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cjthemadscientist
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26 Nov 2012, 11:58 am

BlueMax wrote:
theWanderer wrote:
My first thought was, has he started taking drugs? That is one way to mess up your mind in a hurry. Then I wondered about psychological or neurological disorders. I would certainly think something was wrong, seeing a change like that.

That was my thought too... less that it was a conscious change, and more that it was one brought on by serious drug abuse... the "artsy" crowd he was with have that common stigma so the odds are increased.

What does HE have to say about his change? I'll wager a doughnut that he thinks he hasn't changed at all...


So sorry to hear... maybe if he cleans up "he" will come back... but this is a time in your lives when big changes can certainly happen. :(
Actually he says he feels different but dosen't know why. It just began with him crying, saying he had an epiphany and feels different. Now that I look at what I'm typing, it could be possible he is trying stuff. I hope not. He can be easily peer pressured. He used to tear up whenever we fought and call me nonstop and chase after me when I was mad. Now I'm not sure if he knows I'm hurt.



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26 Nov 2012, 12:00 pm

cjthemadscientist wrote:
Then he went back to his riddle talk, saying something along the lines of "Like good weed, it'll burn. Bridges burn. Smile baby." then hung up. I'm going to call his older sister and roomate as well to get their input.


There it is.
Image



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26 Nov 2012, 12:36 pm

cjthemadscientist wrote:
Well his dad actually just emailed me back saying he noticed he was being odd, and that he was doing the same thing to him except no constant praising. He's going to try contacting him today to see how he is doing. His mom dosen't speak english and is sperated from the father so it would be hard to get her opinion. When I was talking to my fiance about it in the "early stages" which was 2 days ago, he said "my love for you is driving me crazy and will be the death of me." and started crying. Maybe being alone in a new place without familar people has made him mentally unstable somehow? I doubt it's drugs, he hates them. If this is a joke he's been in charachter for 48 hours straight and didn't break a sweat, he should be an actor.


Okay, we've ruled out "joking". Which means, whether it is drugs, or some sort of mental or physical problem, he has a problem. Only you can decide if you want to stay with him, but I'd say the first thing is to try to figure out what's going on.

If he says he feels different, but isn't saying anything about drugs, then he may not be taking them, at least knowingly. Just as one example, even if one of his new "friends" is not "joking" with him by slipping him something, PCP can be absorbed through the skin. So you can fall under its influence even if you don't know you've been exposed to it. I'm not saying this is PCP, or drugs at all, just that even if he's not knowingly doing drugs, there are other possibilities.

Are you right to be worried? I hate to say it, but, yeah, you certainly are. Whatever is going on, it would concern me even if it was 'only' a friend. The fact he says he feels different, but doesn't know why really suggests to me that even he knows something is wrong, but has no idea what's causing it. And any possibility I can think of is pretty serious. In addition, if he is able to make so little sense, I'd worry about his ability to handle even basic situations safely.


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In the country of the blind, the one eyed man - would be diagnosed with a psychological disorder


theWanderer
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26 Nov 2012, 12:44 pm

BlueMax wrote:
cjthemadscientist wrote:
Then he went back to his riddle talk, saying something along the lines of "Like good weed, it'll burn. Bridges burn. Smile baby." then hung up. I'm going to call his older sister and roomate as well to get their input.


There it is.


Sorry. I don't think so. I've referenced weed a number of times (in more coherent contexts) without doing it. And I've never talked to anyone on weed who was making that little sense. Wasted? Sure. But they could form sentences I could make some sense out of, even if that sense was that, in a larger sense, they didn't have a very good grip on reality. If this is not how he normally talks, or at least close to it, then neither alcohol nor weed are going to be enough to make this particular sort of hash out of his verbal skills.

On top of that, we now know he says he does feel different, but doesn't know why. If he were taking drugs, at least knowingly (see my previous post) why would he admit to feeling different but deny knowing the cause? Either he'd deny both, or admit the drugs. It doesn't make sense - if he knows he's on something. Which does not rule out involuntary exposure to some drug or chemical. But it does, to me, rule out deliberate drug use.


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AQ Test = 44 Aspie Quiz = 169 Aspie 33 NT EQ / SQ-R = Extreme Systematising
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Not all those who wander are lost.
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In the country of the blind, the one eyed man - would be diagnosed with a psychological disorder


Last edited by theWanderer on 26 Nov 2012, 12:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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26 Nov 2012, 12:50 pm

I'm going to add something, but with a caveat: this is not an attempt to diagnose anyone. It is a suggestion, something to think about. And I am not an expert.

