Meltdown vs Shutdown

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That's how it is for me. Shutdown mode is my "safe mode," and I go there when I feel a threat is impossible to address or when I have urges toward extreme aggression. If I let myself "melt down" long enough, I think I'd become psychotic and start hurting people. When I feel threatened I get confused and start to perceive everything around me as a threat, and violent impulses soon follow. Sometimes I'll find a "safe place" or object that I can use as protection, and just act like a 5-year-old with a security blanket, but mostly if things get bad I have to go catatonic to protect myself and others.

I've had 2, maybe 3 meltdowns as a small child. I voted Shutdowns only however, as that is all I have ever experienced with regularity.

I can shutdown from illogical nonsense, excessive emotional drama (see illogical nonsense), and from sensory issues... often a combination of two or more and it's severe enough that I go despondent for a while.

I experience both meltdowns and shutdowns. The come together: most of the times, as soon as a meltdown passes, I have a shutdown. I rarely experience meltdowns without a shutdown after it. But I can experience shutdowns without meltdowns.

I have both meltdowns and shutdowns, but rather than "rage meltdowns" I usually have "depressive meltdowns".

Its the same complete loss of control, but focuses much more on upset than anger. Uncontrollable sobbing, ranting about how I'm worthless, screaming about how nobody loves me and how nobody should love me because I'm worth nothing and just ruin everything for everyone (and in fact acknowledging that this partially justified because of meltdowns, though I'd find another justification).

I've had the rage meltdowns before too, but the depressive meltdowns are far more common than rage meltdowns.

Shutdowns sometimes include loss of speech, sometimes include loss of the ability to move my body. Some bad meltdowns have shutdowns follow, not all meltdowns do. Most meltdowns I just have overwhelming guilt and want someone to just hold me and want to curl up and feel like a really young child being protected by someone because I am trying not to hate myself for having them.

Meltdowns vary from 10 minutes to just under 2 hours long. Shutdowns vary from microshutdowns at 5 minutes to continuing the next day even after sleep. The longest period I've been non-verbal is 5 hours. The longest period of time I've not had control to move was probably about a half hour, followed by another almost 4 hours nonverbal. Reduced capabilities and clearly in shutdown has lasted even after I've slept a night after going into one, but not through that day an into another.

The microshutdowns are common and I can purposefully initiate one of those in order to keep myself safe from problems later if I know I'm in bad shape. Walking home from an event I suddenly can't walk, or after I say something high emotions, likely snapping at someone, I pull away and am am unable to move or speak for 5 minutes. If I am close to one and realize it I can initiate one so that I don't go into one and suddenly freeze near a road for example. They keep me from having bigger shutdowns I think.

Ada, my ESA cat, is capable of turning situations that would be meltdowns into shutdowns. I love this about her. I'm not sure if Pippin, my dog, has the same capability, but he has other capabilities related to how I react as I'm getting out of them.

I absolutely cannot stand meltdowns and if there's only one thing I could get rid of about my autism it'd be the meltdowns. The shutdowns I can deal with, though people trying to force me to speak when I'm nonverbal is frustrating.


Also, I'm incredibly introverted.

Certain situations always make me shutdown.

Certain situations make me shutdown or meltdown depending on where I am. If I'm in public I will shutdown if I'm at home I'll meltdown. I prefer the shutdown but the meltdown happens anyways.

Certain situations always make me meltdown.


Most are in the second category, next most are in the first, least are in the third.

I usually have shutdowns where I get quiet and withdraw from people, but sometimes they'll lead into meltdowns. If someone tries to ask me how I am, I'll completely freak out.

Meltdowns here. I still have problems imagining what a shutdown would be like from the inside. I might have partial shutdowns though.

And I would get rid of my meltdowns gladly if there would be a chance too. Since I have anger type meltdowns mostly it can be helpful just to rationalize things more optimistically and grab all occasions to reduce emotional stress and sensory overload. In general, I'm less frustrated if I'm making progress with whatever aims I have in my mind regarding my life improvement and self development.

If I took all questions regarding how I am seriously I'd be crazy now.

I'm in that same depression meltdown. I have had two rage meltdowns, At primary school and once in high school, which led to shutdown. Scared the heck out of my teachers cause they didn't know what to do.

The first one was indited by a bully who kept CONSTANTLY belittling the game I was playing with my friends. The Second in high school was because I had my stuff confiscated and then lost by my teachers ( I never had anything confiscated off me after that).
I also had a mini one which resulted with me chasing my bully of primary school and hitting her on the head with my hardcover copy of harry potter.

Depressive meltdowns however are way more prevalent throughout my life. Both in public and at home. I often end up in closets/wardrobes or underneath stairs and at times these depressive start off angry but turn.

