How to talk to a bipolar girl?

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Okay, so I know a young girl who I learned very recently is bi-polar. Now I only learned this a few days ago, at the same time she found out that I have aspergers. I noticed there was something wrong with her, but I was never sure what it was. I asked if she was autistic, and she had no idea what that is. But there was definitely something out of the ordinary, because she talked to me rudely, insulted me constantly, would try to ignore me and run away, and a couple of times attacked me physically. I yelled at her once for it, with a lot of swearing and asking why she does that to me when Im so nice to her. It didnt end up well at all (Even ending with me calling her the dreaded R word). And I also got into really big trouble because of something I did with her recently, so we really arent supposed to see each other much without an adult around, and I have to be really careful about what I say and do around her. So, how am I supposed to approach her? What can we talk about? And how do I deal with her when she tries to talk to me mean? Any help is highly appreciated.

Im trying to be friends with her because there is no one else to hang with where I live, so I dont have much of a choice unless I wanted to be one of those "forever alone" guys. And I would also say that being bi-polar does have something to do with it, if she's having mania. I think she would be a little kinder if she didn't have it.

So you think that her rudeness to you is due to mania? Let's say that's the case. It's very plausible.

Myself as a case study of this: I know that I am usually kind to people, but that when manic I can get very rude. In fact, people have said to me that I become a different person when manic. I have tended to get very blunt and opinionated. I will not tolerate mistakes by others. I believe, looking back, that this kind of behaviour was due to my mindset while manic. I believed that I was a genius, that I had a grand plan to help all of the people of the world, and that this plan came before my obligations to other people and myself. Delusions of grandeur like this are often on the minds of people who are very manic.

The problem with this behaviour was, that it was destructive to myself and others, just like this girl's behaviour towards you is destructive. Whether she is doing it because she is manic, or whether she is just trying to get you away from her, your course of action is much the same. It is probably better to be alone than to be with an abusive person.

When dealing with someone who is manic, like I was some years ago, you must protect yourself first. Do not allow her to abuse you. Do not get wrapped up in her manic ideas. If you feel that you can adequately be safe against any abuse she dishes out, and still help her, and be a friend, than this is a wonderful thing you can do. But it is like the safety demonstration on aircraft. Always put your own mask on before helping others. Protect yourself first, then help her. Because if you don't you will both be going down.

The thing with bipolar is that it is comes and goes in cycles. If she has been consistently rude to you, it is likely not to be because of mania. If she is sometimes nice and sometimes rude, then it is more likely to be because of her bipolar.

The point I'm trying to make is, doesn't matter why someone is abusive towards you. If they are, get the hell away from them.

The book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder has great advice on how to talk to someone whose extreme moods are making them irrational. Even if you aren't interested in a romantic relationship, it'll still be a good idea to read it.

(I also recommend it for understanding people with other issues that cause mood-related outbursts, such as flashbacks or meltdowns. It has a lot of relevance for me with my PTSD.)