But, as a writer, I try to develop a feel for different sorts of dialogue. And if I read / heard the lines the OP has quoted, and was asked to suggest what they brought to mind, I'd say either someone with a head injury (with language impairment) / exposure to the right sort of seriously mind altering chemicals (not all of which are 'drugs' - some industrial solvents will turn your thoughts to mush if you inhale too much, and that's just what I know of), or severe schizophrenia. Those are the only things I can think of which would produce language quite that bizarre.

If the right sort of expert reads this post, they may - rightly, no doubt - point out there are other possibilities. They may see something in the details the OP has provided which rules out one of my suggestions. They are not a reliable guide, just possibilities to explore. But, as long as that's kept in mind, I hope they might be useful as a starting point for thinking about this.


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AQ Test = 44 Aspie Quiz = 169 Aspie 33 NT EQ / SQ-R = Extreme Systematising
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Not all those who wander are lost.
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In the country of the blind, the one eyed man - would be diagnosed with a psychological disorder


ComradeKael
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26 Nov 2012, 1:39 pm

wtfid2 wrote:
cjthemadscientist wrote:
TL;DR: Fiance of 4 years changed in about two days. From being "normal" to acting nuts and I'm confused and stressed.

We have been together 4 years straight. I'm an aspie and he knows this, and he is NT. But lately I'm worried about his mental health. You see he went away to film school for a year long program in another state in September and is coming back in August. I'm seeing him for 2 weeks Christmas and again in January and I was excited but now I don't even know what's going on. It's confusing.

He loves me to death. He has always treated me like a queen but he recentley started, ahem, worshipping me? For a lack of better words. He skyped me bawling his eyes out (never seen him cry like this. I've seen him tear up out of love for me and other things but not sob!) saying he had an epiphany of our love and he's always loved me, but it "hit him hard that day". Everytime I said something he would reply with "Oh my god you are SO RIGHT!" Now, I didn't know if he was being sarcastic or not saying that, I didn't know how to take it. Then things got really weird.

He speaks to me like this now: "Future, you'll soon come to find it's easy. If you didn't it's a challenge." when I asked him what it meant he replied ""I found you tonight and now I'll find a shiny surface and call it home." Uhmm, WHAT THE HECK!?!? I can't decipher that nonsense! Nothing he says is making any sense, he cries all the time too for no reason and we can't hold a normal conversation anymore and I tell him to stop but he won't even when he says he will. He even called saying he was female and I know that's not true haha. Being an aspie I don't like this sudden change and even had a meltdown on Skype and yelled and hit myself in the head and now he won't talk to me...

I feel like I should leave him. But, if I did, it would be a huge change. He's been my best friend for years. He proposed. And also I'm worried about his mental health, I don't want anything happening to him. :( I feel like I should stay and take care of him no matter how hard it is, ughh.
he might have dissociative identy..but he does remember you hmmm


My girlfriend has dissociative personality disorder. It's not that. He's at the age where he'd start showing early signs of Schizophrenia. The jargon speech and the nonsense makes me knee jerk and say Schizophrenia or Schizotypical Disorder.

"Schizotypal disorder
A disorder characterized by eccentric behaviour and anomalies of thinking and affect which resemble those seen in schizophrenia, though no definite and characteristic schizophrenic anomalies occur at any stage. The symptoms may include a cold or inappropriate affect; anhedonia; odd or eccentric behaviour; a tendency to social withdrawal; paranoid or bizarre ideas not amounting to true delusions; obsessive ruminations; thought disorder and perceptual disturbances; occasional transient quasi-psychotic episodes with intense illusions, auditory or other hallucinations, and delusion-like ideas, usually occurring without external provocation. There is no definite onset and evolution and course are usually those of a personality disorder."



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26 Nov 2012, 2:47 pm

Drugs, mental health issues or both. No one "changes" radically without a reason/motive.

Stop speculating, and talk to him seriously. If you can't talk, write.



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26 Nov 2012, 4:12 pm

From the couple of exAmples you have provided it sounds like a thing called 'word salad'.
This is a symptom of psychosis and also brain injury. Also the moodiness you describe sudden crying etc sounds like you need to get this checked out ASAP.
I doubt this person would have the ability to work at the moment or function in any meaningful way at all. This is a dangerous situation for him he is your fiancé so you must seek professional help. Certainly rule out causes like mental illness before deciding to leave
Him over it.


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26 Nov 2012, 4:24 pm

Okay based on an experience I had with someone who has the same problems on Aspie Affection...I will say this:
They have more mental health issues than just AS. Possibly Psychosis or Schizophrenia. It is likely returning to your relationship full time after a change in their lifestyle has overwhelmed them and triggered a condition in them to finally crawl out of the woodwork. He should check in with a practitioner and get referred to a therapist or psychiatrist to identify what the underlying issue is before you end up checking out of your relationship. I don't think he means to be doing whatever it is he is doing I think it is part of a bigger problem that has somehow been awakened inside.

I hope you can get to the bottom of this and that things work out.



