fully open with her about the full extent of my problems, I just know this isnt going to end well.

This isnt the first time this has happened to me, my last therapist was really cute too, but more in a sexy teacher/milf way. I seem to have the worst (or best depending on how you see the situation) luck with therapists. Im now faced with 2 options, I either call her up and explain to her that I think Id be better off seeing another therapist, maybe even explain why (not sure how she would take that) or I see it through and hope that by seeing her I can kill two birds with one stone as it were, my problems with social anxiety and my problems with talking to women I find attractive.

What would you guys do?


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Stargazer43
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07 Nov 2012, 1:48 pm

Since you mentioned that you do find it difficult to talk to women you find attractive, I would say by all means stick with it. It will allow you all the practice you want in a nonthreatening setting. I would almost suggest you explain everything to her as you have on here, but I'm on the fence as to whether that's a good idea, as it might make her feel uncomfortable also. Either way though, in that setting her attractiveness shouldn't matter. Hot 25yr old blonde or 80yr old obese man with dentures...they're there for the same purpose, and should be able to fill the role equally well!

I can relate though, as my last therapist was pretty attractive as well, about the same age as myself. It did take a bit of courage to open up fully, just because in that sort of setting it almost feels more like talking to one of my peers than to a therapist. However once I did I was thankful for it, because it ended up being very helpful. Being of similar age and personality, she was able to offer unique inputs on my social situation that someone outside that range might not be able to offer.



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07 Nov 2012, 2:03 pm

Meh after a few sessions those feelings should likely go away.



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07 Nov 2012, 2:16 pm

just quit without informing her
and start going to another therapist


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07 Nov 2012, 2:21 pm

I'm sure she would prescribe you a swarm of high-dosed antidepressants to destroy your sex drive to make you stop perving over her everytime you see her if she was a psychiatrist instead of a therapist. /joke



1000Knives
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07 Nov 2012, 2:39 pm

Go on with life. Then again, I pretty much go "Yeah, she's hot, no, she doesn't wanna bone me" and get on with life. Then again, I was very rarely in therapy of my own accord, I was always being forced by school/parents/state to go, so that clouds my perspective a bit. I was never really expecting "help" from them in the first place. I usually find most therapists/psychs to have personalities that are grating towards mine, too, so that's probably why even if they're physically "hot" any feelings toward them kinda gets ruined by their not nice personalities. At a place I go to, I notice one of the intern therapists a tad older than me (maybe 23-25?) constantly stares at me and like, looks away when I walk by, so even though I'm bad at those nonverbal cues, I'm learning that usually means girls like me. Or maybe it doesn't, who knows.

But yeah, you pretty much gotta ignore the hotness. I've had some gorgeous ones, too. Of mine, the most gorgeous one was oddly the most helpful and understanding of all the ones I've seen. Not that gorgeousness is any measure of how good a therapist will be, though.

Of course if you want, you could always just tell her, or her supervisor that she's too attractive for you to open up to. Probably supervisor would be easier. If you tell her directly, she might say how you feel is fine, and then the next session get you a different therapist. The other thing she could do is go "OH WOW! THIS IS SO EXCITING" and then psychoanalyze you forever about why you feel that way, and then you'll get into a big issue of avoidancy and your dealings with the opposite sex and it'd be an even bigger shitstorm of interrogation, erm, "therapy." Going off that, it's possible she may even try to get into a relationship with you to "fix" you or whatever. Lots of psychs and therapists end up in relationships with clients. Nowadays it's not as prevalent, but I remember reading statistics from the 80s or 90s that something like 10% of all therapists admit to having sex with their clients. http://www.nytimes.com/1990/12/20/healt ... t-sex.html Here's an article about it. So those are the extreme scenarios there.

Anyway, don't worry about it too much. If I were you, well, I'd not be going to therapy at all, but if I were you, just realize it's a professional relationship and she's paid to listen to your problems. Hot or not.



blackelk
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07 Nov 2012, 2:51 pm

I think it is much harder to open up to an attractive woman. You don't want to feel vulnerable or look stupid. I also prefer a male therapist.


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13 Jan 2022, 8:37 pm

I wouldn't mind a nice lady therapist..... :chin: now that I think about. I could have seen one at one point, but, woman or male? It's kinda dilemma there, some say if you're serious, a male, cause he can identify with you, others have said female are judgmental, or you might be able to open up to them,cause of the gender tension....It might be hard to be forthcoming with a woman, I don't know....It's a different dynamic. :-? :|


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16 Jan 2022, 8:16 pm

I've at times been speech-bound when interacting with women I find attractive.
The approach I tried with some success was to spend as much time with attractive women as possible. After a while it's clear they are humans too with their own issues and problems.
When I studied the subject I realized that a lot of my own reactions were conditioned by society and the mass media in all its forms.
I've detuned myself enough now that physical attraction is not a controlling thing for me anymore.
If I were you I would not continue with a therapist that was causing me to focus on HER (even if that's not what she intends...) as it will interfere with YOUR therapy for YOU!
I hope this is in some way of interest to you and it's helpful.



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16 Jan 2022, 8:24 pm

UsedHardPutAwayWet wrote:
I've at times been speech-bound when interacting with women I find attractive.


So beautiful they were breathtaking?


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