It seems to me Aspie women have an easier time then men in

Post Reply New Topic

My guess from a math probability point of view if a single aspie man finds a mate in his life time the odds have to be more than 10 to 1 she will be a NT women.
So the question if aspie men or women have a harder time finding a mate is of no use but to make some aspie women feel as if us aspie men do not understand their suffering. I have made that misstake before and it serves no purpose.

A more important and usefull guide for single aspie men would be how do aspie women and NT women courtship vary? You can make the assumption that aspie women by the definition of aspergers may infact be more passive and more like the traditional female role where the male does most of the courtship agression action. In that case aspie womens addvice to aspie males maybe even less usefull than a random NT female. Which means threads like this serve no purpose but to promote alot of rantings by men and women that maybe useless to each other.

on one hand aspie girls are excessively idealized as better(apparently they are "completly honest" and never lie!) and less frivilous than nt girls(which isn't necesarily the case) and then on the other hand they're resented as having such an easy time dating wise. not fair...ha! way too much projection taking place in how aspie girls are thought of. irrational to have aspie girls serve as projective containers for our negative and unwanted feelings and frustrations. projection and jealousy get you nowhere.

and why would aspie girls like it having guys constantly hitting on them and asking them out as some think is the case with them? then it seems like all guys just want to get in their pants and the guys who act nice are just passive aggresive phonies.

Yeah, there are a few females with AS who are incel.... It's because (no offense here) they look overly masculine. A guy doesn't wanna feel like he's dating a guy with a vagina, that's sort of crossing orientational boundaries. I mean I know looks aren't the most important thing, but to some degree they are. I mean, straight men won't dig her because they'll think she's a guy, the only real dating options for them are lesbian. I don't mean this to hurt anyone's feelings, and I sincerely hope that I'm not hurting anyone's feelings. But it's the truth though.
But they still have it easier than men though, because they can make themselves look alittle more feminine and attract guys (I'm not saying you hafta go full on victoria secret, just enough to be identified as a female). If she looks alittle more feminine, enough to be recognised as a female, guys will approach her. Not so with a male, because we have to do all the courting.
AS women don't have to go out of their way to look more feminine, they don't need to go the usual NT route of using 10 lbs of makeup and 3 cans of hairspray. Just grow your hair alittle bit longer, take some care of your shape (I'm not saying you'd have to be a supermodel, in fact I'd rather a girl didn't look that attractive because it'd likely mean she had little if any inner beauty, most likely, but it doesn't help to look like Mr. Universe or Samoa Joe from TNA wrestling either).

and what's so wrong with tomboys and girls who aren't as feminine as the norm? if these straight guys are so insecure about their sexuality that they need to have a woman rigidly externally conform to the feminine norm then they're not worthy of dating aspie girls.

rather than empathizing with aspie women who have dating difficulties like aspie guys like us do, you suggest they're too masculine?

(i don't mean to be argumentative, but everyone with aspergers is going to have a hard time finding love. and it's counterproductive to say that aspie women or women in general have an easier time. not only is it wrong, but repeating that falsehood isn't going to make them like you.
i'm a huge hypocrite in saying all this because in interacting with nts i'm always saying and thinking how easy life is for them and how hard it for me. and not only don't they like hearing that and think i don't empathize with them, but it's not necesarily the case. everyone has difficulties, the less we whine about our own and the more we listen and empathize and try to understand others, the more people will like to be around aspies like us.)

Here is what I want to see in a potential girlfriend, Aspie or NT:

1. Wanting me because something about me turned her on, not as a desperate attempt to "be like everyone else" And I would strongly prefer that the thing about me that turns her on be something about my personality--not anything material.

2. The ability to be flexible every now and then--someone who can think outside the box.

3. Someone who is comfortable with giving and receiving touch.

4. Sexual compatability.

5. Someone who does not give up when things get difficult.

Tim

That's all guys think about, getting laid. That's why it's easier for me as an ASPIE women to get laid if I want to get laid. But I'm Not a hole. Don't treat me as one. I don't want to get laid by just anyone. I want love, and most NT males aren't going to put up with my weirdness and most ASPIE males are too weird themselves.