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27 Nov 2012, 1:58 am

Darmok and Jilad at Tanagra.



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27 Nov 2012, 6:02 am

Shebakoby wrote:
Darmok and Jilad at Tanagra.

Her eyes uncovered! :D

...the walls came down.



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27 Nov 2012, 10:18 am

BlueMax wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
Darmok and Jilad at Tanagra.

Her eyes uncovered! :D

...the walls came down.


GET OUT OF MY MIND, BOTH OF YOU! :wink:

OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree with everyone that said that there's something more going on here. Something that needs immediate address.



cjthemadscientist
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27 Nov 2012, 10:35 am

Ok update. He's doing better. Apparantley he hadn't slept for 3 days straight wich was fishy to me. He called me apologizing, saying he dosen't know what is wrong and just to be there for him. Also he has this obsessive fear I'm going to die suddenly, which came out of nowhere. hm.

I talked to his family and they've decided when he comes down for Christmas he's going to the doc and if he dosen't get better he is not going back. But intrusive thoughts of me dying, maybe he could be developing OCD if that is possible?



cjthemadscientist
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27 Nov 2012, 10:37 am

BlueMax wrote:
cjthemadscientist wrote:
Then he went back to his riddle talk, saying something along the lines of "Like good weed, it'll burn. Bridges burn. Smile baby." then hung up. I'm going to call his older sister and roomate as well to get their input.


There it is.
Image
If he was smoking pot I would not be concerned. It's uppers I'm worried about.



cjthemadscientist
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27 Nov 2012, 10:45 am

ComradeKael wrote:
wtfid2 wrote:
cjthemadscientist wrote:
TL;DR: Fiance of 4 years changed in about two days. From being "normal" to acting nuts and I'm confused and stressed.

We have been together 4 years straight. I'm an aspie and he knows this, and he is NT. But lately I'm worried about his mental health. You see he went away to film school for a year long program in another state in September and is coming back in August. I'm seeing him for 2 weeks Christmas and again in January and I was excited but now I don't even know what's going on. It's confusing.

He loves me to death. He has always treated me like a queen but he recentley started, ahem, worshipping me? For a lack of better words. He skyped me bawling his eyes out (never seen him cry like this. I've seen him tear up out of love for me and other things but not sob!) saying he had an epiphany of our love and he's always loved me, but it "hit him hard that day". Everytime I said something he would reply with "Oh my god you are SO RIGHT!" Now, I didn't know if he was being sarcastic or not saying that, I didn't know how to take it. Then things got really weird.

He speaks to me like this now: "Future, you'll soon come to find it's easy. If you didn't it's a challenge." when I asked him what it meant he replied ""I found you tonight and now I'll find a shiny surface and call it home." Uhmm, WHAT THE HECK!?!? I can't decipher that nonsense! Nothing he says is making any sense, he cries all the time too for no reason and we can't hold a normal conversation anymore and I tell him to stop but he won't even when he says he will. He even called saying he was female and I know that's not true haha. Being an aspie I don't like this sudden change and even had a meltdown on Skype and yelled and hit myself in the head and now he won't talk to me...

I feel like I should leave him. But, if I did, it would be a huge change. He's been my best friend for years. He proposed. And also I'm worried about his mental health, I don't want anything happening to him. :( I feel like I should stay and take care of him no matter how hard it is, ughh.
he might have dissociative identy..but he does remember you hmmm


My girlfriend has dissociative personality disorder. It's not that. He's at the age where he'd start showing early signs of Schizophrenia. The jargon speech and the nonsense makes me knee jerk and say Schizophrenia or Schizotypical Disorder.

"Schizotypal disorder
A disorder characterized by eccentric behaviour and anomalies of thinking and affect which resemble those seen in schizophrenia, though no definite and characteristic schizophrenic anomalies occur at any stage. The symptoms may include a cold or inappropriate affect; anhedonia; odd or eccentric behaviour; a tendency to social withdrawal; paranoid or bizarre ideas not amounting to true delusions; obsessive ruminations; thought disorder and perceptual disturbances; occasional transient quasi-psychotic episodes with intense illusions, auditory or other hallucinations, and delusion-like ideas, usually occurring without external provocation. There is no definite onset and evolution and course are usually those of a personality disorder."
Interesting. He hasn't experienced any hallucinations of any kind SO FAR (or at least none that he has told me about) but the incoherent talking, obsessive thoughts I'm going to die ring a bell to this. He tells me he dosen't even know if he will last much longer over there because he can't stop thinking about me or worrying about me. He is obsessed with the idea of something bad happening to me now to where he refuses to sleep.



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27 Nov 2012, 3:17 pm

Again hasn't slept for 3 days are symptoms of bipolar and psychosis. Don't wait till Xmas see the doc go now before its too late.


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