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salem44dream
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16 Dec 2012, 10:22 pm

I filled out the paperwork at my job declaring that my Aspergers is a disability. I didn't ask for much, since the way it handicaps me at work is that I can't figure out what's going on when office politics gets really intense -- but I have almost lost my job a few times because I've misinterpreted a number of situations. All I asked for on the form was for Human Resources to help me out when I feel like I'm getting lost again in the passive-agressive, mysterious-to-me, battles that my coworkers engage in.

However, now I'm nervous that because of all the news coverage of this shooting and how people only listen to the very surface parts of a story being reported, I may be stigmatized and labeled as "dangerous."

The fact of the matter is, though, I've been picked on and teased by my coworkers for years for being different -- if anything, these people have been the problem, not me. They're bullies. But when I was diagnosed, that empowered me to realize that there was a way to counteract their behavior, and it involves using the resources available at administration level at my place of work ... there's no need to let it upset me anymore.

But this does make me wonder ... during the years Lanza wasn't being home-schooled, was he bullied? I haven't heard that on the news yet.



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17 Dec 2012, 1:07 am

@MrXxx ... can you make this thread that you started a "Sticky" in News & Current Events? Maybe that will help slow down some of the speculation going on around here.

...

chris5000 wrote:
lets not forget all the weddings and schools the united states has drone bombed in Pakistan this year or the 22 children stabbed to death in a school in china the very same day

I think you may find some interesting facts in This Thread, provided by Yours Truly.


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Verdandi
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17 Dec 2012, 1:29 am

MrXxx wrote:
It's been two days since the shootings. I STILL don't give a crap whether Adam was ASD, or how this might affect my right to own a gun. There is no point in caring about any of that yet. No point, because I still have no idea whether any of the rumors of his being Autistic are true or not.

I just wish people would use their heads before posting. Think before posting. What matters more? How the victims, their families, friends and fellow residence were affected, or how all this might affect ME?


I agree with your points, although II think that out that such reactions are probably typical to autism. It's good to remind everyone that there's more to this (or any other) tragedy than the impact it may have on any of us personally or as a group.



CrinklyCrustacean
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17 Dec 2012, 3:35 am

MrXxx wrote:
What really ticks me off about situations like this is that the FIRST thing that ought to be on all our minds are the VICTIMS! !

The LAST thing on our minds should be how this tragedy will affect ME!

It's been two days since the shootings. I STILL don't give a crap whether Adam was ASD, or how this might affect my right to own a gun. There is no point in caring about any of that yet. No point, because I still have no idea whether any of the rumors of his being Autistic are true or not.

I just wish people would use their heads before posting. Think before posting. What matters more? How the victims, their families, friends and fellow residence were affected, or how all this might affect ME?

There is a limit to how much time I can spend thinking about the victims before I turn my mind to matters of prevention, and the impact that various measures of prevention can have on the wider community. The victims have the sympathy of the world right now, but there are other things which need to be discussed, too.



Surfman
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17 Dec 2012, 4:23 am

salem44dream wrote:

But this does make me wonder ... during the years Lanza wasn't being home-schooled, was he bullied? I haven't heard that on the news yet.


I'm certain he would have been, but the severity depends on where you live. Possibly Connecticut is full of HFA anyways, and somewhat more accepting? but I'm only guessing.
He definitely would have been bullied a whole lot more in some districts or nations.



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17 Dec 2012, 4:53 am

The media doesn't need our help to jump to the conclusion it has. Also, his brother said he had autism. Not saying that he was. Siblings sometimes think those things. My sister did years before I was diagnosed.

Also, bullying doesn't just occur in schools. That's to the person who wondered whether he was bullied in school before he was home schooled. I was bullied by my sister and pressured by my mother to not be so weird.

It's devastating what what happened to those children and teachers but I was scared enough of people. Now I'm worried they'll suspect my awkwardness is due to being autistic and they might be scared and ignorant enough to think I'm a killer.

Also, I agree with Marshall.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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17 Dec 2012, 5:45 am

richardbenson wrote:
What I want to know is why havent they released a motive yet? The suspect is dead so nobody can really be tried in a court. They obviously know why he did it. It seems like if they released that information, It would dissolve the rumors. As far as the rumors are concernd, it isnt shocking at all. People love gossiping and nothing is more right up the medias alley than this situation. They dont care about anything expet ratings, Hopefully this guy didnt have Autism. I really dont feel like being persecuted more then I already Am

Things take time.



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17 Dec 2012, 5:50 am

Media take and presentation brought into question...

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt218358.html



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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17 Dec 2012, 5:54 am

marshall wrote:
Maybe it's not that Autism/Aspergers makes people violent but that people who are socially isolated or have trouble coping in this very self-centered and superficial society are more prone to snap?

In any case it isn't really fair that these kinds of rage spree killings get disproportionate coverage to all the other homicides that occur all over the place in the country on any given day (the vast majority carried out by NTs). I'd say the media sensationalism makes the issue worse because a troubled angry person knows they will get more attention if they inflict violence on others than if they merely decide to end their own life.

Some people cannot cope with social isolation, true, and it affects them profoundly in negative ways but not everyone! Social isolation is what some people need to function. Or, maybe it's the rare person that desires it? I am actually far better alone than with people, psychologically, so I do not automatically assume social isolation is always a horrid affair. Not sure how A.L. felt about it. How do you know he did not like being alone? Some people actually prefer it and feel more at ease.



