If I'm overwhelmed, I'm likely to have a shutdown. I might have an outburst if I'm frustrated or angry, but I seem to stop short of meltdowns most of the time. Some of my outbursts may border on meltdowns, but I think of meltdowns as being much more extended. If things are really bad, I'm more likely to follow an outburst with a shutdown than to have a full-on meltdown. As a child, though, I may have had some meltdowns. But my mother had them from sensory issues and frustrations, so I must've adapted by shutting down instead of melting down. After all, my outburst or meltdown might trigger an outburst or meltdown on her part, and I couldn't handle that. So, I guess I began to shut down instead. But I didn't know that's what I was doing until my journey to learn about Asperger's and determine if I had it was under way, and that didn't begin until about a year and a half ago. I've found out a lot since then! (Thanks, btw, to all the WP members who gave their support - either in posts or in spirit!! !)
Once again, I wish my mother were still around so I could talk these things over with her. She never knew why she had those outbursts and meltdowns. I'd like to be able to tell her why, especially since she worked so hard when I grew up to reconcile with me when I asked her to. We got along much better after that, and this new information would be great to share with her. Unfortunately, I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell my father about any of this stuff. Waaay different situation there...
I prefer shutdowns to outbursts. They're less scary and troublesome for my girlfriend. A shutdown is something she can understand. It's what she's most likely to do. I don't like overwhelming her or making her uncomfortable in any way. She's sweet and can be fragile. I love her very much. Besides, if I make any kind of mess, however unintentionally, she could end up being affected by that, and I think it's not fair to do that to her. I really feel bad when something like that happens.
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