Bullied at Uni

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Dunno what to do. I'm 19 and my friend and I are getting picked on for the same things in our house.
-Been told ''no one likes me, no one wants me here and to leave everyone alone''
-Had all my clothes from the radiators chucked on the floor
-Ongoing verbal abuse
-Girls banging on my door calling me names through it
-They squirted sauce all over my clean dishes
-Being threatened
-Name calling written on my door
-Being ''bossed'' around when we are all tennants and pay the same rent
-Used my shower towel to clean the kitchen floor
-People breaking things and blaming me
-Bent my mates keys 90 degrees and smashed her keyring

No one else is listening to me here because they haven't seen the nasty side to them, so I feel afraid to speak to anyone, but instead when its on my mind I just cry in public and can't seem to stop it even when I hate people seeing me upset. Been to my agency and hoping they'll do something, but in the meantime I dunno how to deal with it. I have tried to be civil but its difficult. Please help. Thanks x

OMG! First, purplerain22, I'm so sorry. Importantly, can you leave this situation right now? Really, you cannot have this interfering with your academics, which is priority no. 1. Can you stay with someone else (e.g. parent/relative)? If you can, rent a flat in the interim.

I do hope you've reported this matter to your residential adviser &/or agency. Find an advocate - can you speak to your parents? Be discrete and let them know what has transpired so they can help. Your residential adviser may be able to release you from your least early, given the circumstances. Your disabilities services adviser can assist as well. Many universities have a 24/7 hotline, if your crying and upset. But your best bet is to leave. I understand this may be financially awful, but your marks may otherwise suffer (which is a far worse consequence), not to mention your own health and well being. Try not to confront your bullies, which may only exacerbate the situation.

Agreed with LabPet. Regardless of the costs involved, you need to leave. ASAP.

If you're in residence, you may be able to talk to someone there about a room switch, or even possibly some sort of punishment. But if you're not in residence, and in a private home, your only direct option is to talk to the landlord...and with many (if not most) landlords renting out rooms to students, that will get you absolutely nowhere. A lot of the landlords, because of the loss of income involved, wouldn't be eager to take any sort of action against a bunch of their tenants.

Depending on the severity of the incidents, and on what kind of evidence you have, it may even be possible to take legal action to them, especially on the point where threats were involved. But, a lawsuit has no guarantee of success and could be more stressful than it's worth.

Depending on your school and their policies, you may be able to get them involved even if it is an off-campus thing, but whether or not your school will care depends entirely on their policies.

We need to know more:

1.) Do you live in a dorm or off-campus?

2.) Are the people causing trouble room mates, others in the building, or people coming in off the street?


BTW, it doesn't justify their actions, but you should not put anything on a working radiator. It's a fire hazard.

You have to talk to someone about this in hope that if you move out they don't do this to the next roomate. Why are you living with these people.

You and your friend can be a team together and that can be a substantial advantage to both of you. And if possible, try to run multiple tracks.

Yes, look into other housing available,

And at the same time, see if you two can dampen down or take to the side the current situation. If your friend goes with you when you visit your agency, she can act as a witness and as a second person. That will change the social dynamics of the agency visit in a positive way. Yes, they should take the situation seriously from the get go, but bureaucracies being what they are, they're likely to start at a lower level. With a second person there, they are more likely to start at least at a medium level as far as how they address the situation.

Oh my goodness, I am a university academic and I would strongly suggest that you go and tell your personal tutor if you are in the UK. I have worked as a personal tutor and I can tell you that the personal tutor will not fix this problem directly, but they will pass you along to someone who can.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Hey everyone thankyou for all your advice. I forgot about this post but remembered it todaya nd returned to it! Haha. Since my post, things have got worse and better Basically the verbal abuse has been worse. One of the girls keeps threatening to 'smash our faces in' and one told me to kill myself and bosses me about the house. I have spoken to my letting agent and I am moving out in January Can't wait! This is only after my mum ringing him telling him that she's concerned for my health and safety. I also spoke to a counsellor and have signs of depression due to the situation, but I could vent how I felt and felt better and I am hoping action gets taken with the girls in my house. I just feel that they're getting away with everything and that nothing is being done. The girls are unpredictable, especially after drinking too. I just wanna have fun at uni, but I blame them for making my semester a complete misery and I feel so alone.
By the way I am in a private house and yes I am from the uk too

That's a big relief and you did the right thing by removing yourself from the situation. It could have become so much worse. In fact, bullying is psychologically tragic with serious long-term consequences. Much better for your studies. Well, here's to a New Year, yes?