Feeling awkward

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I find I look awkward, literally all the time. I have too much self-awareness, which makes me notice how awkward I might look a lot of the time, being so I look clumsy (always getting in people's way in shops) and unconfident too (not quite knowing how to be or where to look).

But I also feel awkward too. Like the other day at work (at the old people's home) I was clearing the tables in the dining-room, and most of the residents there have Alzheimer's, and so most of them are confused and obviously don't socially interact to normal NT standards. And one of them asked me random questions, and my boss shouted across the room something like, ''come on, let's get this bit done quickly so we can get the floor mopped - we haven't got much time''. She wasn't really telling me off, but she still made me feel awkward, and I could tell she didn't want me to be talking to the residents because of the limited time we had. But I felt that I couldn't just be rude, I know most of them have Alzheimer's but that's not the point, it's not in my nature to be rude, and most of them are very sweet so I felt I should have reassured them. That sort of situation made me feel awkward.

And that's just an example. Does anyone else feel easily awkward?

Yes. I have social phobia and the hyper self-awareness that comes with it. It's almost like having an outer body experience, being outside yourself looking at yourself. There is advantages, of course, but many disadvantages, some that you've mentioned in your post.

To be honest, I think you're doing the right thing here. You realise yourself that it is just not in your nature to be rude, that these residents are decent people and don't deserve rudeness. In my mind you're doing nothing wrong, and feeling the way you do about it is totally fine.

Yes I feel awkward in social situations.

As you can guess from my avatar, awkwardness is my most significant social problem.

Most Socially Awkward Penguins apply to me.