how to meet/date LFA women?

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Or rather: How to meet autistic women who are considerably more affected by autism, so to speak
on the border between LFA/HFA?

The problem is obvious: The more autistic you are, the more likely it is that you become proportionally less social, hence you are proportionally less present anywhere around people. The same is probably true for people on this forum and elsewhere in social contexts on the internet.

But being generally social and having a relationship (or just living together with a person) are in practice two very separate things. I may have a fundamentally different interest in relationships anyway. While for most people it is about being social with each other, for the sake of being social, to me it is about being together for the sake of satisfying a human need in the least complicated way possible for both partners. The most reasonable way to do the latter is to just start by living together and then go as far from there as comfortable, since that's in any case more than nothing and its not really more complicated at average to live with another person than it is to live alone. By contrast, cycling through endless dating intervals really has the opposite effect: it costs tons of effort, its complicated, it doesn't really satisfy the need to be together since you are separated most of the time unless you meet. The real driver behind meeting and dating is being social, not having relationships in the sense I described.

So, I guess if that difference in interests in relationships exists in me, because I lack the social part, then it must also be true in women who lack the social part to similar extents, unless of course (those) women generally don't have the same human need to be with a partner.

So its really the question, how to get to the point where you can have such relationships with women/people who aren't social enough?
How to meet those women, if they are by nature not present enough to be met?

People on WP tend to have an unrealistic idea of what LFA means. A truly LFA person is usually not competent to make a decision about entering into a relationship or marriage, and most likely wouldn't care about those things anyway. Perhaps you would be better off talking to a counselor about what you are looking for in a relationship.

Relationships are still social relationships, they're just one on one but have a lot more expectation and emotional involvement, which can overwhelm an autistic just as much as hanging around a group of people can.

People get categorized LFA just because they can't care for themselves, need a legal guardian or don't speak in the wrong circumstances. Its not as if I wasn't so far away from that myself. I know that it also includes people who are entirely non-responsive and can't really make decisions (who I would have no interest in, hence putting it as HFA/LFA rather). From what I have seen, even extremely dysfunctional people with autism still have normal social/relationship needs, maybe buried by a lot of stress though. Its maybe socially dodgy for someone relatively functional to have a (borderline-)romantic relationship with someone who is considered to be very/severely disabled, but that also means that its a social taboo for the disabled to have normal relationships.
I don't think that's morally right. I don't consider someone who is so obsessive or mentally occupied that he can't work or care for themself to be cognitively or intellectually disabled such that they can't make proper decisions and need people to decide their life for them. Its just not sound to me to put those people in a category where you can't interact with them.

Why would I want to talk to a counselor? I am very aware of the situation.

Well, I don't know if you can understand this, but 'normal' social interaction works inside the rules of the normal social network which is based on the rules of the minds of normal people. If you are deviating from those mindset rules too much, you have to emulate things, by consciously processing the effects of something that's not present in you manually. This cost insane effort all the time and it will inherently never improve to a normal level. Its like living inside two worlds, one is the one of other people one is natively mine. To do that all the time is fundamentally contrary to any relationship interest. That's why I want a relationship with someone who, like me, is natively outside the normal social network, or at least able to drop it or not be defined by it.

And that's what I really refer to by 'social' in the context of relationships, social in the sense of being social by the rules of this one and only network. Its really what's causing all the socially related problems. Being social in the sense of just being together (without the rules of this network) is not difficult, neither is being around people. It could be, theoretically, as easy as being around animals or maybe in a group of apes for example for a better comparison. If you take out the endless complexity of current human society and culture, and just replace it with primitive/original human or primate interaction, its not that hard to do or learn or bear with. Autistic people have no inborn emotional deficit, the emotional problems with people are all acquired by negative experiences. And those are all again roughly caused by being non-conforming to the minds of other people.

You should not be too persistent during online dating with a girl. If she cannot find time to meet you when you want you should not offer her a number of variants, just ask her openly [url=[/url] she will have such a possibility. If time is ok for you and you decide to meet her, just remind her of a place of the meeting and say goodbye. It should sound positive. Having agreed on a date, finish your telephone call, the one who called should be the first put the receiver.

Last edited by B19 on 14 Nov 2019, 11:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.: spam

I was getting all fired up by this thread only to see that it’s from 2012. Hopefully, he wasn’t able to get involved in the ultra creepy relationship he wanted.

^ I suspect he didn't even know what LFA is like.

WPers, imagine you have a full kitkat in your hand, that's a full fledged Autism aka LFA , now break it and dilute in a Olympic pool, that's Asperger.

So with all due respect, AS' severity is nothing compared to LFA.

I was thinking the same thing. I think by his definition any autistic who is unemployed or has problems handling independent living due to autism would be considered LFA. Me & my girlfriend would both be considered LFA under the OP's definition because we cant handle independent living partly due to our autism. We're both better off in a realtionship with each other thou & I think that's along the lines of what the OP was talking about. Only he can tell us for sure thou & this post is YEARS old.

I think it sounds like you want to meet someone who's low maintenance for a relationship. Someone who is more introverted like you are.

You could say that on your dating profiles and maybe you'll get some more aligned responses from women who like the idea of also finding an equally introverted partner.