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kilburn
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22 Dec 2006, 8:50 pm

I'm a socially isolated teenager whose mostly mute and has no friends. Unsurprisingly, I've being diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. I expect this to be the case for other socially isolated teenagers, isolation being a main diagnostic criteria ( I always assumed, say, sensitive hearing, for instance, was more "peripheral") I believe there's been a misdiagnosis. Furthermore, I think doctors using the diagnostic criteria on anyone is questionable. On a personal level, too, I've simply never been jiggy with the Aspergers label. I think most people with Asperger's are isolated*. But why should all people who are isolated have Asperger's? Yes, I fit all the tickboxes, I don't make eye contact, initiate conversations etc. ect... but I have reasons for being this way, arguably quite sinister ones. Instead of help with the sinister reasons, though, I've been diagnosed with high functioning autism and told to read social stories! Isn't that silly. It's almost like they're waiting for me to do evil. The question is, is it possible to fit the criteria for Asperger's, but not actually have it? I know what I think.

(*That's not really the impression I got after reading through a few posts on here. Though the internet is different to real life, if your not all socially isolated, what exactly IS the problem? Nobody thinks of themself as "part of a crowd"...)



aleclair
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22 Dec 2006, 9:13 pm

kilburn wrote:
Yes, I fit all the tickboxes, I don't make eye contact, initiate conversations etc. ect... but I have reasons for being this way...


I have as well developed reasons for my social behaviors (i.e. when to initiate, when not to), although with me, the actions (or inactions, as I'm not much of an initiator of social behaviors) came way before the reasons. It's sort of like my mind WANTED to keep the same pattern going, so instead of becoming awkwardly active socially, I created logical reasons.

Sort of off topic to what you are asking but I had to respond to that passage...

Aspergers is defined as a lack of social interaction and many Aspies are isolated, yes, but that's not the breadth of the diagnosis. I, for example, had a lot of Autistic traits early on in life. Many Aspies, from what I have read, show high intelligence (but as intelligent as they are, many that I know in real life are slackers). So social isolation is just one trait of the Aspie "experience" - if I can be allowed to call it that.

Personally I think isolation is a major part of the Aspie experience but there are a number of sensory details - as you mention - that are part of the experience as well.

I see they've got you reading social stories. What horror... I had my fair share of those in elementary school. I personally think they're good for the broad basics, but never have I seen social stories that explain the nuances of high school - the gender expectations, the group mentality, etc...

A social story may tell you that when you see someone you know, you are supposed to say hi. But in the high school environment I have noticed that the methods for greeting vary based on the gender of the person greeting and the gender whom (s)he is greeting. The social story may be broadly correct, but it fails to take account for all the variables in the social environment.

-aaron



kilburn
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23 Dec 2006, 8:42 pm

I can sort of relate to the behavior coming before the reasons. About 8 years ago, I'd spend my break times at school sitting on the ground and poking sticks into drains. This was because everyone ignored me and if anyone initiated a conversation with me, I'm sure I'd have been responsive. Not that I can say for certain, as they never did. Nowadays, I have my reasons for not wanting anything to do with them. If someone tried to involve me these days, I'm pretty sure I'd ignore them.Not that they ever will. From anyone elses point of view, nothing has changed, I'm isolated and spend my time poking stuff into drains. From my point of view, lots has.

Asperger's is diagnosed based on behavior, isn't it? I don't see how thats useful at all, it doesn't take into account exactly WHY people are behaving the way they do. Its no better than labels like nerd or goth, at least in my opinion - people behave a certain way, who cares why, who cares when it started, they do and so they're mildly autistic. I feel like I've gone to a fancy dress party dressed as a bear, can't get the costume off and now everyone thinks I'm going to eat them. Even though it should be very obvious I'm just someone in a costume. Especially to clinical psychologists.

Some would argue there might be good reasons for isolation, obsessive interest and socially inappropriate behavior individually, but not all of them together. I disagree. I think isolation, for instance, could directly lead to the other two. Isolated people with nothing to do and nowhere to go are bound to engross themself in something, be it model planes, computer programming or cromwellian fortifications. The interest will likely be obsessive if they've nothing better to do. And of course the isolated person would behave inappropriately. Would a human brought up in the jungle for 20 years by monkeys with no human contact behave socially inappropriately? It works any other way round too. Obsessive interests could lead to people becoming isolated or distracted into social awkwardness.

Does this make sense or am I talking rubbish and/or in denial?



en_una_isla
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23 Dec 2006, 9:06 pm

Apart from a general distate for the diagnostic process and criteria, are there specific reasons you do NOT think you are HFA?

I was in denial too when I first heard about Asperger's; it took me about 3 years to realize and admit to myself that there really was something significant to all this.

What about physical traits? Do you have awkward body language or posture, do you twist or do odd things with your hands? Do you stim? Self injure?



kilburn
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26 Dec 2006, 11:48 am

Yes, I have awkward body language and posture, but that was brought about

by the diagnosis itself - everyone is watching me and judging. Even at

family get togethers like christmas dinner I feel people are saying

amongst themself "keep watching and hes gonna do something autistic any

second now." It wasn't like that before. Of course, everyones

reinterpreting what it was like before to fit the diagnosis. I lied to my

doctor and said I never did pretend play. He said that confirms the

diagnosis. I then told him about the pretend play I actually did. He said

I used to have a fantasy/reality blur, which conforms the diagnosis. It

seems to me that now I'm diagnosed I have no personality and everything is

"cos of autism" Unless I do something evil due to receiving no help with

my real problems. Then its suddenly NOT the autism at all and I know

exactly what I'm doing

I do some odd things with my hands, but I assume thats OCD as my dad is even worse and has a whole repertoire of strange habits and movements. I also walk up and down when I'm thinking, but can that really be classed as "stimming"? I've seen people walking up and down to show they're thinking on TV and assumed it was quite normal



en_una_isla
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26 Dec 2006, 1:35 pm

You should not be forced to label yourself. Some people reject the notion of labels entirely.

It's easy to feel manipulated by diagnosticians and authority figures to do and say what you think they want to hear.

Try not to lose hold of who you are, and if you don't know who you are, don't let other people claim to know.