More single aspie males than single aspie females?

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TheWhale
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21 Mar 2005, 1:59 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
The Whale has a point.

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We have lots of words for women, other than aspergers, to describe them when they exhibit aspie behavior: b***, self-centered, nitpicking, frigid etc.


Nice to know what guys think of me though. :!:


Thanks for being such a good sport. I forgot to mention that many closet aspie women who suffer being labeled with those other words need some understanding just as we do.

Some research has been done by people who tried to diagnose in a way that eliminated "gender bias", decisions on diagnosis based on different expectations of males and females. In those studies, which used to be on the website of ASC-USA before it went under, the male-female ratio for AS was 3 to 2 and even 1 to 1 in one study.

Jerry Newport



axelkat
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24 Mar 2005, 10:45 am

yeah, it drives me nuts.
A


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kaixo
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05 Apr 2005, 6:10 am

i think there are more single aspie males than females. NT males tend to be somewhat more aggressive than females as a whole. however, i think i should make it clear that there are women who would see an ASD man as unattainable, and thus, desirable.

i think there is some general misconception that hyper-emotional females are somehow "slu*ty" and thus inadequate for long term relationships. however, on into a relationship with a female on the ASD, the male seems to realize that AS females are not exactly "innocent" nor "virginal." it's as if lack of superficial, obvious emotionality and perhaps a tendency towards "intellectual" tasks immediately signifies some sort of wealth of morals or desirable stoicism.

in women, i think that a tendency towards perseveration and "intellectual" tasks can be nearly fetishized by some men.

it really just make me want to vomit.



New-Angie
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27 Dec 2008, 10:46 am

For some time I went to self help groups to see how other aspies tick.

They were all full of women only! They all were not in the official statistics of autism, because you have to undergo lots of tests in a University programm, but if you live far from those big cities and are only diagnosed by a neurologist or so, you are an Aspie but not in the books. So I strongly believe that there are the same number of females as males in the spectrum.

In the self help groups about two third of the women married to NTs at a young age, they just thought that's what they have to do and it's always so difficult in a marriage. Then they were diagnosed, when one of the kids was found to have AS in school-tests. They were devastated, thought that they had screwed up their life, maintaining familiy life and marriage even though it was not the right thing for them and they suffered every day, they just gave in and adapted until being diagnosed with AS.
The other third of the women were divorced quickly or had stayed single because thei discovered that it is better for them before they rushed into a marriage with someone.
All were saying, that they wanted partnership more on the intellectual basis and disliked intimacy and sex, only accepted it a little bit to keep the partner and not be alone.
Maybe it is the male-brain-tendancy at aspies that makes females in partnership things think more male, though they might not look so??



Hector
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27 Dec 2008, 11:07 am

New-Angie wrote:
For some time I went to self help groups to see how other aspies tick.

They were all full of women only!

This is a bizarre finding and I'm curious to know what the cause of this is. From my two spells at AS groups I met two women and 15-20 men. (They sometimes had social meetings where I met a few more) How many of them were diagnosed? Less women are diagnosed with AS than men, that's just a fact as far as I'm aware.



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27 Dec 2008, 10:43 pm

The reason for this is very simple, and some guy on page 1 already stated it: Females don't like aspie males, while males don't mind if a female is aspie or not. Thus the order of aspie relationship probability goes like this, with the top being most likely to achieve a relationship and the bottom the least likely to:
Hetero aspie females.
Gay aspie males.
Hetero aspie males.
Lesbian aspies.

That's been my observation, at least.


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poopylungstuffing
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27 Dec 2008, 11:47 pm

I like aspie males...at least I am dating someone who I think is one.



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28 Dec 2008, 3:58 am

JayShaw wrote:
Heh, here's a reply that I wrote to a post on Aspergian Island relating to this subject:

While I will agree that it is far easier for females with Asperger's Syndrome to enter into romantic relationships, my reasoning for this differs from yours. One main reason is that most men pursue women based largely on physical attraction. As a result, a typical man will often be willing to accept a woman's abnormal personality traits as long as he is reasonably physically attracted to her. Most women tend to be more attracted to social poise and status when pursuing a mate. These are things that most men with Asperger's Syndrome notably lack.

Another reason is that the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome tend to be far more pronounced in males than they are in females. Furthermore, the individual traits associated with Asperger's Syndrome are far more common in ordinary men than they are in ordinary women. As a result, a woman with Asperger's Syndrome is likely to encounter many men with traits similar to her own, and the chance for finding a compatible partner is relatively high.

Men with Asperger's Syndrome are far less likely to find typical women who exhibit similar traits, so potential compatibility normally remains elusive for these men. The mere fact that approximately four times as many men as women are diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome should indicate that a woman with Asperger's Syndrome will have far less difficulty finding a compatible partner. There is a reason why people with Asperger's Syndrome are often characterized as exhibiting an "extreme male brain."


Good looking out, I think you just completely spoke my mind.

That and on paragraph two, I think what also sucks for the guys is that introversion or social-impediment, anything that makes you look side-kickish rather than the alpha of the group; it damages the perception of 'what you have to offer' horridly, and perception is 90% of what makes or breaks people.



