?!Be happy by yourself before being ready for love!?

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If you're trying to say "don't give up your self-respect for a piece of ass" then I must QFE!

Hahhahaa, a 1200cc? That's definitely balls-out. My roommate's been riding for years, as OCD about muscle control and lean as you get, and he was scared by his R1 at first even. Sounds like you've been at it a while though .

That and if holding yourself back and being reticent to a point is what it takes to amp up your value - do it. You also run a risk with everything you tap that you wouldn't want to spend your life if not married to at least picking up a kid from a couple days a week or sending a child-support check out to.

The usual excuses they'll say "you hafta be happy on your own" or "you'll find the right woman one day (maybe)". It's just excuses because they don't want to face the responsibility that their society does s**t like this to people. This is largely a male issue, as any half attractive female can find SOMETHING, if not love then a 1 night stand.... Intimate love in itself isn't a biological need, sex (ie making love) is the physical aspect of love, which leads to procreation, is a biological need. Sex is supposed to be based off love, in the family structure, to raise children. Now, children are not a need. But, sex is because when you can't get it, you get bogged down with lonliness and isolation, this is nature's way of encouraging you to go out and play the field, to contribute to the cycle of life. No man should be forced to go through this s**t, it IS oppression. A mid ground needs to be sought, one which 1. guarantees women their right to choose and remain independant, and 2) guarantees men their right to sexual fulfillment. I vote legalise willfull prostitution.

...uh....I don't really need sex. I won't refuse it if offered (assuming I'm interested in the person, or, unfortunately, if I'm too drunk to really think coherently, luckily the only real instance of the latter was also an instance of the former), but that's not really the driving factor for me in wanting a relationship. Few, if any, of my male friends get this. Most just look at me like I'm crazy. I'd like to think that I'm considered crazy for reasons more significant than that.

I prefer to have REAL aspies, who actually do live with incel, to comment on it. Apparently this isn't you, as I've read some of your other posts. Stop pretending to be something your not, it doesn't make you "cool".

I don't live with incel now (thanks to escort agencies), but I used to until about a year ago. I felt miserable, and my life felt utterly empty. Not so much because I wasn't getting any, but because I felt like a pathetic loser who couldn't even get a girl to like him. And having a friend who scored more home runs than Babe Ruth didn't help either, as he constantly bragged about it. I tried everything: reading tons of dating advice books (like David DeAngelo's material), lowering my standards to rock bottom, signing up for numerous dating sites, and much more. None of it worked!

One day, another friend told me I should get an escort, so I can get it over with. I brushed off his idea at first, but as I kept living with incel, it became more and more appealing. One day, I took the plunge. I found an agency I liked, e-mailed them, followed up by phone, got the directions to the hotel, and when the time approached, got on a train downtown, where the hotel was.

When the appointment was over, it took me days to actually grasp the fact that I was no longer a virgin. As a result, I did a complete 180 in how I feel about my life. Although I still never had sex for free, I'm way more comfortable talking and flirting with girls. I went back to trying the tactics I used in my virgin days, and they're starting to show signs of success. Time will tell what the future holds.

The moral is my life story is this. If you're living with incel, break it in any way you can, even see an escort if you have to. Trust me, once you get the sexual frustation out of your system, everything else will fall into place on its own. Good luck.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 04 Jan 2007, 2:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah but some of us can't afford escorts on a regular basis. I'm a po' boy.

It doesn't have to be on a regular basis. Once is enough, 'cause hey, you only need one time to lose your virginity. Just save up some money, if you have to. It's well worth the investment. I'm not rich either, but this is one of the luxuries I consider important enough to allow myself to have.

if you're referring to me, I'm not trying to pretend to be anything. Sex really isn't a drive for me. More than that, it wasn't until recently (within the last year) that anything really went my way in terms of relationships. I had been interested in having one for a good while prior to that.

I was to the point of thinking about an escort myself, simply due to the mental strain friends of mine had put on me. Just in case you didn't know, getting harassed for being a virgin is less than fun. It was made out to be an expectation of me, in that if I didn't live up to it, I was somehow less than them, yet at the same time they would turn around and say it was nothing.

Also of importance, I'm not trying to look cool. Impressing you isn't exactly on my list of priorities, that would suggest you were worth impressing in the first place.

As for you accusing me of being a "fake" aspie, I get tired of some people on here that whine about being alienated for being different, then alienate others for not being identical to them. That, and the notion that some people have that not being officially diagnosed, or being diagnosed with something other than AS, somehow makes them less worthy of speaking. Heaven forbid you be an NT here, some people here look at that like it is worse than spitting on someone's mother.

Ok so I apologize, I misunderstood you then... It's just that so many people on here are faking and I dunno who is and who isn't, but those on here who are can sometimes be blatantly obvious, but maybe I was alittle quick to jump at you. But the pretenders bother me because I feel it's taking away my voice about something that has deeply effected my life, and giving this voice to someone who'se never lived with day 1 of it.

There is a site called http://www.incelsupport.org; click on "Forums" once you get there. It deals extensively with involuntary celibacy (a.k.a. incel) that men deal with. It also deals with related topics, such as escorts, dating advice, and even AS.

I get around it by 'not caring' (bout the acquiring of sex)

Hoy, I think referring to women as "a piece of ass" is mondo insulting! We are thinking and sensing PEOPLE, thanks very much!

Snake, how do we know you are Aspie ie. do you have an official diagnosis?
Some women might be happy with one-night stands but for many others of us, we would find such a thing degrading and it would actually make us more lonely than ever.

I would also say that a fair number of men find one-night stands ultimately unsatisfying too.

If something is going to be a one night stand, it is important that both parties go into it fully informed and aren't tricked into having sex with somebody who is just going to leave them really fast.

Atleast the one night stand is SOMETHING, atleast I wouldn't have to feel like a freak of nature who doesn't deserve to be touched if I could get that. You can get it.

I'm not going to lie and say I read every post, but I do think one thing that has been said somewhere here is a good point. It may not be "PC", but I can look at any notion, even that which may offend me, and consider the truth in it.

Not speaking insofar as pregnancy and going THAT far, women and ASPIE women do have it easier, in general. In certain ways, anyway. Think about it. What's the percentage ratio of single aspie males to single aspie females? What's the percentage ratio of aspie women who date NT males compared to vice versa?

This is basically gender privilege. A woman decides who a woman will date, not the other way around. A guy is supposed to be seen as the aggressor, the "hunter". So, AS will affect his abilitites in this area more than the "object" (not meant in an insulting context). She may not see the "father of her children" among many of the guys, but even the most unattractive female will have comparatively more choices. Probably twenty guys. There's a reason males have a higher incel rate than females. It's not "sexist" for one to say that. It's being truthful, without the guise of political correctness. I hate how some people call a guy "sexist" for stating facts.