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unsortable
Blue Jay
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Joined: 28 Nov 2012
Age: 57
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Location: Denmark

22 Dec 2012, 3:34 pm

OK, so I'm just going to jump right in. I've been trying to do this, but failing every day for two weeks in a row now. Saying hello, that is. I've gotten so used to rejection, and this seems like my last best hope of ever finding a community that will maybe accept me. I'm usually a thread killer, not a thread starter. What I'm trying to say is: this scares me - a lot.

A little about me:
I'm a 46 year old, female, and from Denmark (although I've never understood why others care so much about what age or gender you are). I've felt different from other humans all my life. Closer to other living beings than humans in fact. Like cats. And trees. I'm bright, but slow of mind. It always feels to me that the human world is moving too fast for me, and I will never catch up. Now I have stopped trying to fit in, and just do my own thing. Having been placed on disability pension 6 years ago helps a lot with that - no more pressure. Sadly I got the wrong diagnosis when Social Services evaluated me for the pension. So I'm stuck for now with schizotypal disorder (ICD-10, not exactly the same as schizotypal personality disorder from DSM-lV), although I only fit the criteria that can also be explained by having Asperger's Syndrome. I also have a lot of the issues that Aspergians deal with. Stimming, sensory perception issues, executive function problems, special interests (lots and lots of those over the years :) ). For some reason I don't have any particular routines, in fact I hate it when others try to impose routines on me - I always rebel at some point. Probably part of the reason I ended up being considered 'unemployable'.

Anyway, I decided to self-diagnose myself a couple years ago. Did a lot of research and came up with Asperger's plus a mild case of OCD. My boyfriend/partner of 18 years agrees with this wholeheartedly. So does my Mom - who independently of my own journey to Asperger's found out that she and her twin brother too are on the spectrum. It was a strange experience to have her tell me: "You know, I think I'm autistic" and I said: "Me too", and suddenly we got to know each other all over again - so much of our family history makes sense now.

So, here's hoping I won't kill as may threads here as I've done in other parts of the internet. I've looked around a bit, and it seems like a friendly place. I will allow myself to be optimistic :D



TenPencePiece
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22 Dec 2012, 3:39 pm

Welcome - you didn't seem too scared by the way you wrote the post :)
Unsortable, that's an interesting name.


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noxnocturne
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22 Dec 2012, 3:40 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)



unsortable
Blue Jay
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22 Dec 2012, 3:59 pm

Thanks for the welcome, both of you :)

Well, nervous energy makes me talk too much sometimes. And write a lot too, it seems.

I chose the name because I live in a society that loves to categorize everything and everyone, and I just never seem to fit in - and I don't like to be put in a box, figuratively speaking - literally, that's a different matter :wink:



stitch4518
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22 Dec 2012, 4:04 pm

Welcome, I am new here as well.


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erika51
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22 Dec 2012, 6:09 pm

Hi unsortable. Hi all. :) I'm new here as well. I've been lurking for a couple of weeks but hadn't registered until I read your post, unsortable. I'm a 47yo woman, from the US (Indiana). A lot of what you said really resonated with me, like when you said you're closer to nature than other humans (I'm lucky to be able to live in the country where I can be surrounded by cats & trees). I've been applying repeatedly for Social Security for Asperger's as well as a major genetic illness (CVID). I'm self-diagnosed, too--but I've got an appointment next week to see if I can get an official diagnosis. I've been told that Asperger's doesn't usually get anybody disability, but I'd like to have the diagnosis anyway, just in case I need it in the future.

I discovered Asperger's a few years ago. My parents have a lot of tendencies in that direction, too, but they don't believe anything's really 'wrong' with me (or them). Lots of denial there. But my husband and sister are convinced I'm autistic. I haven't been able to keep a job over the years between the illness and autism, and I have some associated problems--APD and some kind of a problem with my visual memory--I don't remember much of what I see, so I don't recognize different kinds of things--different people--maybe prosopagnosia (I don't even recognize my own kids), but I also don't recognize buildings, cars, tools--for example, I recognize leaves, but I probably can't tell you what kind of tree a leaf came from.