LePetitPrince
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28 Dec 2008, 6:48 am

poopylungstuffing wrote:
I like aspie males...at least I am dating someone who I think is one.


But you don't represent a majority...

Not to forget that most girls ,including most geek girls ,don't like geek and nerd guys and most aspies are either geeky or nerd or both.



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28 Dec 2008, 7:07 am

I found it's not being female that helps one get into a relationship. I am autistic but female; I have always been single.

Can't say it's easier to get away with ASD traits just because you have the physique of a female.

Neither is looking cute and attractive helpful on its own. (I know that#s being proclaimed, but I've never found this to be true for me and others.)

There must be something else. Just what? The ASD being more obvious or something? I don't know.

Well, these are my experiences.

I'm going with what some already said - that there are just a lot more AS males and undiagnosed and, even more so, misdiagnosed females with AS.


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28 Dec 2008, 11:57 am

Psychlone wrote:
What you guys are saying makes perfect sense. I've never been able to approach a female... the fear of rejection is too great.


Like anything else, you just have to try.

It is a matter of how bad you want something. Are you willing to go that extra mile?

if so then talk to every girl you can ... even if just to say hi. NT and AS alike have a hard time with this. Most attractive women aggree talking to them is something most guys are afraid to do, so in this reguard, you are not a lone, just more aware and possibly self concoius.

Try to realize that on a much larger scale, 8-10 times you will never see the girl again. Especially if it is on vacation or at a mall :)


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28 Dec 2008, 12:31 pm

The 4:1 male-female ratio is only with those who are diagnosed. If you factor in those without a diagnosis, and those elsewhere on the autistic spectrum (other than AS), you're talking about 1 out of 150 people total--roughly 40 million worldwide.

And just because someone is not on the spectrum doesn't automatically make them an NT. NT means no neurological disorders period.

As for Aspies preferring fellow Aspies or NTs, I can't say for sure. Many Aspies, regardless of gender, who are in relationships found their partner before they were aware of AS.

So I would imagine that these people were indifferent as to who they ended up with.


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LePetitPrince
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28 Dec 2008, 1:19 pm

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The 4:1 male-female ratio is only with those who are diagnosed. If you factor in those without a diagnosis, and those elsewhere on the autistic spectrum (other than AS), you're talking about 1 out of 150 people total--roughly 40 million worldwide.



^^ You people keep saying this. What proofs you have for this statement?
What you are saying doesn't make any sense ,what you are saying that most Aspie girls go on with their lives and no one of their parent notice their Aspiness , not even themselves.


That might be possible for aspies but all scientific studies about autism show that it's more common among boys, including Classic autism.

Surely, no girl with Classic Autism(severe autism) would grow without being noticed by the parent and teachers, no? Yet , severe autism is much more common among boys. If AS is part of Autism spectrum then logically it would be the same case.



princesseli
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31 Dec 2008, 1:45 am

LePetitPrince wrote:
Quote:
The 4:1 male-female ratio is only with those who are diagnosed. If you factor in those without a diagnosis, and those elsewhere on the autistic spectrum (other than AS), you're talking about 1 out of 150 people total--roughly 40 million worldwide.



^^ You people keep saying this. What proofs you have for this statement?
What you are saying doesn't make any sense ,what you are saying that most Aspie girls go on with their lives and no one of their parent notice their Aspiness , not even themselves.


That might be possible for aspies but all scientific studies about autism show that it's more common among boys, including Classic autism.

Surely, no girl with Classic Autism(severe autism) would grow without being noticed by the parent and teachers, no? Yet , severe autism is much more common among boys. If AS is part of Autism spectrum then logically it would be the same case.


It might be a possibility that girls on the autism spectrum overall exhibit less severe symthoms so there might be less girls who have classic autism in porpotion to boys. But there might be a larger amount of girls in porpotion to boys who are aspies. So maybe theres a larger percentage of girls on the autism spectrum who are aspies as opposed to having autism. I dont really know, im just speculating.



LePetitPrince
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31 Dec 2008, 5:13 am

princesseli wrote:
LePetitPrince wrote:
Quote:
The 4:1 male-female ratio is only with those who are diagnosed. If you factor in those without a diagnosis, and those elsewhere on the autistic spectrum (other than AS), you're talking about 1 out of 150 people total--roughly 40 million worldwide.



^^ You people keep saying this. What proofs you have for this statement?
What you are saying doesn't make any sense ,what you are saying that most Aspie girls go on with their lives and no one of their parent notice their Aspiness , not even themselves.


That might be possible for aspies but all scientific studies about autism show that it's more common among boys, including Classic autism.

Surely, no girl with Classic Autism(severe autism) would grow without being noticed by the parent and teachers, no? Yet , severe autism is much more common among boys. If AS is part of Autism spectrum then logically it would be the same case.


It might be a possibility that girls on the autism spectrum overall exhibit less severe symthoms so there might be less girls who have classic autism in porpotion to boys.


Not, it's not possible , Classic autism symptoms are very clear regardless of the gender.

Quote:
But there might be a larger amount of girls in porpotion to boys who are aspies. So maybe theres a larger percentage of girls on the autism spectrum who are aspies as opposed to having autism. I dont really know, im just speculating.


Only if AS is not autism.