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would like some feedback

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DrSnow
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30 Jan 2013, 10:46 am

i was sitting on a idea for a short story and i finaly wrote it and it would be very nice to get some feedback


http://www.scribd.com/doc/122955861/Snow

i'am kinda new to this kinda stuff so sorry if anything looks odd or something.



redrobin62
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30 Jan 2013, 12:53 pm

Try to get someone to work with you on your grammatical errors because it makes reading your introduction and story difficult. That said, your story is visual and has good ideas. Yes, it was depressing, still, keep up the good work.


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WolfieBoi
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01 Feb 2013, 2:28 am

Quite a dark vignette...


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BlackSkimmer
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01 Feb 2013, 2:40 am

Question
Is it ok if we make correction and then email to you?