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blue_bean
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18 Nov 2012, 5:19 am

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I don't know how healthy that is though.


Not very.



ColdEyesWarmHeart
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18 Nov 2012, 5:22 am

Makes sense if you stay there often to have a drawer or leave a holdall with toiletries, spare socks & undies, meds, phone charger etc. But I'd always ask or wait for him to ask, not just do it. And surely by the time you're staying there often enough to need it, you should be comfy enough to ask, no?



Kjas
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18 Nov 2012, 6:39 am

mds_02 wrote:
True, guys definitely have their own ways of doing this. I certainly do. Which is maybe why I like it when they do it back.


Part of it is kind of instinctive - I take no issue with that part.
But when they do it knowingly in order to keep others away - that is what I get pissed off at them for - I don't think that is healthy.


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ladystardust
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18 Nov 2012, 10:34 am

I do leave stuff at his house, but it's not a deliberate thing. Just as, right now, I'm typing this message at my house with one of his shirts slung over the back of my chair and at least four pairs of his underwear in my laundry bag.



hanyo
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18 Nov 2012, 11:18 am

I've never done that, it wouldn't occur to me to do so, and finding such items in a guy's home would mean nothing to me. It could be theirs, a female relatives, or something that was left there long ago.



gretchyn
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18 Nov 2012, 12:04 pm

This never would have crossed my mind. Do people actually do that??



forkful_of_soup
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18 Nov 2012, 1:36 pm

I'm now married to the only boyfriend I've ever had, but I never even though to do anything like that while we were dating.


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lostonearth35
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18 Nov 2012, 5:05 pm

That sounds creepy and a little gross... of course, if a man did the same thing at a woman's house it would be so very wrong.



noxnocturne
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18 Nov 2012, 6:29 pm

I can honestly say I have never left anything of mine at my ex-boyfriend's house, nor do I intend to do so if I decide to get back into the dating scene.



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18 Nov 2012, 9:40 pm

blue_bean wrote:
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I don't know how healthy that is though.


Not very.


Most likely.

For someone used to feeling unwanted, someone acting outright possessive of them is gonna be pretty appealing, at least for a while. Which, I guess, is part of why you see people putting up with sh***y controlling manipulative partners.

I could see myself ending up like that. I have ended up like that.

Given how easy it would be for me to be controlled by a woman, I count myself very lucky to be with one who has no interest in that.



AspieOtaku
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18 Nov 2012, 10:30 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKV37xNh07U[/youtube]I always thought women marked their territorys like cats do. :o The leaving clothes thing? I always thought of it as forgetting something unintentionally thats all, but thats just me its rather silly to think of leaving things behind as marking terretory, people just tend to forget things goodness.


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blue_bean
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19 Nov 2012, 1:55 am

mds_02 wrote:
blue_bean wrote:
Quote:
I don't know how healthy that is though.


Not very.


Most likely.

For someone used to feeling unwanted, someone acting outright possessive of them is gonna be pretty appealing, at least for a while. Which, I guess, is part of why you see people putting up with sh***y controlling manipulative partners.

I could see myself ending up like that. I have ended up like that.

Given how easy it would be for me to be controlled by a woman, I count myself very lucky to be with one who has no interest in that.


I think that only feeling the "nice" feeling of having an insecure partner blinds you to what is truly in front of you. What people should be seeing is the insecurity and possessiveness of their partner. I've seen this scenario numerous times.

On the other side of things insecure isn't a particularly positive thing to feel. There in effect one's insecurity making another feel good is like finding pleasure in someone else's pain.



Kjas
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19 Nov 2012, 2:23 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
I always thought women marked their territorys like cats do. :o


We do. We rub our scent all over you so the others stay away. :lol: :razz:


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AliceInAspieland
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19 Nov 2012, 3:30 am

meems wrote:
My dog peed on the leg of a girl I've been on a few dates with recently. She said "I guess we know where Weird Beard(dog) stands." and I suppose if a girl will tolerate my dog marking her territory on her, there's really no point in me doing the same. Though I don't see how I could, since we're the same gender.


That is hilarious. It probably wasn't all that funny at the time. I wouldn't be impressed if it was my leg getting peed on, I wouldn't be mad though. But so help me, I laughed. Hopefully you and your girlfriend/partner can do the same. Dogs do tend to be good judges of character. :D

***

I wouldn't leave things at my partners house with the intention of doing that. It seems silly to me. If you're with someone then that's marking your territory isn't it, because you wouldn't be with them if you didn't want to be?

The only time I'd do something like that would be if I asked first or the idea was suggested to me. Maybe if there was another person getting too familiar with the person of your affection, perhaps go ad put your arm around your partner or something then. I think it's a little possessive. If you feel the need to make everyone aware of your relationship, aren't you implying that you don't trust your partner to be monogamous or loyal?


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AspieOtaku
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19 Nov 2012, 6:31 am

Kjas wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
I always thought women marked their territorys like cats do. :o


We do. We rub our scent all over you so the others stay away. :lol: :razz:
..ohhh oh my..is there any hissing involved if another women encroaches on the scented territory? :chin:


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mv
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19 Nov 2012, 12:37 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Screw that weak permissive sh**, I just urinate on all their furniture.
In reality, it would never have occurred to me to do that. I would never consider a person my "territory". They are their own person, and if I can't trust someone to say no to advances, I shouldn't be with them in the first place.


Who_Am_I, I think I just peed on all my own furniture! LOL! :lol:

Original Poster: it freaks me out to leave something behind, ever, no matter what the context (I fret when I leave things at my mom's house, even). It also freaks me out when anyone leaves their possessions in my space. I instantly notice them (there's like an "intruder alert" that goes off in my head) and have to set them aside in a zone for "just visiting". I know, I'm weird.

I've often thought that any claim you had to stake so very, very hard would not be worth having.