When your parents want to lecture

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techstepgenr8tion
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09 Jan 2013, 6:12 pm

I'm starting to wonder if I can sit down and talk with my dad at all without the topic coming up. Seems like it can be anything and it drifts to my being single. On one hand he'll endorse that two of the happiest people in my family are single, and then keep telling me that I'm not giving girls a chance, or even more annoying/injurious sharing his image of me which is a son sulking around feeling bad about himself and dragging his chin on the floor. I'm not a victim, I can attest I am NOT holding my own arse about being single. The complexity I have with it is the same that a LOT of people dealing with more depth than is helpful or alternate interests than the mainstream have - ie. I just don't find people that easily, double the impact of that with ASD and unusual/atypical needs.

How often do you all run into this? I feel bad but when the topic comes up, he starts going in these directions and I've learned the hard way that I can say all I want and however he processes it my words only strengthen his belief. Admittedly I'm generally thankful that for so many years they never bothered me on this, for now though I'm feeling a bit saddened that any private or quality time with my dad almost inevitably ends up with me at a given point and after a few sentences rudely and abruptly getting up, walking to another room and closing the door. I don't like being like that but I'm not getting any alternatives unless I want to have my self awareness insulted for a full hour at which point I really will be upset. :?



techstepgenr8tion
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09 Jan 2013, 6:28 pm

You know what, I have to give this post a slight 'never mind'. I just talked to him, let him know where I stood on the topic and I think I was able to pretty adequately convince him that I'm not knocking myself. Hopefully that'll be the last of that.



LittleTigger
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09 Jan 2013, 6:36 pm

I don't know how old or what era your dad is from so
I can't tell on that one.

With my dad I ended up with abusive girls and/or
ones that were the kind that were the way that
dads think that are bad girls and after a few
times of that, dad agreed that I don't need
to be "mixing with girls".

Besides the fact that instead of being drawed to
thin girls, I was drawed to large women, and dad
does not understand why I am like that, I just told him
that either Creator made a mistake assembling me,
but he can't get that either so I told him I was
wired backwards, I don't know if he got that either
but I said dad that is just what beautiful to me.

I hope u can find a way to get out of "dating",
I hate reships, its nothing but gifghting and sadness
and fighting and junk. and i am not going to put myself
to any more abuse, and you don't deserve to be abused either,
dont stand for it, I didn't. sometimes you just gotta
stamp off from dad, I had to do it hundreds of times
before he got the message.


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When society stops expecting
too much from me, I will
stop disappointing them.


LittleTigger
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09 Jan 2013, 6:37 pm

Well holy poop --- COOL.

I hope he keeps the info and never
bug yiou about it again.


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When society stops expecting
too much from me, I will
stop disappointing them.


TheValk
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09 Jan 2013, 6:54 pm

My parents are divorced, so Dad actually discourages relationships based on that experience. Not that I listen much either way.