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17 Dec 2012, 6:03 am

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
marshall wrote:
Maybe it's not that Autism/Aspergers makes people violent but that people who are socially isolated or have trouble coping in this very self-centered and superficial society are more prone to snap?

In any case it isn't really fair that these kinds of rage spree killings get disproportionate coverage to all the other homicides that occur all over the place in the country on any given day (the vast majority carried out by NTs). I'd say the media sensationalism makes the issue worse because a troubled angry person knows they will get more attention if they inflict violence on others than if they merely decide to end their own life.

Some people cannot cope with social isolation, true, and it affects them profoundly in negative ways but not everyone! Social isolation is what some people need to function. Or, maybe it's the rare person that desires it? I am actually far better alone than with people, psychologically, so I do not automatically assume social isolation is always a horrid affair. Not sure how A.L. felt about it. How do you know he did not like being alone? Some people actually prefer it and feel more at ease.


I think people with AS (or even NT's) can go either way. I'm one of those people who are fine to be alone. I even went a whole year with barely seeing anyone, but there are some that crave company and if they had poor social skills it just makes it worse. I dunno though, my theory is that Adam may have either been treated unfairly by strict parents or was bullied. I just know what it was like for me when my mum wanted me to be normal and would just be really cold around me, and blame me for not controlling my symptoms. I tried to run away many times, and now I live far away from her and she misses me. I miss her too but I won't ever forget about the way she treated me. I feel pretty isolated from my family too at the large gatherings we have.
I've been bullied by so-called friends too, and I still can't even talk to them for a few minutes without having those feelings coming back. For ages I struggled to make friends and fit in, and then I eventually just turned against people. Now I'm just friends with people as weird as me.


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17 Dec 2012, 6:11 am

Absolutely agree that being on the autism spectrum has nothing to do with capacity for/tendency towards violence, and that there are way too many articles, blogs etc circulating which seem to be taking for granted or suggesting that there is despite there being no evidence for such a link.

It appears that Adam was prone to "violent"/disruptive/uncontrollable outbursts or meltdowns from an early age or at least early adolescence, and which led to his mother removing him from school/homeschooling for periods. Was he put on drugs to control/suppress them? :(

Personally I suspect medication and/or food-opioid induced/aggravated mental disturbance, ( he was very thin apparently often a sign of gluten-intolerance, or other chemical intolerance, and/or metabolic issues generally, vitamin or mineral deficiencies and consequently fragile/explosive mental states ), but unfortunately the image of the shy quiet oddly dressed loner with the page-boy haircut and monosyllabic speech/responses to questions, the briefcase he was so attached to, and his love of computer games is now once again associated with a tendency to kill. :(

*** I was wondering whether he may have been a member/poster here? And/or his mother too ( in Parenting? ) ? We'll probably never know unless someone has noticed background details in posts in the past which fit with their life.

Very very sad, anyway. This photo of Adam looks *so* like my own son, now 13, ( currently in school after years of homeschooling, and already painfully bored, loves playing and creating computer games, and his other behaviours sound very similar ... but he's *not* prone to violent meltdowns and isn't on medication ) ... that his father thought that it *was* him when I sprang it on him without saying who it was ...

http://s19.postimage.org/82ewdvvdv/hc_p ... 121215.jpg



Last edited by ouinon on 17 Dec 2012, 6:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

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17 Dec 2012, 6:14 am

The truth? We will never know the truth.

There is no way we can possibly know what the shooter thought or felt. Thus, his motives will remain a mystery.


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17 Dec 2012, 6:24 am

ouinon wrote:
Personally I suspect medication and/or food-opioid induced/aggravated mental disturbance, ( he was very thin apparently often a sign of gluten-intolerance, or other chemical intolerance, and/or metabolic issues generally, vitamin or mineral deficiencies and consequently fragile/explosive mental states ), but unfortunately the image of the shy quiet oddly dressed loner with the page-boy haircut and monosyllabic speech/responses to questions, the briefcase he was so attached to, and his love of computer games is now once again associated with a tendency to kill. :(

This theory has been going around but I got to say if it wasn't for my medication I would still be a very angry person with violent thoughts. Maybe it was a case of him not being medicated. We'll never know. Well, we may know when they release that information.

Medication can have some pretty severe side effects, but not always. Sometimes it actually alleviates the behaviour.


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17 Dec 2012, 9:15 am

Fnord wrote:
@MrXxx ... can you make this thread that you started a "Sticky" in News & Current Events? Maybe that will help slow down some of the speculation going on around here.


Any stickies are Alex's decision alone.

I don't know that anything will slow down the speculation, except the truth finally coming out, whatever that may be. Speculation and politicizing of events like this develop organically. It would be like trying to slow or stop a tsunami, but even tsunamis slow and eventually calm.

I have asked if the following thread might be stickied, but haven't heard yet.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt218321.html

I really wish that one would take off more so than the others. IMHO it would make a very positive statement about us all as WP members, and the AS community as a whole, no matter what the truth turns out to be.


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17 Dec 2012, 11:01 am

MrXxx wrote:
... I have asked if the following thread might be stickied, but haven't heard yet.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt218321.html

I really wish that one would take off more so than the others. IMHO it would make a very positive statement about us all as WP members, and the AS community as a whole, no matter what the truth turns out to be.

That thread is a great idea!

I haven't posted there 'cuz everything I can think of reads like a sappy Hallmark card, and those people deserve way more than that.


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