What can you do if a man rejects you because you have autism

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last summer I met a man that I really liked. I felt so drawn to him. he had been living with a person and they split up. Just after we met, they got back together. Now he has split up again.
(she is way too young for him). He did not know that I was on the spectrum. Today he told me that the reason that he did not date was because he thought I could not stop being a professor, that I talked at him, that there was more to life than the subject I research and write about. I decided to tell him that I was high functioning on the autistic spectrum. He said to me how can I ever go out with someone who can't socialize with other people? I felt terribly hurt and so inadequate. He thought I could change. I told him that I could not change myself too much, because I was born with autism. He kept insisting that I could change. I told him to read up on female with Aspergers and, maybe then he would better understand me. I know we will remain friends --he is committed his friendship with me. I am sad--I really liked him in a way that might involve dating and an LTR. We will remain friends, I am almost certain. I feel I must take and give back what I can, even if that entails boundaries. I am feeling terrbly lonely tonight. This has happened before. But this time, I can remain friends, if need be. I am also feeling very depressed. he told me that if I hadn't talked at him non-stop about my subject, he would have been interested in me. I am weeping.

This has happened to me before and it feels bad.

Maybe he is not the right guy for you if he expects you to change. I do not believe it is right or healthy to expect your partner to make significant changes to him/herself. If you don't like the person the way he/she is then you should not date that person. Also if there are particular behaviors that he doesn't like then it would be nice of him to say so early on in the relationship.

When you said that you were a professor, does that mean that's what people say about you, or you literally are a professor? What is your subject?

Also it is probably generally true that always talking about the same subject is not a good way of making friends.

You shouldn't show this to him, as he sounds hopeless, but it could be good for you to watch
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwjNcYemGV0[/youtube]

Hope you feel better. Remember that there are more accepting people out there (that understand what Asperger's is in the first place!)

Find an autistic guy to date.

Interesting video you linked there.

Generally with rejection, there's nothing you can do, except move on.

Hello everyone. I am new to this site and can't respond to people individually until I post 5 posts. This is post number 2. I am going out and will post in the next days. In answer to your question: I am an adjunct professor and am currently wiritng a monograph on a subject related to architecture. The video was great! Thanks to all of you for advice and your kind support. Be back soon.

This "Boy" is incredibly shallow. In all honesty, I think he is using this as an excuse as much as it pains me to say. Look at is this way, If he is that shallow to begin with, a relationship with him will probably only bring you more pain in the future.

It's not about finding someone who is accepting but who is compatible. That guy wasn't compatible and the relationship would have helped no one. He wanted you to change and you possibly would have out grown him because he wouldn't have the intellect to keep up. I was in a ten year marriage that eroded because we were going in opposite directions. I am so much happier now with someone who loves that I like to learn new things.

It happens with me when it comes to NT women!

A lot of people I notice are labelling people "shallow" because they break up with someone who is autistic. Frankly, I commend them, if my ex (or myself) had done it earlier we could have saved ourselves a lot of time and pain.

Incompatibility is no ones fault.