Romantic Relationship Statuses in Adults Diagnosed with ASDs

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At this point, I'm used to it.

I just chalk it up to yet one more "social" thing in which I am fundamentally different from the majority of humanity.

Interesting tidbit: I've read about a female chimpanzee who was basically asexual, and could be considered "genderqueer." If it's good enough for apes, it's good enough for me.

I am not asexual. I am however still puzzled as to why people sometimes appear to be so concerned by people who are. I find it slightly akin to homophobia; why are other people's sex lives (or lack thereof) an issue? If the person who does not exhibit sexual desire doesn't see it as a problem why should anybody else? O_o Trying to change that makes about as much sense as those crazy churches that try to "cure" gays.

Do you think the reaction might be as simple as this?:

"I love y, y is awesome! What, you don't like y? Well you are crazy!".

For a given type of person you could substitute y for football, hockey, a particular singer or band, a fashion style or, perhaps in this case, sex.

I've only recently been open about it. Sort of like "Wait, there's a word for that?" combined with a few concurrent experiences at the same time that reminded me why I don't like to cuddle or be touched. Also, yay chimpanzee. I agree with you - good enough for apes, good enough for me.



That might have something to do with it. I also think with the people I've known who are really into sex, they view it as a rather integral part of their lives and identity. Some articulate a need for sex with a partner that I find incomprehensible (but more power to them).

Unfortunately, I don't think I can change the poll options once people have voted on them.



For all of the future voters, if you are in a relationship or engaged or married , but are either unhappy and/or unsuccessful with it, then I would vote for the Divorced/Relationship in the Past option since that category was intended for people who have had negative experiences in terms of romantic relationships (i.e. unhappy in relationship, broke up with someone, divorced from someone, got cheated on, got taken advantage of sexually, etc.). But if you are in a relationship or engaged or married and are happy and successful with it, then I would vote for the Married/Engaged/In a relationship category since that category was intended for people who have managed to maintain a happy and healthy relationship.

Also, I would like to put all of this in the OP. But, apparently, I cannot change the OP after 3000 minutes have passed since the OP had been posted. So I have to put all of this here instead.



If you want to create a simplified version of this poll, then I don't see anything that's stopping you from doing so. Also, the reason I chose the age ranges was because young adults are not as experienced in terms of romantic relationships as full adults are and, theoretically, a lower proportion of young adults have gotten into a serious but happy and healthy romantic relationship than that of full adults.

Suddenly changing how people vote in the middle of collecting data is not going to get you accurate results.

I'm 24, female and never been in a relationship.
I only want a boyfriend/girlfriend if I can find someone who is asexual or demisexual.

I am a 32 year old female with AS. I have been married for 10.5 years to a man with autistic tendencies. We do have some communication issues at times, but our strengths and weaknesses seem to compliment each other.

I am a 26 year old male. No marriage, relationships, dates, kisses, nor romantic hugs. I have a college degree, though. I also have never been to a female's house, never been to a party that was not a children's one, and the last time anyone was in my bed was when I was seven years old because of an ice storm (family). I would not describe myself as asexual, though.

37, female, and engaged. This will be my second marriage, and I think he has Aspie traits myself. My ex-husband was actually a NT bully, as he was abusive during the marriage. Fortunately, I didn't get diagnosed until after my divorce was final, as my ex would have used the diagnosis against me.

"Female - Full Adult - Married/Engaged/In a relationship"

I've been married 29 years. But before I met my spouse I hadn't had more than a few dates with any one person and no serious relationships. I can't imagine ever finding another person I'm as comfortable with, so if we were to split up or one of us die, I am pretty sure I'd remain single.

"Male - Full Adult - Single: Divorced/Relationship in the past - Seeking a relationship"

I've been in two relationships so far in my life, one lasted for about a year and the other for two months. I haven't been in a relationship before I was 36.

The one that lasted more had an abusive/manipulative edge. Against me, of course.

Since I found out about my ASD it seems easier to see what caused my difficulties and it's fairly easier to look for someone to date with, too. The problem is, needs must met, and I think I wouldn't be a match for the average girl. Quite the contrary, I'd have to look very hard to find anyone to be in a relationship with.

So, to narrow down the scope I gave up seeking on internet dating sites, and focused exclusively on local ASD communities, both online and offline. I wouldn't go as far as to state I've found what I was looking for, but currently I'm befriending with someone who is rather intelligent and good-hearted. She actually has more than one disabilities, one of them is ASD.

One thing I've learned during the past few years is that I mustn't look at the appearance. It can be so deceitful. I couldn't believe it for so long myself, but I've come to realize that actually I have the potential for every kind of sex-perception, as if I was pansexual. It thankfully includes demi-sexual too, so I guess I could live quite happily with it.

Finally I could find someone who understands me and accepts me for who I am. I'm a quirky guy indeed so it's really is something to me.

Last edited by OJani on 14 Jan 2013, 3:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have a girl I love.
She has epilepsy.

We see each other often, I know her family and often stayed over night.
I know her since over two years now.

But we are not in a relationship.

A bit complex thing.

We kissed, but just twice or three times. I don't remember for sure.

Since it seems that this thread has died down a bit, I might as well post the results of this poll. Because whether or not one on the ASD is a young adult or full adult did not make a difference in terms of relationship experience or currently being in a relationship or currently seeking a relationship if not already in one, I have decided to get rid of those sub-groups for analysis purposes.

Here are the results:

30 (or 50.8%) of the 59 male adults with an ASD have had some sort of relationship experience (currently in a relationship/relationship in the past) at some point in their lives whereas 41 (or 71.9%) of the 57 female adults with an ASD have had some sort of relationship experience at some point in their lives. The difference between these two proportions were significant at the alpha = 0.05 level in the sense that the proportion of females with relationship experience is higher than that of males. But this was to be expected.

Only 11 (or 18.6%) of the 59 male adults with an ASD were currently in a romantic relationship whereas 33 (or 57.9%) of the 57 female adults with an ASD were currently in a romantic relationship. The difference between these two proportions were significant at the alpha = 0.05 level in the sense that the proportion of females who were currently in a relationship was greater than that of males. But this was to be expected.

24 (or 50%) of the 48 male adults with an ASD who were currently not in a relationship was seeking a romantic relationship whereas 8 (or 33.3%) of the 24 female adults with an ASD who were currently not in a relationship was seeking a romantic relationship. Although this difference was not significant at the alpha = 0.05 level, this kind of result (p(males) > p(females)) was to be expected.

The results of this poll suggests the following things (on average):

[1] A male adult with an ASD will eventually obtain romantic relationship experience (whether or not this is healthy romance experience can vary).
[2] A female adult with an ASD will eventually obtain romantic relationship experience (whether or not this is healthy romance experience can vary).
[3] A male adult with an ASD will not be in a romantic relationship (now whether or not this is a healthy romantic relationship can vary).
[4] A female adult with an ASD will be in a romantic relationship (now whether or not this is a healthy romantic relationship can vary).
[5] A male adult with an ASD who is not in a romantic relationship will, at some point, be seeking one.
[6] A female adult with an ASD who is not in a romantic relationship will not be seeking one.