If a stranger asks you for money and you don't want to give

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Maybe I dont get it, but "Excuse me." is the normal polite NT-way if you want to ask something from a stranger. There was nothing rude on that. The rude thing was you, with that ignoring thing instead of simply telling: "No sorry, I dont want to give you any money of mine."

If you dont want to give money its your desicion, and there is nothing to discuss about. But being rude and ignoring people that are right in front of you, is an absolute no go. This person is a human just like you, and no cockroach. So talk with him, as you do with every other human. I really do not understand whats so hard about telling a simple. "No." Specially from a person mocking about rudeness.

You should know best how sh***y people can be, when they act against you, as if you were worthless just because of unimportant things.

If you see a girl and would start to talk with her "Excuse me..." then its up to her if she wants to talk with you or not and if she says so its ok. But imagine a woman looking at you, deciding you are worthless because something weirds with you, and deciding that you are so worthless that you are not even worth to direct a single word to you, and may it be: "I am not interested." And then this woman would talk about polite behaviour.

How can we mock about this behavior of others, when we are up to such things ourselfs. Dont give him money, but give him your "No."

I don't see it as rude to ignore them. I see it as rude to expect random strangers that you don't even know to give you money. I'd ignore them if I thought I could get away with it.

I just ignore beggars in the mmorpg I play and put them on my ignore list if they are too annoying. Too bad you can't put people on ignore in real life.

I tell them that I need the money I have for something else.

No, it was an aggressive, loud demand to be responded to for the purpose of begging for money, not a polite request. He walked behind me up the street for quite some distance and didn't stop, even when it was clear I was ignoring him. When I went to the cash machine and stood beside me he shouted "Excuse me!". That's not a friendly way to speak to someone; that's begging and a nuisance.



Great; then I get locked into a 'conversation' (really an argument) about whether I will give him money for the next ten minutes whilst I struggle to shake him off. It's better not having arguments like that with an angry and possibly unstable person.

It's better with people like that to simply ignore them. They're not wasting your time and you're not wasting theirs. To do anything else will provide these people with an opening that you simply don't want to give. Consider it much like spam in real life. I deal with chuggers, people with clipboards, the 'lookey-lookey' men and basically anyone trying to sell me anything at all in an unsolicited manner pretty much the same way. They're a nuisance and a pest that are best ignored.

And, anyway, anyone who begs by a cash machine is trying to play on people's guilt complexes and are people who are best ignored or avoided as the case may be.



I'm not going to give money to a tramp so he can spend it on beer... what do you think I was going to spend it on?!



Because the next question he'll ask will be "Why not?! You've got loads of money in there!" - and I guarantee you he'll draw it out and try to guilt-trip and intimidate you for as long as possible.

It's rude to ask random strangers for money in the street (I never give money to chuggers or anyone else, though I do make an annual exception for the Legion) It's even ruder to follow them, especially to a cash machine.



In most cases, I'd expect her to say a quick hello and perhaps say that she's busy if she doesn't want to talk with me. That's basic courtesy.

However, this beggar forfeited basic courtesy when he behaved rudely towards me. You don't meet random rudeness with politeness, because it's more than people like that deserve. If you're polite and reasonable to someone, you should expect that in return.

If I was demanding sex off a woman, I think that's more in line with the situation I'm attempting to describe here.



I did give him my 'no'. I ignored him, which is pretty much the same thing. No response = no money. He's on the streets; he knows the score.

Do you get chuggers where you live? If you don't, you're in for a treat when you meet them in real life - especially the more persistent ones.

I don't think we have those in the US, at least not where I live. Those I would just quickly walk past (if I can't find a way to not go past them), not make eye contact, and not speak to them at all, like some of the people with little booths in the mall that get persistent.

Regular people beggars might get me to speak thinking they might be asking something reasonable like the time or when the bus is coming or something like that but businesses and charities get the cold shoulder right away. I know all they want is my money.

I also hate telemarketers and think they are evil scum and hang up on them. I know they need to make a living like everyone else and it's a sucky job but no one wants to hear from them. I had a telemarketer call and insist that my deceased grandmother that never used a computer in her life e-mailed them for more info. When I said she was deceased they said they would call back later.

Agreed.

I'll tell you what happened in my area. A young woman was asked for money and she said that she didn't have any. The begger told her to look again in her purse, so she did. He told her to go to the nearest store and get out cash or else he'll break the bottle that she had in her purse and hurt her with it. She complied then waited in the store for him to leave.

Yeah, even saying that you don't have any money can get you assaulted in my city. It's sad, but I'd rather not risk my safety and be rude thank you very much.

You know what I'm on about - "chuggers" is short for "charity muggers" - i.e. people who "work" for charities who are on commission and who are a nuisance, harassing passers-by to give credit card details and sign up on the spot?

Ah, so you probably do get the types of people I'm talking about.

I also hate telemarketers and think they are evil scum and hang up on them. I know they need to make a living like everyone else and it's a sucky job but no one wants to hear from them. I had a telemarketer call and insist that my deceased grandmother that never used a computer in her life e-mailed them for more info. When I said she was deceased they said they would call back later.[/quote]

Check deltafunction's latest post in this thread and you'll know why.

I've never seen those and had to look them up. The closest we have are the salvation army people ringing the bell at the kettle. Annoying but they generally don't verbally harass you or target individuals.

I'd just ignore them or avoid them, plus I don't have a credit card. Not a real one at least, I have a prepaid one that you put money on that works like a debit card and usually has almost no money on it (like $20 or less). It's to pay for the online game I play.

I usually give whatever change I have.

I also offer to give them a ride to the local homeless day shelter where they have free food.

When I lived/worked in Oklahoma City there was a very aggressive panhandler I used to see daily on my way to lunch... One day I told him I'd buy him a hotdog if he'd stop being such a dick.

He started screaming at me, so I called the police. They cuffed and stuffed him. I never saw him again.

Over here one chugger got my dad hooked on to a monthly Unicef payment IN OUR OWN HOUSE, she rang our doorbell and dad let her in.

fml

She was a young student and had an arrogant personality to me.

Yes, there are professionals, people who actually manage to pay rent and eat by panhandling. Some of them have it down to an art, and part of it is harassment or guilt. Others just stand in one busy place and hold a sign. I've known of a few who did that every day for years.

I don't like to tell blatant lies - like I forgot my wallet - but I don't let people guilt or pressure me into giving what I can't afford - or simply don't want - to give either. Its your money (OP), and you have a right to keep it. I just say, "No, I can't help you today," and walk on. If they persist, I repeat it. But some can get belligerent (remember a lot of homeless people are mentally ill or on drugs or booze and can't be relied on to understand or follow the social niceties), so I'm always prepared to merge into a crowd or duck into a shop to elude them if necessary.

It's uncomfortable, I know.

I do sometimes give people money, but I'd rather give it to the shelters or charities that help those who want help. But not usually those who come to the door (I don't like doorbell ringing as a way of getting funds - my home is my sanctuary). When I have money to give, I choose who to give it to.

If its someone trying to sell me something I'll walk by and ignore them, but if they get in my way I'll just state I'm not interest or I'm in a hurry and walk on by them.

Depends on if I have money or not, but also on emotional stability.

More often then not, I RUN.

That's hilarious because panhandling happens constantly in large cities.