contradictory emotions

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Who has these? I feel elation but torment, anticipation but dread, sadness but happiness, tiredness but alertness, etc. This was especially pronounced in the psychotic episode I had when I was 14 when I felt a simultaneous since of anticipation but also dread. It seems like I can't make up my mind about how I feel about something.

I think everyone (NT or ASD) feels that way sometimes... It's just that NT's are better at compartmentalizing their emotions.
I know for me... even though I feel things very deeply, I have a difficult time seeing what factors of my life are causing the emotions.
I may be upset about something that happened at work, yet at the same time I'm excited about a new dvd I ordered, but both emotions might come flooding in at the same time and I'm not sure where it's coming from. So I feel the emotion of being upset, but have a hard time connecting it to what happened at work. Given enough time and thought I can usually figure it out, but in the mean time it is frustrating... and it's the reason I hate questions that ask me how I feel about something because I often don't know.

this happens to me all the time. I have only lately started to figure out what is going on with me. Things get all jammed together and I present as being in a bad mood, but it is really such a jumble that I have just not sorted it out yet.

For me, it is like I experience them simultaneously. There is no cycling. Also, a lot of the time I feel just blank. I was told by my therapist that that was a defense mechanism, but I just don't know. When it comes to my emotions, I have such poor insight. I think I have better insight into my thought processes than my emotions.

I was just diagnosed with bipolar II disorder after being in a mental hospital after a suicide attempt, when I did have a clear emotion, one of despair. I have a hard time seeing the bipolar, though the increased intensification of raging on Prozac is a sign of it I know. Still, I don't quite understand how I have separate hypomanic or depressive states; it's like I'm always in a mixed state.

Perhaps this thread would be more appropriate in the bipolar, schizophrenia, Tourette's, etc., forum.

While not exactly the same thing, this poem I wrote describes some of the contradictory emotions of solitude