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FalsettoTesla
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28 Jan 2013, 8:17 am

Verdandi wrote:
CftxP wrote:
Sorry, but being a victim gets you nowhere. Stay positive and use your mind to its fullest DV and that's how you'll become successful.


I tend to find statements like "being a victim" involve a lot of assumptions. Also, staying positive is more of a placebo than an effective strategy for facing life - that's before you get into issues like depression and anxiety that make it extremely difficult to be positive.


And then once you have those problems, because of the 'positive thinking makes everything a-okay! (Or at least manageable!)' there's a sort of unspoken assumption that if you're depressed or have anxiety is because you're not trying hard enough to think positive. :roll:



notinabox43
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28 Jan 2013, 8:37 am

And then once you have those problems, because of the 'positive thinking makes everything a-okay! (Or at least manageable!)' there's a sort of unspoken assumption that if you're depressed or have anxiety is because you're not trying hard enough to think positive. :roll:[/quote]

Totally agree! It comes under the same heading as 'just relax' and 'have more faith'.



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28 Jan 2013, 9:17 am

Hmm.... How many platitudes can we come up with?

You just have to...

Pull yourself up by the bootstaps
Smile more
Think good things and good things will happen

As for feeling broken, I could argue that but you can argue a thought, you can't argue a feeling.

My for real suggestions:

See a Dr. You may be depressed (meds do wonders)
See a therapist, CBT could help.
Don't have toxic people around you. (this can be VERY hard and likely you need steps 1 & parking 2 first)

Good luck, I really hope you find a way through this.

As for being proud to be an aspie.

You should be proud to be you, no matter how you were born. Your actions are who you are, not your words or even your feelings.

We are truly all created equal, even though it sometimes it doesn't feel like it.



DVCal
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28 Jan 2013, 10:01 am

When I say defective, I am thinking of it in the same way as being born with a congenital disorder, such blindness, deafness, or down syndrome. I can understand if people do not want to think of these as defects, but they are not positive or normal either.



b9
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28 Jan 2013, 10:09 am

i have no pride in the fact i have autism, but i am very glad i am me.



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28 Jan 2013, 10:43 am

DVCal wrote:
When I say defective, I am thinking of it in the same way as being born with a congenital disorder, such blindness, deafness, or down syndrome. I can understand if people do not want to think of these as defects, but they are not positive or normal either.


I will agree ASD is not the norm although if rates of ASDs were to climb at the current pace ASD would be normal within a generation or two.

As for not positive, that is a different story. Who are you to say that someone is not positively impacted by their genetic anomaly? Be it blindness, lack of hearing, down syndrome etc. there are positives and negatives to pretty much everything, even if you don't see them.

There are plenty of NT people who don't like who they are, they are too fat, too skinny, too black, too white, breasts are too small/large, small dick, big ass, no ass etc.

All of these are outside the 'norm' most are at least partly genetically inherited.



silentlyvela
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28 Jan 2013, 11:03 am

Even though my therapist diagnosed me with autism over aspergers, she gave me a book to read. Since on the topic of benefits I think it should be mentioned. It was called "The Gifts of Asperger" by John M. Ortiz and the main goal of the book was to point out benefits, and add insight to what aspies are strongest at. Not only jobs and school but other life instances were covered too. I really recommend it.



Joe90
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28 Jan 2013, 4:33 pm

I choose not to participate in this thread because all of my AS traits are just the negative ones. But I must say that these sorts of threads often turn into a ''list anything you want'' thread, where people get carried away and just list things down that have nothing to do with having AS at all, and just turn into ''positive traits about being human'' thing.


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answeraspergers
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28 Jan 2013, 4:38 pm

I have some positive aspects.

Fear of abuse stops me sharing them though - Tall Poppy Syndrom (on a Aspie forum!! !

Again im not clear if the answers are Autism or Aspergers.



Last edited by answeraspergers on 28 Jan 2013, 5:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

felinesaresuperior
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28 Jan 2013, 4:41 pm

DVCal wrote:
None, no reason to be proud to be born damaged.


we're not damaged. we're different. animals love me better than nts. they come to me. they must know something... we're interesting. we're albiert einstien and bill gates. and we're tough and independent, and physically stronger than nts many times. and we're very emotional. that's why we get rage attacks. we feel very strongly.



AspieOtaku
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28 Jan 2013, 5:11 pm

Being able to relate to the blatent randomness and hyperactivity as well as over active imagination![youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbAIxCE_NlI[/youtube] Like Haruhi hehe


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Joe90
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28 Jan 2013, 5:18 pm

Wow! I wish I were like that as an Aspie! I believe men are physically stronger than me, and I am physically weaker than most women, or just the same, but women who are physically stronger are either those that have a bigger build or do a lot of heavy lifting, or are into heavy exercise.

And I am no Albert Einstein either, and especially not Bill Gates. Whenever something goes wrong on my computer, my NT cousins know just what to do and one of them comes round and fixes the problem, and there's me sitting there confused and feeling so thick. Something's wrong with my internet right now and I don't know what and why.

I am not physically or emotionally tough. Nowhere near! I'm anxious, unconfident, sensitive, and even a crybaby. And independant? Just the thought of moving out and living alone fills me with fear.

And this is what I don't get about WP; one minute NTs are the ones that base all their intentions and interactions on emotions, the next minute it's Aspies who are the emotional-orientated ones. Sometimes WP makes out to make NTs look like emotionless robots that are just programmed to gossip about sports, fashion, music and celebrities (unless one day a thread springs up saying ''are Aspies more likely to like gossiping/be into sports/fashion/music/celebrities?'')


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Samian
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28 Jan 2013, 6:13 pm

Well, I can think things through from first priciples and it helps me understand what it is I want to know. It's always served me well. I don't need a group brainstorming session to figure out some ideas. Proud of being able to think for myself - yes!



Quinntilda
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28 Jan 2013, 6:18 pm

I'll come back when i find something to be proud of.



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28 Jan 2013, 6:26 pm

I'm no Albert Einstein, but it doesn't keep me from being happy. Each day I think about something that I like about myself that doesn't have anything to do with my appearance and every 15 days I tell myself that I'm proud of my appearance. The appearance thing is just me though. I know that not everybody hear likes how they look. I'm sure that if everybody on WP can think about something they like about, when they wake up each morning, WP will be brimming with happiness. :idea:


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Verdandi
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28 Jan 2013, 6:51 pm

DVCal wrote:
When I say defective, I am thinking of it in the same way as being born with a congenital disorder, such blindness, deafness, or down syndrome. I can understand if people do not want to think of these as defects, but they are not positive or normal either.


They are atypical, but that's no reason to call them defective either. Objects like toys and machines are defective. People are not.