Fear of expressing your feelings.

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aspiemike
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01 Jan 2013, 7:21 pm

I don't know if this has been brought up yet, but I think it might need to be discussed. How many people in here are afraid of expressing how they feel to the person they like? To the person you are in a relationship with or dating? Why are you afraid of saying it?



Radiofixr
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01 Jan 2013, 7:34 pm

I couldnt express my feelings and got burned in the end and got hurt for not being able to express my feelings-it hurts.


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TheValk
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01 Jan 2013, 7:38 pm

Usually when I know it's not going to lead to any positive outcome. But sometimes seemingly promising situations end in a failure, so if you haven't confessed - who knows - you may have saved yourself some trouble, so don't grieve over what never happened.



Marybird
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01 Jan 2013, 7:53 pm

I just feel my feelings. I don't talk about them. Language is a superficial layer on top of real experience and perception. Words never seem to fit what I am actually feeling.



techstepgenr8tion
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01 Jan 2013, 7:54 pm

If your feelings have been built around a left-brained/cerebral nucleus it seems like there's no way to translate them into English, ie. almost no one will understand what kind of reality you're on, what love looks like from you, what your intentions are by your actions, etc..



aspiemike
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01 Jan 2013, 8:00 pm

Okay. So far I am getting that expressing feelings isn't what it's cracked up to be. But in a relationship context, the partner is going to want to know how you feel, and this partner may even want to hear the words. What I want to know is if you can do this and actually feel it at the same time, or will you say it just to get them to back off? How would you express your feelings to this partner without fear of hurting either yourself or that partner?



techstepgenr8tion
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01 Jan 2013, 8:03 pm

You may have inadvertently helped me answered my other thread: ie. I know of no way more accurate than with my body and lips. Holding her like she's the most special thing on earth might get the point across.



aspiemike
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01 Jan 2013, 8:21 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
You may have inadvertently helped me answered my other thread: ie. I know of no way more accurate than with my body and lips. Holding her like she's the most special thing on earth might get the point across.


I think I will feel proud for you if this helps you. I would think it would be better to feel something for someone than to feel nothing at all for anyone.



MariaMosum
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01 Jan 2013, 8:24 pm

On this kind of situation, our shyness covers us and that's the reason why we tend to get feared on expressing what we do feel.



techstepgenr8tion
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01 Jan 2013, 8:27 pm

aspiemike wrote:
techstepgenr8tion wrote:
You may have inadvertently helped me answered my other thread: ie. I know of no way more accurate than with my body and lips. Holding her like she's the most special thing on earth might get the point across.


I think I will feel proud for you if this helps you. I would think it would be better to feel something for someone than to feel nothing at all for anyone.

Well, its at least the start of a stop-gap. I'm a multi-dimensional thinker, I love to see where the planes of QM blossom through dimensional barriers to create the world we see, I get fascinated with the depths of the unseen in the world around us. Having those types of depths if I could send her a Tool or Muse song with my arms and lips and bring her to my level (make her feel like she's stoned sober without a hit of anything) that way I've at least taken care of a major piece of the problem.



MadeUnderground
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01 Jan 2013, 8:59 pm

When in a relationship I am extremely affectionate.

If I'm not expressing how I feel to them then I am holding their hand, rubbing their back, caressing their face, etc.

I like to make myself clear on how I feel and I need to be with someone who is the same way. I've tried being with someone who was very aloof and I was left confused most of the time not knowing how they felt about me.

I need some sort of confirmation. Be it action or verbal.

I think this developed after I had been cheated on so many times. It's like I need to be reassured they still feel the same way, because whenever I was cheated on, deep down I knew because they started acting different. Less affectionate, not really around or giving a crap about me.

When someone I'm with begins to act aloof, I panic and assume the worst because the worst has happened so many times.