I'm also without any community whatsoever. About a month ago my only friend suddenly decided she didn't want anything more to do with me. It's happened before, and usually for no apparent reason. The only problem people have with me that I've heard about (usually second-hand) is that I don't work outside the home. These days my husband goes out with the kids and I just stay home. I've kind of gotten used to it, and to tell the truth I can use the occasional quiet time.

Maybe I can try to be the tiniest bit optimistic, too. I think the only reason I feel comfortable enough to reach out here is because you're on the other side of the planet. Can't get much safer than that. :)



Tim_Tex
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23 Dec 2012, 6:50 am

Welcome to WP!


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Vintagegirl
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23 Dec 2012, 7:21 am

Hej og velkommen til Wrongplanet :)



unsortable
Blue Jay
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23 Dec 2012, 12:14 pm

Thank you all for the welcome. Tak for velkomsten. :D

And a special thanks to you, erika51. I've been trying to answer your post for the past several hours, but I guess I'm a bit emotionally overwhelmed right now. My mind is a torrent of thoughts because it's been so long since I've had someone to talk to except for my partner and family (my mother, sister and uncle - and I only see the latter 2 once or twice a year). I lost my best friend and mentor to cancer about 15 years ago and have not had a friend of my own since then. I'm telling myself to be cautious, since I seem to either scare people off by being too intense or annoy them by being too timid. I can't seem to find the middle road very well. I really do hope that you will stick around, though. You are very welcome to PM me if you like, that is if you feel safe enough to do so. I may not be the quickest one to answer messages, as getting my strangely three-dimensional thought-patterns translated to linear language is hard. But I will always answer. This I promise. I wish you luck with getting an official diagnosis, and hope to 'see' you around Wrong Planet.



alex
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23 Dec 2012, 1:42 pm

Skål! Welcome to Wrong Planet. 8)


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unsortable
Blue Jay
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24 Dec 2012, 8:43 am

Thank you Alex :)
And thank you so much for creating this space.



Krabo
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24 Dec 2012, 2:17 pm

Hello Unsortable and welcome. Finndjævel here. Fear not, I never bite strangers :wink:


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BlueAbyss
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24 Dec 2012, 2:33 pm

Welcome, Unsortable! :)

Some of how you described yourself could describe me as well:

unsortable wrote:
I've felt different from other humans all my life. Closer to other living beings than humans in fact. Like cats. And trees. I'm bright, but slow of mind. It always feels to me that the human world is moving too fast for me, and I will never catch up. Now I have stopped trying to fit in, and just do my own thing.


I love that understanding Asperger's has helped you and your family understand each other better.



LisaOfShades
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25 Dec 2012, 10:25 am

Hi, I'm new too, but I think I can still say welcome~

I like painfully long posts~ They're a good thing. People just replying lol kill my soul...

You have a good mother and a lover... focus on that, I'm not that lucky... the label doesn't matter just enjoy the freedom... society don't want the wonderful things that you have to offer, because you're not some carbon copy or a robot doll... screw them.

You got welcomed by alex himself! ... the creator! well.... god basically. I envy you........

They didn't ban me when I came after I got assaulted 4 times the same day... I was really going nuts.... still am... so I think they're very good people. Way more interesting than the Averages... (what normal actually means)

well, enjoy... and read on adrenal fatigue, reactive hypoglycemia, introverts, and the highly sensitive person. Really good stuff to know~ took me 7 years of research and you have them served on a platter~

Enjoy~



helles
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25 Dec 2012, 5:17 pm

Hej og velkommen til WP.

Jeg forsøger at få en diagnose og skal til samtale med en psykiater i slutningen af januar (håber han kan finde ud af det der med højt fungerende kvinder).


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alex
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25 Dec 2012, 6:12 pm

A lot of WP members from Denmark I see. I was there last February for a little over a week and met a lot of cool Danes on the spectrum. Favorite country that I've visited! Absolutely beautiful.

Merry Christmas, although I know you guys traditionally open your presents on Xmas eve (we open them on Xmas day and have dinner on the 25th as well). :rendeer: :santa:


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