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Jamesy
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17 Jan 2013, 6:00 pm

I don't mean too offend anyone in this post and I do not mean too come across as racist.

Have you noticed sometimes how SOME people from foreign backgrounds (they usually are bald with a shaved head and have dark medium brown skin). More too the point I noticed upon encountering some of these people that they can become hostile and difficult if you make the smallest mistake around them. They tend too work as public servants in jobs such as postmen or ticket inspectors on trains etc....

Why are they so unfriendly aggressive? Maybe these types of people are not as tolerant of my aspie awkwardness compared too others?


This question is mainly aimed at people from the UK



Anomiel
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17 Jan 2013, 6:07 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I don't mean too offend anyone in this post and I do not mean too come across as racist.

Have you noticed sometimes how SOME people from foreign backgrounds (they usually are bald with a shaved head and have dark medium brown skin). More too the point I noticed upon encountering some of these people that they can become hostile and difficult if you make the smallest mistake around them. They tend too work as public servants in jobs such as postmen or ticket inspectors on trains etc....

Why are they so unfriendly aggressive? Maybe these types of people are not as tolerant of my aspie awkwardness compared too others?


This question is mainly aimed at people from the UK


If that is true and not due to you just noticing them more, it might be because they think you "acting all weird" around them is because you're racist. They're probably more used to that than to aspies. You have to take their lived experience in account too.



VAGraduateStudent
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17 Jan 2013, 6:17 pm

I might be able to answer this question better if I knew what population you were talking about. Arabs? Africans? South Asians (they may appear to be from India)?

But yeah maybe they're misunderstanding and thinking you're uncomfortable around just them.

It could also be that since they're immigrants or refugees (many foreign people in the UK and US are actually refugees and not immigrants) they're just sensitive to anyone who acts "wrong" because of PTSD.



Jamesy
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17 Jan 2013, 6:22 pm

I think its more Arabic people I am reffering too but not India as such? Too be honest I can't really tell what race they are?

Why does this race act funny too me in particular? African and Chinese are friendly but not this particular race of people.



Anomiel
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17 Jan 2013, 6:30 pm

VAGraduateStudent wrote:
I might be able to answer this question better if I knew what population you were talking about. Arabs? Africans? South Asians (they may appear to be from India)?

But yeah maybe they're misunderstanding and thinking you're uncomfortable around just them.

It could also be that since they're immigrants or refugees (many foreign people in the UK and US are actually refugees and not immigrants) they're just sensitive to anyone who acts "wrong" because of PTSD.


Way better put, "racism" is a bit too broad brush. Yeah PTSD can be a factor too.



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17 Jan 2013, 6:34 pm

I've learned that when someone prefaces a statement with "I don't mean to be racist," he/she is usually about to say something racist. Change your attitude and maybe people won't be so "aggressive" and "unfriendly" around you.


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Jamesy
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17 Jan 2013, 7:49 pm

What attitude are u reffering too?

I never had an issue with people of ethnic origins until these types of people started giving me an attitude.



theWanderer
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17 Jan 2013, 10:14 pm

Jamesy wrote:
What attitude are u reffering too?

I never had an issue with people of ethnic origins until these types of people started giving me an attitude.


To me, "these types of people" gives away the fact you are, at least unconsciously, racist.

People are individuals. Some people may have given you a hard time without real reason. (Or their reason may have been something, such as PTSD, which might not have been obvious to you.) There are jerks in the world, and jerks come in all races. But when you start to think of them as "these types of people", then you've crossed a line in your own head. You are no longer dealing with people as individuals, but as types.

I'd also note something else from your original post. You mentioned people you had problems with often worked in certain specific jobs. Now, not everyone with a particular job is a particular way, either - but there are jobs which are more likely to make some of those who perform them irritable. Working for the government and coming into contact with the public is certainly something that gets on the nerves of many people who don't like being treated as "public servants" - that is, someone anyone else can walk all over. Which does not mean everyone in such a job will react this way, but some do. To my mind, that's at least as likely an explanation as a racial / cultural one. Yet you focused more on the racial aspect than the job they're doing... Why is that? Why not make just as much of a point of the type of job as the colour of their skin?

So you do seem to be hung up on race. And if you are, that might explain their attitude. At least, although I'm white, I have a very visible eye problem, and some people have a problem with that. Yes, I'm "touchy" around such people. :twisted: I figure it must be much the same if a person gets funny reactions because of the colour of their skin. Of course they'd be sensitive to that - and of course they'd be unhappy with anyone who reacted that way. I have to say, in that situation, I'd feel more sympathy for them.

Edited to add: If I had a bit of broken glass for every racist who insisted they really weren't, I could sell all that glass to a recycling plant for enough to live on comfortably for the rest of my life...


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Anomiel
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18 Jan 2013, 7:34 am

Jamesy wrote:
What attitude are u reffering too?

I never had an issue with people of ethnic origins until these types of people started giving me an attitude.


But they are still individuals. Individuals that you felt were jerks to you. We have no idea why they would be that, though we have humored you in coming up with scenarios. Me, in ignoring the racist aspect of it, talking about that you have to think of the context and what other people might be feeling not just yourself. If you can't be nice back (because everyone here has taken it very easy on you even if you don't seem all that thankful) then yes, you do probably have an attitude problem.

