Are you a conflict avoider or do you stand your ground?

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How do you approach interpersonal conflicts?
I avoid conflict / non-confrontational. I am male. 30%  30%  [ 18 ]
I avoid conflict / non-confrontational. I am female. 26%  26%  [ 16 ]
I avoid conflict / non-confrontational. I am other. 3%  3%  [ 2 ]
I always assert myself and stick up for what I think is right. I am female. 11%  11%  [ 7 ]
I always assert myself and stick up for what I think is right. I am male. 7%  7%  [ 4 ]
I always assert myself and stick up for what I think is right. I am other. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
In between / Neither 23%  23%  [ 14 ]
Total votes : 61

Raptor
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10 Dec 2012, 8:34 pm

Depends on the situation.
The phrase "pick your fights" comes to mind because some confrontations are worthwhile to pursue while others are not.
Aside from that, confrontational situations are made considerably worse by having Asperger's. :?


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UnLoser
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10 Dec 2012, 10:45 pm

I'm very non-confrontational, I don't even retort when someone jokingly insults me or anything. A lot of male friendships seem to focus on silly aggressiveness and insults; I can't do that. I'm prone to letting myself be pushed around. However, I'm much more likely to take action when someone else is being harassed. I just can't stand up for myself.



OliveOilMom
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13 Dec 2012, 8:58 pm

I live for confrontation. Really. I love it. I think it's because I was so sheltered growing up. Never having the guts to stand up for myself, I now stand up not only for myself but for others. In fact, if I could be in any movie other than GWTW (as Scarlett, NOT Melanie I hate her) it would be Red Dawn. I've always wanted to be a soldier. In fact, I tried to join the Marine Corps but they wouldn't let me cause of the thyroid thing. Yes, the thyroid, not the psychological, kept me out of the sevice. I think I'd have made one hell of a soldier though.


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SoftKitty
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17 Dec 2012, 3:45 pm

I stand my ground but it is not always to my benefit.


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BlueAbyss
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17 Dec 2012, 4:34 pm

It depends on a lot of things.

With people I don't know well, I'm extremely non-confrontational, unless I'm in an assertive mood and maybe someone's rights or safety is at stake. Most of the time, though, with strangers, I'm practically invisible, and I like it that way.

With those I'm close to it depends on my mood, what I perceive about their mood, how much I know about the subject at hand or how confident I feel about my position, how important the matter is to me, whether I'm tired, stressed, hungry, had enough sleep, have a migraine, am depressed, etc. Lots of things. In those situations I'm about 50/50 - in between.

I am overall more confrontational than I was when I was young. Which is probably, in my case, a good thing.



Leola
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17 Dec 2012, 6:01 pm

I am capable, but have a lot of difficulty standing up for myself to anyone but my immediate family. Sometimes it's lack of confidence and low self-esteem, but I think it's also my poor communication skills.



Goddessx
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19 Dec 2012, 6:30 pm

>> I always assert myself and stick up for what I think is right. I am female

That, I do. :wink:



zeroed
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19 Dec 2012, 9:19 pm

I only speak up in real life and i pick the situation carefully. Online i have learned to avoid any confrontation. This can involve avoiding expressing opinions but still communicating, and being aware of what might set someone off. I had my computer hacked quite severely and i have learned to avoid online conflict, and even avoid words that have been defined by some as invectives. Efficiency is part of fairness.Even today i deleted a comment that could be fuel for shenanigans. If one is on the spectrum we are generally thought to have precipitated any conflict that arises. Its important to know what to avoid, the list keeps changing it seems. The biggest aspect is recognizing early in others the tendency to use uncertainty to keep online arguments going.



Colinn
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19 Dec 2012, 11:47 pm

I guess I'm inbetween. Naturally, my instinct would be to avoid conflict when possible. But sometimes it is necessary to stand your ground, otherwise people will walk all over you. Like others here it does make me feel nervous to do so, but not standing up for what is right feels even worse.