If a stranger asks you for money and you don't want to give

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Uprising
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10 Jan 2013, 5:10 pm

Venger wrote:
Zodai wrote:
More often then not, I RUN.


That's hilarious because panhandling happens constantly in large cities. :lmao:

Just... run all the time!



Tequila
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10 Jan 2013, 10:16 pm

Uprising wrote:
Just... run all the time!


It'd definitely keep you fit, if nothing else. ;)



CockneyRebel
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10 Jan 2013, 10:50 pm

I tell them that I don't have any money on me.


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Schneekugel
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11 Jan 2013, 8:03 am

Tequila wrote:
Schneekugel wrote:
Maybe I dont get it, but "Excuse me." is the normal polite NT-way if you want to ask something from a stranger.


No, it was an aggressive, loud demand to be responded to for the purpose of begging for money, not a polite request. He walked behind me up the street for quite some distance and didn't stop, even when it was clear I was ignoring him. When I went to the cash machine and stood beside me he shouted "Excuse me!". That's not a friendly way to speak to someone; that's begging and a nuisance.

Schneekugel wrote:
There was nothing rude on that. The rude thing was you, with that ignoring thing instead of simply telling: "No sorry, I dont want to give you any money of mine."


Great; then I get locked into a 'conversation' (really an argument) about whether I will give him money for the next ten minutes whilst I struggle to shake him off. It's better not having arguments like that with an angry and possibly unstable person.

It's better with people like that to simply ignore them. They're not wasting your time and you're not wasting theirs. To do anything else will provide these people with an opening that you simply don't want to give. Consider it much like spam in real life. I deal with chuggers, people with clipboards, the 'lookey-lookey' men and basically anyone trying to sell me anything at all in an unsolicited manner pretty much the same way. They're a nuisance and a pest that are best ignored.

And, anyway, anyone who begs by a cash machine is trying to play on people's guilt complexes and are people who are best ignored or avoided as the case may be.

Schneekugel wrote:
If you dont want to give money its your desicion


I'm not going to give money to a tramp so he can spend it on beer... what do you think I was going to spend it on?! ;)

Schneekugel wrote:
and there is nothing to discuss about. But being rude and ignoring people that are right in front of you, is an absolute no go. This person is a human just like you, and no cockroach. So talk with him, as you do with every other human. I really do not understand whats so hard about telling a simple. "No."


Because the next question he'll ask will be "Why not?! You've got loads of money in there!" - and I guarantee you he'll draw it out and try to guilt-trip and intimidate you for as long as possible.

It's rude to ask random strangers for money in the street (I never give money to chuggers or anyone else, though I do make an annual exception for the Legion) It's even ruder to follow them, especially to a cash machine.

Schneekugel wrote:
If you see a girl and would start to talk with her "Excuse me..." then its up to her if she wants to talk with you or not and if she says so its ok.


In most cases, I'd expect her to say a quick hello and perhaps say that she's busy if she doesn't want to talk with me. That's basic courtesy.

However, this beggar forfeited basic courtesy when he behaved rudely towards me. You don't meet random rudeness with politeness, because it's more than people like that deserve. If you're polite and reasonable to someone, you should expect that in return.

If I was demanding sex off a woman, I think that's more in line with the situation I'm attempting to describe here.

Schneekugel wrote:
Dont give him money, but give him your "No." :)


I did give him my 'no'. I ignored him, which is pretty much the same thing. No response = no money. He's on the streets; he knows the score.


I am whondering if there can be so much differences just a few 100 miles away. In Vienna, the capital of Austria, such things never happened to me. Never have i been treaten, when i said no, and never insulted or anything. So there have been some people starting a conversation, but not to ask me why or anything, just happy to have some smalltalk. I think these people do not often have the chance for friendly smalltalk.

I gotta say, that this is about the normal beggers and homeless, if I see that a person is totally drunk or is smelling 10 meters against the wind, I also avoid contact and say so. The first one because if someone is totally drunk then you and him dont know what he will do, and the last one because i am very sensible for smells. What i do like about most of these people, that they talk to you on eye high. While most people that dont know me really or are strangers to me i need to make contact with (so a person working at a supermarket where i have to pay), seem to look down at me after a few seconds of conversation. So i look normal , i am capable of doing a job and living on my own, but I do know that i really have problems in social situations and that many people think i am ret*d after some seconds talking with me. So my eye contact doesnt match, i dont speak with a melody and so on and i have learned that there are many people (more than the halth i would say) who seem to have prejudices, if it looks like you have a major disease.

So when it comes to punks and all that social outsiders, there are still people who try to raise their self esteem by trying to push you down, but it seems for me that there are far less by percentage. So when talking to normal people i see/feel how somethings changes after a few seconds or sentences, while many of these outsiders just accept me as equal being.

Or maybe they just think, that ret*d girl wont have any money anyway. I dont know. ^^ I just find it really rude, to ignore someone or tell such things, that ignore would mean a No or anything. Ignoring is just ignoring and no is no. These two things dont have anything in common in my oppinion.



jk1
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11 Jan 2013, 8:51 pm

I just tell them no.

Most of the time they just give up and go. Some tried to verbally abuse me. So I just walked away. Once at a train station a guy started to be aggressive after my refusal and I had to call the railway security guards. There are so many trash people in this country who shamelessly ask strangers for money on the street. I would never give any money to them. I would rather flush my money in the toilet than giving it to any of those trash people. They are always the same sort.

In the country where I come from, you pretty much never get asked for money on the street. People there generally would feel too embarrassed to ask a stranger for money.



Prof_Pretorius
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11 Jan 2013, 9:45 pm

I look them over and try to see if they're a druggie, or a drunk. If they just appear homeless, I'll hand them a couple of singles. If they make the mistake of asking for change, I give them all my change. (Here ya go.) If I judge that they don't deserve any money, I just tell them I don't carry cash.


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12 Jan 2013, 2:54 am

"I don't have any spare money, sorry."


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12 Jan 2013, 12:30 pm

I wouldn't respond anything, just walk away.