And if you do not want to be racist, then don't talk about "these types of people" and thinking that everyone of the same "ethnic origin" are all alike. I doubt you've met every single person.



Jamesy
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18 Jan 2013, 8:02 am

Okay let me defend myself here.

All that i was saying is that i thought it was a coincedence that the people i came across who were unfriendly too me had a certain 'look' about them. I just thought people from certain ethnic backgrounds might have a differernt attitude because of there culture. In my life as well some irish people were not that nice yet scottish people have always been friendly too me. How do u explain that? True it could also be because of there jobs and yes i did put too much emphasis on there racial background

When i am out in public white and indian people are friendly too me as well.



Ancalagon
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18 Jan 2013, 10:32 am

Anomiel wrote:
(because everyone here has taken it very easy on you even if you don't seem all that thankful)

No, actually you guys have been accusing him of being racist and having an attitude problem. That isn't even close to taking it easy on him.

theWanderer wrote:
To me, "these types of people" gives away the fact you are, at least unconsciously, racist.

Accusing someone of racism is kind of a serious thing. I really wish people were less eager to do so.

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If I had a bit of broken glass for every racist who insisted they really weren't, I could sell all that glass to a recycling plant for enough to live on comfortably for the rest of my life...

And this proves precisely what? It isn't like non-racists go around insisting that they're really very racist.


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Jamesy
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18 Jan 2013, 11:29 am

Thank you Ancalagon.

I think the people posting on this thread misunderstand what iam trying too say. its common sense as well that in some cases people from different culture backgrounds will be nicer than others depending on how they were raised or taught.


I am an open minded person and yes i always do take into account that everyone from all ethnic backgrounds is different but i think sometimes depending on what there society is like that there is a certain trend of behaviour that people follow.



theWanderer
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18 Jan 2013, 1:44 pm

Ancalagon wrote:
Anomiel wrote:
(because everyone here has taken it very easy on you even if you don't seem all that thankful)

No, actually you guys have been accusing him of being racist and having an attitude problem. That isn't even close to taking it easy on him.

theWanderer wrote:
To me, "these types of people" gives away the fact you are, at least unconsciously, racist.

Accusing someone of racism is kind of a serious thing. I really wish people were less eager to do so.

Quote:
If I had a bit of broken glass for every racist who insisted they really weren't, I could sell all that glass to a recycling plant for enough to live on comfortably for the rest of my life...

And this proves precisely what? It isn't like non-racists go around insisting that they're really very racist.


You took a few snippets of my post out of context. The last quote doesn't prove anything - except the fact "I'm not a racist" means very little.

Yes, accusing someone of racism is a serious thing. But, as far as that goes, I did suggest it could be unconscious racism - which almost everyone on the planet is guilty of. We learn it on such a deep level it's very hard to root out - and being sure you aren't a racist is hardly the best way to root it out.

And it wasn't just the phrase "these types of people" (which is almost always code for some type of racist attitude) - you overlooked the other point I made. Why not make such an issue out of the other common factor in these situations, the types of jobs involved?

And, yes, I was gentle. My sympathies are with anyone who is touchy when they sense even an unconscious racism. But at the same time, I didn't attack the OP - and, believe me, if I had any reason to be sure they were engaging in deliberate racism, of any kind, the screen of anyone who read my reply would melt from the heat of the flames. While my personal experiences don't involve race, it's close enough. (Any reason other than individual conduct for concluding someone is "inferior" or "problematic" or any negative word you want to fit in there, is pure and utter crap. Period. And enough to set me off.)


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Jamesy
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18 Jan 2013, 2:11 pm

There was NO uncounciouss racism involved. The fact of the matter is I like it when people are polite and when the ticket inspector and post man acted aggressive towards me I was annoyed and offended by them because I am a quick tempered person myself :twisted:

Nothing too do with colour of there skin just there overall mannerisms which annoyed me like it would most people. Its like if white, black, Indian or anybody acted rude too me I would feel irritated.



Last edited by Jamesy on 18 Jan 2013, 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

theWanderer
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18 Jan 2013, 2:21 pm

Jamesy wrote:
There was NO uncounciouss racism involved.


I am convinced you believe that. However... in spite of what I said about my own hatred of racism (which is perfectly true), if anyone suggested I might be, in a certain instance, unconsciously racist, I would consider that possibility for days or weeks before coming to any conclusion, and it would still probably trouble me long after that. I wouldn't deny it right away. Why is that? Because I've learned - to my shame - that as much as I hate it, I am capable of unconscious racism - and, by its very nature, it isn't something I'm aware of. I need to spend a long time thinking about the possibility and digging around in there and facing potentially very uncomfortable truths before I'll have the slightest clue if there's anything to find.

So I'm afraid the very quick rejection of the idea suggests the exact opposite of what you're saying. And the only way - if I'm right - you'll ever get rid of it is to consider the idea, to spend a very long time digging in some very unpleasant places in your mind. I'm a writer, so I'm used to looking inside my own head, and I still find it hard to do something like this. If you're not used to doing this sort of thing, it might take you years to root it out, but the longer you delay starting to dig, the longer it will take to get there. I wish I had a simpler answer - if I did, I could have used it myself and spared myself a lot of difficult moments. But I don't know of any.


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Jamesy
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18 Jan 2013, 2:24 pm

Wanderer if a white person behaves rudely too me I get annoyed.

What does that tell you?