Shutdowns occur when in an environment which I can't process all the sensory info being given to me.

However over the years I have slowly began to have less shutdowns specifically because of what my mother did when I was 9. I was enrolled into Girl Guides. here I learnt all the social skills that were deemed appropriate and I slowly was able to learn to de-stress without shutdown. Another thing that my mother did was always going with me the first time I experienced a new environment, always explaining why each environment was the way it was.

And at the end of the day I would retreat into my bed, which my mother would call a cave. During my child and teenage years I slept in a bunk-bed with my sister. I slept on the bottom bunk with curtains made by my mother all the way around. I now have a four poster bed in which I sleep. This "cave" is my safe zone and my mother can always tell if I am stressed or depressed if I hang out in it all day.

If my mother were not as awesome as she is I would have...I would have killed myself by now if it wasn't for my mother. She was the one to notice that I was different in kindergarden when the teachers thought I had a language disorder. She continued to push when gps tried to disagree with her about her instincts. She got me the referal I needed to see an Occupational Therapist who was able to authorize the tests. And now after 19 almost 20 years of holding my hand I'm ready to go out into the world because of her. And I know that at the end of the day she will be there for me if I ever need her.

This. I VERY much identify with the "depressive meltdown" but I think that is because my meltdowns are triggered by someone or something that has criticized/challenged my character or a situation where I either fail at a task or that task is proving too difficult and I am not grasping it. As a result I submit to uncontrollable sobbing, ranting about how I am worthless and screaming about how nobody loves me or why anyone would love me.

I feel that I go into shutdown mode a lot more then meltdown mode. I always describe my shutdown mode as a wall that builds up in my head where nothing can get through or get out. A block in the road where everything comes to a complete stop. Usually this happens when I get overloaded by what is happening around me. Most of the time it only happens if I am having a discussion, debate or argument and there is no give and take. Example: My husband and I are trying to talk something out. He doesn't like when I interrupt him when he is talking BUT sometimes I need to interrupt to have him repeat what has been said or for me to try and understand what he is saying. If I can't ask the questions I need to ask or have him repeat something he has said then I shutdown because I get overwhelmed and can't take in anymore information until the other information is clear to me.

Sometimes I will shutdown in a social situation if where I am at is too crowded or there is a lot going on. It is hard for me to hear or take in a conversation when there is a lot of background noise. I feel like I am unable to filter out what needs to be filtered and I, again, get overwhelmed.

During my meltdowns I'm most likely to get angry and really just lose my s**t. I can be violent though not towards people just towards items in my possession.
For me it's almost a volcano. It builds and builds and builds then sometimes something stupid and simple can set me off. Then I explode. After my meltdowns I pretty much shutdown and go dormant. I just want to be alone, go for a drive or whatever.
I had a major one tonight while arguing about something stupid with my gf. I ended up absolutely destroying our 37" lcd as well as my go phone. Threw the phone at the tv then punched the tv and broke the screen. Now we don't have enough money to buy another one.

I wish there really was some way I could control this s**t. I hate the meltdowns. My least favorite part of being Aspie.

Mostly shutdowns. To be honest, I am in a near-constant borderline shutdown state: I only go out of my house to work. My weekends and holidays are spent locked inside my house. There is nothing in the "outside world" for me.

The few meltdowns I had consisted of punching hard surfaces or slamming my head against them. Which actually gave me some barely noticeable deformities in my right hand and a lump on the left side of my frontal bone, which becomes very apparent when I cut my hair short.

I get both but more often shut downs.

(I don't usually refer to them as "meltdowns" or "shutdowns", rather "overloads" and "underloads".)

For me, "meltdowns" tend to be more physically intense and "shutdowns" tend to be more psychologically intense. When I have a "meltdown" I lose control of my body; I can still think, and my emotions are very intense (usually it is anger), but I have no control over what my body is doing, and I can't physically feel anything (I've injured myself without knowing it before). When I have a "shutdown" I lose control of my mind; even though I still "go through the motions" (as in, I appear to function properly), my mind isn't there and I can't process my thoughts or emotions. Often these happen sequentially and end with me being in a catatonic like state before eventually drifting into unconsciousness. I used to overload far more often than I underloaded until I learned to remove myself from too much stimuli, but when I first started doing that I went too far and went into underload more often. Now, they're about the same and there doesn't seem to be much difference on the cause being people/things or senses.

Liv_a_Little92, I love hearing about great moms. I miss mine, but I read a couple of blogs written by moms of kids with Asperger's. They're cool moms, and it makes me feel cozy and safe to read about their good attitudes and the way they advocate for their kids instead of trying to make them into people they're not. I'm glad your mom did such great things for you.