Mild Social Issues

Post Reply New Topic

I definitely fit the description of a person with Asperger's concerning obsessions and sensory issues.
It's the social issues that seems lacking. I am female and know that that could mean if I have Asperger's social issues would possibly not be as bad for me. I don't think people think of me as someone with bad social skills or with Asperger's, and I don't have a lot of stereotypical autistic problems socializing, like not understanding body language, etc (which I think I can just fine.) But is it possible I could have an ASD with such mild social issues/differences? Do any of you seem to not have the stereotypical/worse social troubles?

-I'm very, very introverted to the point that I can totally isolate myself to where I start to become depressed or make others worry about me. I have a few friends, but very rarely want to hang out with them. It isn't very enjoyable to me. I did lose a friend because of this once too sadly. I crave being alone.
-Friends that know me better definitely describe me as eccentric. A friend of mine with an autistic brother actually asked me if I was autistic, but I don't know if it was because of my social skills or some other reason.
-Around everyone else, I am withdrawn and sometimes don't actually know what to say to them. Sometimes I stay in my bedroom, because when I go downstairs, just having family say even a little to me is irritating at times when I don't feel in the mood to socialize with anyone.
-People seem to think I am a lot more serious than what I really am. My mom says I have a very serious expression a lot of the time. One of my professors even asks me every class if I am okay and told me I look like I am mad at him sometimes, though I'm not. I even laugh at his jokes and whatnot like everyone else, so I don't understand why he thinks that.
-I have social anxiety too. Also, I don't like to do things alone because I worry that if I do not have someone else with me, I will not know what to do in various social situations or exactly what to say to people. When I am alone, I manage but am awkward at times for sure.
-I've been told I correct people a lot and that it can be rude, but I don't notice that I do this. I'll have to admit that I will give people explanations or facts a lot of the time, but nobody has ever seemed to dislike it. At least they don't tell me if they do.

I am not as bad with socializing as most people with Asperger's seem to be. I can read body language and facial expressions well if I try. I have spent a lot of time just watching and listening to people so I learned that way. That and books plus shows like Lie to Me.

I only talk to people if I have to so I don't have too many awkward interactions. People just think I'm quiet. I keep my interests to myself. I do have issues explaining things, though, and then obsess over what I think I said wrong. I have to really prepare myself for social situations but do relatively well. I take medication that really helps me socialize more effectively, too.

Interesting replies, thank you both.

I'm just so on the fence whether I have mild Asperger's or not, and I know I can't be NT anyhow, I don't really know what I am. :s

You sound a lot like me (we even have similar AQ and Aspie quiz scores). I've obsessed about things since I was little, I know I stim a lot, and I'm mostly not interested in socializing. People have told me I sometimes look mad or hard to approach, and also that I'm very, very quiet. But I can talk to my peers/professors about research (honours student), I'm starting to make an effort with small talk, and I've never had a problem with understanding body language. When I'm with people I know well I mostly follow their lead in social situations. Do I have mild AS? Am I just a quirky NT? Do I have something completely different? I have no idea. If you find out you should let us all know

Sometimes I wonder how different my own perception of social situations is from other people. It's possible I'm below average with body language and just don't notice. After all, it's not like I know what other people are seeing in the exact same situation. I know when I was young my parents/teachers would pull me aside when I made a social faux-pas, but when you're an adult nobody's going to tell you that to your face. If that makes sense.

<---- Is a woman diagnosed with AS and the general reaction by close friends, family, and even people with AS is disbelief because I "seem normal". Well, I'll trust the psychologist's opinion - they really have to look into your developmental history before making a judgement.

Just curious about the reading you've done into women with AS. Have you read/seen any of Tony Attwood's material? According to him, women with AS tend to cope in more seemingly normal ways. They also tend to disguise their problems and appear more social than boys with AS. I can relate well to his take on girls with AS, as well as Rudy Simone's, Liane Holliday Willey, and other women who wrote books on girls with AS. If you do too, perhaps you have it. If not, well just having depression and social anxiety are reasons enough to go seek help - there could be something else that you have. PDD-NOS has similar symptoms to AS and is on the autism spectrum, but lacks the social difficulties.

I am able to read peoples' expressions fairly well, but I don't know if I was able when I was little. I'm unsure as to whether it is a skill I have improved on as I've gotten older.

Having said that, I absolutely hate small talk, I often stumble for words when engaging in it, I don't know what I should say next or I get nervous and try and say something and mix up words.

Like if a shop assistant says "How are you" I might say "thank you" as if I don't know which part of the conversation I'm meant to be answering to.

I also like my own company, don't like socialising very much and avoid it in general. I feel resentful when I've spent the day with someone that because I was with them I didn't have time to do other things I like doing on my own.

Right... I should say that the psychologist told me that my AS is "mild" - but that was not in the formal diagnosis. Maybe the severity of social skills varies on the spectrum?

@Laserwater I'm very similar to you too. I'm quite sure I'm on the spectrum, but at the same time I'm not sure if my behaviour can be considered a 'disorder' as it doesn't seem severe enough. Though with me, I think my social issues are a bit more noticeable and my sensory issues less noticeable. I recently read something about a term that was coined, called 'autistic cousin', used to describe people who display a lot of autistic traits and have similar experiences to people with an ASD, but don't fit the criteria for a diagnosis. It doesn't seem to be a widely used term though.