Getting Relationships to Last

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Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,879
Location: Douchebag Capital of the World (aka Washington D.C.)

21 Dec 2012, 10:00 am

I am able to get into relationships (with some difficulty, but it's doable) but not able to make them last for more than a few months - six months. Now my "weirdness" may be part of the problem. But there's more to it than that. See, I am usually the one who ends things, and the reason this happens is because I get anxious, exhausted, depressed, and passive-aggressive.

I guess it has something to do with trying to "act" and be on good behavior too much of the time. Let's face it: the real me sucks, probably a "Type Z" personality, if that existed. I not only have iffy social skills; I have severe NLD (nearly triple the minimum VIQ > PIQ gap necessary for a diagnosis), which means I don't even have typical aspie talents to compensate. When I act "normal" (for me), they get irritated, so I have to try to act their normal, which works somewhat for awhile, but it creates tension that slowly builds till it boils over. Only the first one went sour when the girl tried to "change" me; that didn't really happen with the others. They just ended when I had a meltdown.

I've started going out with an aspie girl and hope this will go better, but I'm not totally optimistic since aspies, as we all know, can be as sensitive, impatient, and demanding as anyone--just less empathetic. What I really just wish for is patience, understanding, and tolerance. Sadly, it seems to be in short supply just about everywhere. Dating someone with NLD definitely requires patience even without ASD, depression, and anxiety disorders on top of it.

Anyone else experienced this, and any suggestions?