scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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dragonsanddemons
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15 Oct 2019, 1:41 pm

sly279 wrote:
-10
Since no one cares about me I won’t bother explaining anymore.


Dragon hugs (((((sly279))))) I often don't say anything because I don't feel like I can be helpful or anything, but I do care about you and hope that you can find some sort of happiness in your life.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


IsabellaLinton
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15 Oct 2019, 2:12 pm

((( super foxy sly hugs )))


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la_fenkis
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15 Oct 2019, 9:37 pm

-3

School and work are not going well. I feel trapped and don't understand what I'm doing it for.



auntblabby
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15 Oct 2019, 9:44 pm

i knew what school and work were for, but i never grokked where i fit into that scene.



widower
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16 Oct 2019, 1:13 am

About a minus 7, i don't recall ever feeling so low. I'm on the edge of tears all the time, i don't know how to begin fix the problems in my personality. I'm remote, withdrawn, clingy, not a good combination, no wonder everyone runs a mile. Because I'm so good at using humour as a self defense barrier for 'social situations', no one has any idea of what is behind the mask.

I'm bouncing between 'hello darkness my old friend' and 'i don't need no arms around me'.



AprilR
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16 Oct 2019, 2:19 am

5. I hate having a Mother who doesn't accept me. I wish i had a different one.



sly279
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16 Oct 2019, 3:05 am

cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-10
Since no one cares about me I won’t bother explaining anymore.

(((sly)))

Hugs, I just wish life would get better for me. It really feels hopeless.


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funeralxempire
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16 Oct 2019, 3:52 am

sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-10
Since no one cares about me I won’t bother explaining anymore.

(((sly)))

Hugs, I just wish life would get better for me. It really feels hopeless.


Can you find an outlet?
That's why I make music.


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Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


sly279
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16 Oct 2019, 4:25 am

funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-10
Since no one cares about me I won’t bother explaining anymore.

(((sly)))

Hugs, I just wish life would get better for me. It really feels hopeless.


Can you find an outlet?
That's why I make music.

It’s feels pointless without someone to share it with.
Should be more to life then working and playing video games alone, they lose their enjoyment, everything does. Not super excited for any games coming out or next generation, I don’t enjoy holidays anymore. Things I enjoyed aren’t enjoyable anymore.


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funeralxempire
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16 Oct 2019, 4:49 am

sly279 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-10
Since no one cares about me I won’t bother explaining anymore.

(((sly)))

Hugs, I just wish life would get better for me. It really feels hopeless.


Can you find an outlet?
That's why I make music.

It’s feels pointless without someone to share it with.
Should be more to life then working and playing video games alone, they lose their enjoyment, everything does. Not super excited for any games coming out or next generation, I don’t enjoy holidays anymore. Things I enjoyed aren’t enjoyable anymore.


I know the feeling. I go to work, I maybe work on a car and post on here and go to bed. Repeat. I lost interest in games years ago, even rFactor.

Part of why I suggest a creative outlet is that there's communities dedicated to them where you can post and already have a built-in base who might pay attention. You can post it here too. If it works for me, it might possibly work for you as well. Whether it's writing or visual art or music or photography or whatever.

Are you in Eugene? I know a guy someone from out there who would fit in well on here, if photography is of interest to you, he might be worth reaching out to.

https://www.deviantart.com/humloch


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Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


auntblabby
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16 Oct 2019, 4:56 am

for us outliers, it generally hurts like hell to be forced to do everything alone, until one learns to love the reflection in the mirror at which point everybody else becomes irrelevant. so to loneliness, too, there comes an end. in my early years i found some comfort from this bit of prose -

To the Loneliest One

There is in certain living souls
A quality of loneliness unspeakable
So great it must be shared
As company is shared by lesser beings.
Such a loneliness is mine; so know by this
That in immensity
There is one lonelier than you.

Perhaps in the end, all that matters is this: that even to loneliness, there is an end."

[Theodore Sturgeon- 1918-1985]



EzraS
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16 Oct 2019, 5:07 am

+8



Jakki
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16 Oct 2019, 10:53 am

widower wrote:
About a minus 7, i don't recall ever feeling so low. I'm on the edge of tears all the time, i don't know how to begin fix the problems in my personality. I'm remote, withdrawn, clingy, not a good combination, no wonder everyone runs a mile. Because I'm so good at using humour as a self defense barrier for 'social situations', no one has any idea of what is behind the mask.

I'm bouncing between 'hello darkness my old friend' and 'i don't need no arms around me'.

I see this ! Music survived me into my late teenage years,that simon & garfunkel tune was practically a mantra for me ...... at that time , had no knowledge that there was remotely a difference in personality types .
You would have thought me, crazy then too . Just because.
Huggz widower.


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widower
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17 Oct 2019, 2:23 am

Jakki wrote:
widower wrote:
About a minus 7, i don't recall ever feeling so low. I'm on the edge of tears all the time, i don't know how to begin fix the problems in my personality. I'm remote, withdrawn, clingy, not a good combination, no wonder everyone runs a mile. Because I'm so good at using humour as a self defense barrier for 'social situations', no one has any idea of what is behind the mask.

I'm bouncing between 'hello darkness my old friend' and 'i don't need no arms around me'.

I see this ! Music survived me into my late teenage years,that simon & garfunkel tune was practically a mantra for me ...... at that time , had no knowledge that there was remotely a difference in personality types .
You would have thought me, crazy then too . Just because.
Huggz widower.


Hi Jakki
Comforting to find someone actually heard me. Thankyou. 'Music survived me' is an odd phrase, do you mean music helped you survive? I think there may be something in this, and maybe I need to be working on a list of upbeat music to improve my outlook. Suggestions welcome, anyone?
W



cathylynn
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17 Oct 2019, 2:43 am

widower wrote:
Jakki wrote:
widower wrote:
About a minus 7, i don't recall ever feeling so low. I'm on the edge of tears all the time, i don't know how to begin fix the problems in my personality. I'm remote, withdrawn, clingy, not a good combination, no wonder everyone runs a mile. Because I'm so good at using humour as a self defense barrier for 'social situations', no one has any idea of what is behind the mask.

I'm bouncing between 'hello darkness my old friend' and 'i don't need no arms around me'.

I see this ! Music survived me into my late teenage years,that simon & garfunkel tune was practically a mantra for me ...... at that time , had no knowledge that there was remotely a difference in personality types .
You would have thought me, crazy then too . Just because.
Huggz widower.


Hi Jakki
Comforting to find someone actually heard me. Thankyou. 'Music survived me' is an odd phrase, do you mean music helped you survive? I think there may be something in this, and maybe I need to be working on a list of upbeat music to improve my outlook. Suggestions welcome, anyone?
W


when i want to express deep emotions, i listen to barber's adagio for strings. there's a place for us from west side story has a ton of hope.



auntblabby
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17 Oct 2019, 3:30 am

there is something hypnotically edifying about being in a cathedral listening to massed choirs or pipe organ [especially antiphonal pipes].