Need some guidance!

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As someone recently diagnosed I am having trouble getting the few friends I have to understand. I'm not quite sure how to convey my issues. I'm tired of making up excuses for my inability to socialize and I don't want to hurt people's feelings(which I do all the time unintentionally by not showing up to events or declining to hang out etc). I hate to think of anyone being upset with me at all and want everyone to be happy. So much so, that I compromise my own feelings and happiness and have trouble saying no to people which makes me much worse or I over explain myself so much that their heads start to swim. When I say no or that I can't handle something then the massive onset of internal guilt begins. I've lost more friends than I can count because of my inability to properly communicate with them. Any suggestions?

My friends know I have AS, but they don't really get it. I don't think people who don't have it can. If I make plans with them I generally try to keep to the plan (even though I often don't enjoy visiting, I think it's important to get out there once in a while.) But sometimes I just have to cancel.
The people who truly are your friends will not hold it against you if you have to bail out every now and then.

Yeah, don't over do it with gatherings. Because if you aren't making an effort, they will know and it will be a negative experience. And sometime you need "you" time to recharge and enjoy life. We all have to say no sometimes. It's not selfish, its necessary to function. One of my favorite quotes is "If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry."

Whenever you have to do something like declining an event, you have to frame it in that it's not about your friendship with the person or that you don't care about them, but that you a part of who you are is that the events themselves make you exhausted. When a person declines things, the other person may think it's about them when it truly isn't, so in these scenarios you will have to explain that it's not that it's about them, but it's about you and the way you operate.