scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-4 again. Why do people always have to stress me out right before I go to sleep.

Bit on the low side presently maybe a 5. isolation is getting to me. Doing my best to combat it but my skills let me down sometimes.

6

-4. lord please help me.

^^^thank you

8

2.

Had an inexplicable depressive episode today.

No trigger. Just comes over me in waves at times.

Not a lot I can do, apart from ride it out.

-7. I hate not feeling like doing anything when depressed which just makes it worse.

-5

This is easily one of the worst Eids in my entire life, no question, however some good things happened to make me not a -10 despite how awful the horrible things have been going for me lately.

This is the 1st Eid in my life my mom couldn't celebrate with me since she died last August, and ive spent most of this Eid heartbroken and crying profusely and uncontrollably. Before my mom died I told her that I hate her, that she's a bi***, that she's garbage, and all types of evil things I said because I was mad at her for mistakes she made that caused me a lot of problems in my life, and only God knows how much I wish I can take all that back. My heart is heavy with regret and torment and not a minute goes by, especially on this Eid, where im not bawling my eyes out at how much of an ungrateful and evil son I was to the most purehearted and loving mother on earth.

I'm also angry and full of rage at how Israel is bombing and shooting my people as they're trying to celebrate their Eid and that makes me seethe with rage at how even on a blessed holiday and already oppressed people have to suffer more of Israel's tyranny. It is messed up. Some people are so evil.

Still a couple of positives this week are worth mentioning to balance out the negatives. My former bully reached out to me and invited me to his Eid party. Also I finished an amazing book that has inspired me to take ownership of my life and be the best I was always meant to be.

-2.

Very exhausted and overwhelmed.

At my typical 7.

-1.75

8

I just did the sickest and most badass back and leg workout of my life, went biking through a nice scenic trail afterwards, swam for an hour in the cleanest and nicest lake, ate out at a high end steakhouse, and to top it off relatives are joining me for a fun family gathering.