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LonelyLoner
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27 Nov 2012, 6:40 pm

People look at me and see a 16 year old. I look either 16-17 and I mentally feel like a teenager. Even growing up I felt immature for my age and looked much younger. When I was 5 I acted like a baby, when I was 12 I acted like a 7 year old, when I was 16 I acted like a 12 year old. And so on.... I feel like I can barely keep up with my teen cousins socially...and I always got along better with younger people.

Anyone else have this "child like" look and personality?



Samian
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27 Nov 2012, 7:39 pm

It's good that you're aware of it in the sense that you can do things about it.

My own issues growing up led to conflict, social failure then low self estem then denial. then Long term denial.

Hope you can get some help with it without going down my road. Not sure what that might be for you - for me it's been about educating myself about AS and about the social world we live in.

cheers, best of luck



Dizzee
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27 Nov 2012, 7:44 pm

You're not alone pal, I've got exactly the same issue. Also I've got a bit "girlish" looking face, guys my age never took me seriously and considired me as a weak.


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redrobin62
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27 Nov 2012, 8:39 pm

I was actually asked for my ID at least twice this year when I went to buy beer. It's a nice compliment, but at the same time, this seems to be an aspie/autie trait. I just take it in stride.



zkg
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27 Nov 2012, 8:47 pm

An AS expert has theorized that Aspies are often emotionally about 2/3rds their chronological age.

I always felt like a middle schooler in high school, a high schooler in college.



Pondering
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27 Nov 2012, 9:08 pm

I definitely feel younger in a lot of ways, I look younger too. At 23 years old I finally gained an inch in height and two shoe sizes after years of no growth. My jaw line is more masculine as well. Four or five years ago, I figured that emotionally and phsyically I am somewhat of a slow bloomer. I still think so.


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antifeministfrills
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28 Nov 2012, 4:22 am

Yeah, interestingly AS is supposed to be associated with immature facial features as well as personality.



Naturalist
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28 Nov 2012, 10:39 am

Only five years off? You're ahead of the game!

I'm in my thirties, but usually I feel and act as immaturely as my son, who is five. It's been hard for me to be convincing at job interviews, because I look like a teenager and act very awkward. For eight years, I had a job as a sales associate in an art supply store, where I earned the nickname "paint geek" because I knew all the different pigments and how they interact chemically with one another--but even though the other associates always called me on my cell phone when a customer had a technical question, other people were always the ones to get the real responsibilities and promotions. My current job is a "grown-up" job--adjunct prof at a local college--but I got it only because my supervisor was a professor of mine and knows me well and that I am capable. Most everyone on campus assumes I am another student.

Typically, when I sense conflict with someone, I either smile nervously or cry, which adds to the impression of immaturity because I can't seem to control my emotions. The other day I was playing soccer with my son and husband and some other family members, and my husband kicked the ball into my face. I was thrown off by that and it hurt but what really annoyed me was that everyone rushed over to see what was the matter, and I wanted to be alone. So when my husband reached out to me, I hit him and ran away. I felt badly about it, but I didn't know how to act as an adult would. I often feel as if I'm a terrible mom, because I can't teach my son the proper emotional responses, or how to manage his emotions, because very often his behavior is more appropriate than mine.



daydreamer84
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28 Nov 2012, 9:44 pm

My mom and I agree that I'm about 8 years behind maturity wise.



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29 Nov 2012, 1:38 am

Yeah I think this is fairly common. I always related better to my sister who was 4 years younger than me than the one who was only a year younger, my first friend was 2 years younger than me. I don't really know why, maybe just the dislike of change that fuels our refusal to accept newer, more adult routines? Hard to say.


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Jabberwokky
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29 Nov 2012, 4:41 am

Wow, another thing about me that might just be aspie related but I only just finding out about it. I am 44 and despite many years of neglect of myself, I look younger than my brother who is 4 years younger than me. Yes, I also feel like I'm 30-something in maturity terms. Actually, I feel very mature in some ways but in others (mostly social things) I feel quite teenager-ish.

I think the felings of immaturity are not because we are unwise or foolish but that our social inadequacies come across as immaturity. However, that doesn't explain the youthful looks. A big reason why I look younger is because my skin doesn't wrinkle. Anyone else like that?

Fascinating topic.


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belladaisy
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29 Nov 2012, 5:07 am

Yeah, many people think I'm about 8-10 years younger than I am. I myself feel much younger than I am, as well. It sometimes makes it hard to connect with other people my own age. Most of my friends are a few years younger.



ColdEyesWarmHeart
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29 Nov 2012, 5:23 am

I'm odd. I was like a little adult from early childhood onwards, by the time I left home at 18 I was pretty much on the same level as my peers, and now I'm 31 and seem to have regressed. I struggle more with independent adult living now than I did at 18 and my interests are getting more childlike too.

I'd put my mental age now at somewhere around the 20 mark, which would make the 2/3 of your chronological age theory correct.



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29 Nov 2012, 6:14 am

I have always fallen into a weird place of higher active maturity, but lower passive. I was known at a young age for being mature because my interests were more complex and intellectual than my peers, and because my reactions to many things was decidedly less emotional and impulsive than them. My natural reactive emotional maturity is what was lacking. I would panic and cry when I encountered stressful and/or emotionally complex situations, especially when the other involved parties were particularly irrational. I can't deal with an emotionally complex situation calmly, or a calm situation emotionally. =\


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decoyalone
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29 Nov 2012, 10:00 am

Nope, I've always acted much older than my age and I look older than I am as well by as much as 5-7 years. I act like I'm about 10 years older than I really am.



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29 Nov 2012, 1:23 pm

People must avoid me because I talk like a professor, yet dress and act like a 21 year old. My GF's brother is 21 and he looks and acts far older than me! I would say I'm between 5-7 years behind personally.