Date with an aspie girl next week

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Kurgan
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29 Nov 2012, 6:58 pm

Hey,

I finally asked out an aspie girl (diagnosed) who live 15 miles from where I live for next week (since I need to get over one badass mo-fo of an exam first). She's aware of my condition as well, but she's slightly higher-functioning than me.

Anyone here with any tips (both men and women)? I'm thinking of social boundaries, what not to say (my bluntness has offened people before), and all that. I'd appreciate it if it wasn't any PUA stuff or that "just be yourself" crap.



1000Knives
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29 Nov 2012, 7:32 pm

Well, I've not dated one, I've liked one and got to know one. I have to say it's a bit of a different ballgame. They can be very cold in your initial interactions with you, but once they open up they're pretty cool. I think the whole "be yourself" thing is more applicable here, likely because you got AS might be the reason she's into you in the first place. It's a commonality. The girl I met I could relax around a good deal more than a normal girl. She might be looking for the same feeling.

I mean, there's not a lot of real advice you can get, as people are individuals and all. Pretty much you'll have to wait and see. I would say with a girl with AS, you probably have a better likelihood of "being yourself" actually working. Hell, that's how I met that girl actually. I played my Japanese music at the rink and she's like "L Arc En Ciel is my favorite band!" and that sparked things really. I'd talked to her a bit, but she was very guarded and I just assumed she hated me or something until I played L'Arc En Ciel. So in this case, "Be yourself" might actually work.

I dunno, maybe completely useless advice. I guess as far as things not to do, I guess don't ramble on forever. I'm kinda significantly more of a loser than you are, so yeah. As far as the girl I met, I concluded she was just as guarded and inept at romantic relationships as I am, it was sorta unsaid, but mutually understood that we both couldn't handle a relationship. It depends, Aspergers or not, the girl could be completely different than you, or she could be a female clone of you. If she's a female clone of you, "Do unto others..." might actually work?

Again, maybe totally useless.



Kurgan
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29 Nov 2012, 8:16 pm

Thanks for your advice. :)



Aspiestar924
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29 Nov 2012, 8:58 pm

I'm an Aspie girl who's never dated, but my advice on a date (I've got my first 'date' or rather just an informal get together with a guy I like, which could be just friendship or more next week, so this is just what I think I need to learn) is:

-don't be too desperate to make it into a really romantic time, go with the flow
-be aware of 'manners' i.e. being too blunt or choosing offensive and inappropriate topics for conversation
-get to know each other and have conversations on topics of interest

Hope it goes well. :)


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'Who threw the first stone spear? It wasn't the social type people chatting around the campfire. It was the Asperger's.'
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Your Aspie score: 193 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 43 of 200


Kurgan
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07 Dec 2012, 4:32 pm

She accepted a second date. :)



AspieOtaku
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07 Dec 2012, 5:39 pm

If you have ever seen the movie splash starring Tom Hanks she's most likly going to be like the mermaid.


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Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
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Aspiestar924
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07 Dec 2012, 6:01 pm

Congratulations!


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'Who threw the first stone spear? It wasn't the social type people chatting around the campfire. It was the Asperger's.'
-Temple Grandin

Your Aspie score: 193 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 43 of 200


Kurgan
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07 Dec 2012, 6:17 pm

Aspiestar924 wrote:
Congratulations!


Thank you. :)

We agreed on beforehand to be both blunt and direct with each other.