scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-8

I feel I have no support anymore. I have been dealing with depressive moods, shutting down, and not having the energy or motivation to do anything. My brother and I talk about it every now and then but, we are basically two people dealing with the same problems and have no real solution. The only thing my mother seems to come up with is something with "The Universe", my therapist seems to also do the same thing except replace "The Universe" with "God". Excuse me but last I checked there is no way to speak to this "Universe" or "God". I have no direction in life, no idea what to do, failing at the things that I need to do, and all I get in return is "The Universe/God has a plan for you" or "Everyone is put on this planet for a reason".

I'm tired of being stuck in this cycle but, I can't get out of it and every time I cry for help it's always "I can't help you unless you want to help yourself" or some nonsense that basically indicates that "I don't want to put in any actual work helping you I just want to feel like I'm helping you". Is this what being an adult is like? Everyone saying they will help but, in actuality you're basically doing all the work and they are just taking the credit/getting paid?

0

Don't feel too bad this morning .

At my typical 7.

-5 and was -10 earlier. Another bad panic attack with severe chest tension and anxiety. Have had a few cans of Guinness and calmed down a bit now. 6.06am and I haven't slept.

-5 now at 11.58am. Got a court summons for my previous neighbour yesterday saying he'd been aggressive to a woman in this block. I'm thinking that's most likely to be my upstairs neighbour as she's already been down twice to complain about noise when I think I'm pretty quiet. Two aggressive looking lads came out as I was coming back from the local shop and one went to barge into me which I avoided. Not good. I think I might end up moving again soon..

Again at my typical 7.

headache: -2
Broken rib: -5
enjoyment of meds: - priceless

Now at a 4 because of my mom accusing me of laziness.

0 Don't feel to bad mentally, thinking a bit more clearly atm. Some tension in my chest though although bearable at present.

Back at my typical 7, despite my mom accusing me and my NT sister of laziness earlier today.

5 and climbing

4

+5 Feel quite good this morning. Nice sunny day, no anxiety or tension.

Now at -10 feel stressed and liable to keel over. Back on the Guinness..

At my typical 7.